moistmouse
271404
10707
215
Test what?
Needless to say she was very impressed with my dexterity and swiftness I so expertly displayed by gorging myself on an inedible shoe while my handler panicked and tried to pry it from my mouth. The woman showed her awe by hysterically laughing and giving me a high five. I am so cool.
Yeah like I said, I am pretty cool. And I am a boy and boys fart so whatever. My handler turned this really cool shade of red and it was pretty awesome.
Okay look, I like fish. They are cool and they move really fast and I am not gonna deny it. I also attempted to eat my barf to hide the fact that I barfed as if my handler didn't see and hear my hacking. Whatever still cool.
Child was like 20 - 30 lbs over weight. He was like 8 years old and because my handler uses a mobility harness that looks like a handle bar, the child decided to go for a ride. She made this sound like a turkey being stepped on when she saw and hoisted the kid off of me and handed him to his mom. The lady turned the same shade of red as my handler did when I farted in class. Man that was so cool.
I know that I am supposed to lay on her lap and wait for her to wake up. I also know I am not supposed to pay attention to strangers. But this was our first outing alone and the people were all panicking so I decided to show them how smart I am and how cool my tricks are.
I am basically a hero. Super casual but I should change my name to hercules because I am so awesome.
In all honesty though, I wouldn't be able to live my life without him and I am so thankful to have this sweet little fluff ball marshmallow in my life. He keeps me safe and helps me remember why I get up everyday. I love you Mac.
Part 2 for those interested http://imgur.com/gallery/lpSKG
N8tvTexan
As a service dog handler, yup, this is 100% accurate. Would be lost w/o my sweet Maggie.
TCTom
You know it. Only boys fart.
KillerCaitie
You're a good dog. Mac. A very good dog!
fnordy
I love the idea of a dog waving its paws and telling all present, "Stay calm, all is well."
itsKABLAM
And by red do you by chance mean slightly darker gray?
Talhoffersghost
Who's a good boy? YOU!
chardlz
Being a service dog is probably the best. My dog and I cry together when I have to leave him alone. Never have that problem as a service dog
mchugh
I just enjoy the fact that you have a handler and not a "Hooman" like all the other animals that use the site.
ThrowdaFischbach
I have never heard a dog fart. Just realized that. Weird.
ISarabi
If he's always "never like this", he's not "never like this".
holyshnikes
Love the post OP but your user name makes me uncomfortable lol
moistmouse
Lol
Jocowa1999
@InboxMeYourGoldenRetrievers
SqueezeTheDay
Love dogs.
wronglevahhh
A good friend of mine has a seizure dog. It was was fun reading the stories from the dog's perspective! Thanks for sharing!
Theenatalie
A few weeks after my dog passed his public access test he had horrible diarrhea in the hospital right in the middle of a hallway.
moistmouse
I am literally writing about that RIGHT NOW lmao. It happens to all of us. I carry paper towels now haha
freyjaboo
I lost it at the over excited barfing
kitth
I bloody love dogs. Constant and unconditional love. The only time they'll break your heart is when they pass.
Couldnotthinkofagoodusername
Someone get this dog a cape!
AmiAthena
I thoroughly enjoyed this.
Ryebread91
@op could you go into more detail on the stair saving story? Why was she about to fall and how was help signaled.
moistmouse
time (and he never barks) and they came running. By that point I had already fallen and he had shoved his body against me and the wall.
moistmouse
I was on the landing on the top of my stairs. He alerted but I usually have time to get to the bottom. I didn't. He barked for my SO at the
eatingimguraffe
I didn't know typing was in the training process too? Hello dog.
gnocchtastic
Hello? Yes, this is dog.
moistmouse
I was told people wanted to hear his point of view. I think I captured his essence pretty well
ImgurMakesMeCringe
This was very well done. Thanks for that. However, a dog this cool needs an awesome nickname
ImgurMakesMeCringe
Something clever with Mac and golden retriever...anybody got anything?
wykesy
Edward Macaroni Fork.
moistmouse
oh my gosh no hahahaha
UpVoteAllDogs
We trained a dog who are half a chocolate cake. Stuck my hand down his throat and pulled out wet cake. Not today dog!!
ThatRussian
My parents' dog found a giant chocolate bar in their car, ate it, then had diarrhea and vomit all over.
ZippytheMuppetKiller
Establish dominance. Eat the cake.
NastyHabit
Well wasn't that just cute and entertaining. Have an upvote!
moistmouse
no good sir or madam, you have an up vote! up votes for all!
q118
Even me? :D
moistmouse
especially you @q118 !
q118
Yayyyyyyyyyy (also nice post wos adorable)
moistmouse
im glad you think so ! I think my little bug is pretty special
TalkWithMyHands
”Handler turned this really cool shade of gray." FTFY
erecttissuepaper
This is a dumb question but what does FTFY mean?
TalkWithMyHands
Fixed That For You. Not gonna lie I looked it up originally.
erecttissuepaper
Thanks!
appaismyspiritanimal
I guess you do care a bit.
SomeObscureReference
CleverUsernameNotTaken
While I was scrolling down I knew this would be top comment.
SomeObscureReference
How could it not be?
LadyWidebottom
Looks like the dog's out of the bag now
LmaoKeeg
Is that dog playing Gmod?
SomeDetroitGuy
This explains the internet's fascination with bacon
DarthFutuza
Mitchz95
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/keyboard_mash.png
SomeObscureReference
That's a fucking game changer right there. He's browsing the web.
DarthFutuza
harharharharhar
SomeObscureReference
Keep posting those memes. I'm lovenom. (hard to type that one out...it works better out loud)
ATalkingMushroom
I'm lovin' 'em.
NotActuallyADog
I'm relevant!
SomeObscureReference
Do you know "iamnotsecretlyadog" by any chance?
NotActuallyADog
No, but he's obviously not a dog.
SomeObscureReference
Clearly!
iiSpaceCatLoaf
Ontheinternetnooneknowsyourejustcups.jpg
iamnotsecretlyadog
I concur.
SomeObscureReference
I am SO glad I checked the username.
misterplasma
Yeah but everyone somehow knows that I'm a dick. Wonder why.
ChickWithAnAttitude
Because you keep showing it to everyone! Case solved.
smokeythebeard
/a/iTaFv
SomeObscureReference
https://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/ohiGhyFDh-vROtC6.png
CanSomeoneHelpFixMySpacebar
my only regret is that I have but only one upvote to give.
CheesyPoofsWithSomeFavaBeansAndANiceChianti
As a crazy cat guy, I'm here to say that I love dogs. What I don't love are dog farts. They are consistently worse than any other species'.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
have you been around cow farts? because I think they might beat out dogs, but not by too much
CheesyPoofsWithSomeFavaBeansAndANiceChianti
well cows aren't typically found in confined spaces, so i wouldn't have counted them.
hoofbeatsandsnowflakes
well thank god for that!
ShittyMcFartPoop
Life without dogs is possible, but would be pointless
cocochronic
Yes. This
GoAheadAndCallMeG
That's some poetic shit!
Zahnradfee
That's by Loriot! The greates german humorist - unfortunatly not appreciated abroad because they don't understand that kind of humor. >
Zahnradfee
Although he was originally referring to pugs in particular.
2arqu0n
I would have mentioned that if you hadn't yourself. Ein Leben ohne Mops ist möglich, aber sinnlos.
chrisdafish
We would've domesticated the bears
Zahnradfee
Loriot! ... You're german, amirite?
moistmouse
not for some. If I didn't have him, I would need 24/7 in home care and at that point I personally feel like that is a life I don't want
ShittyMcFartPoop
i totally agree - many thanks for sharing and the way you did this too!
daytodaze
I agree with @ShittyMcfartPoop great share! (Also, I really wanted to type ShittyMcfartPoop... Twice)
ShittyMcFartPoop
hahaha, this post, its comments - ymmd :-)
imalovernotaspider
Seizure response dog?
moistmouse
Yes
letsrunaway
Wow I did not know that was a thing! Dogs never cease to amaze me!
imalovernotaspider
Years ago I volunteered with Canine Assistants here in Atlanta. It was so amazing to hear how our dogs changed lives.
queenofthepigs
I demand more, if possible.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Eowyneb
More please!!
JustJoan112
Please make a part three! Pretty please?
hereforthepuppygifs
And now a part four. Pretty pretty please. Also, I'd love to know more about how it all works and how the dog can sense when to alert and ya
queenbeehbic
These are fantastic!
moistmouse
really?
TheSadCafe
These are amazing :) I love dog stories, and these are so funny. Glad you and he have such wonderful adventures! (With barf!)
TheIrishMisfit
Absolutly. These are awesome!
ManishManTheManlyMinotaur
I assume you'll continue to post more stories of you and your human?
saharadesert
Absodefinitely
carlinabob
More please
ZachNanamus
Are you kidding, they are hero dog stories. It's like crack for this site
IntelligentHippo
Yes
SlicedPotat
Yes! Yaaaaasss!!
queenofthepigs
Yes. This is hilarious.
moistmouse
if this one does well, Ill make another
ohdeepthought
I love service dogs, they are heroes.
queenofthepigs
Deal.
gnocchtastic
Yes please!!
[deleted]
[deleted]
anloni
WHO TRIES TO RIDE A DOG ?!?
Siegerose
morbidly obese children apparently...
Misora
I used to ride my grandpa's dogs like ponies. But they were 200lb+ hunting dogs and I was like 6. We'd ride all around the property.
NostrilMonster
Toddlers pretty much.
reux
Kanye
bsilly00
.. i did, but, to be fair it was my dog
Bombofclusterfucks
Kids try that with my newfie and he did not like it, honestly think he took it as someone trying to dominate him
jabbathebuttface
Mitchell Pearce
jabbathebuttface
Mitchell Pearce
appaismyspiritanimal
The guys who made that Doritos commercial.
Oldcarsarecool
Depends on the size of the parties involved . . . http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/images15/IrishWolfhoundFrankBrendan.JPG
primadonna13
I rode my husky. As a baby.
whyattearp
HonestCommentFarmer
That is a fantastic image.
Siegerose
very turtle. much slow. wow. hurry up peon.
Ilovestalecoffee
Any child that sees my 150 pound great dane
zeusdemigod131
I use to, when I was 4 or 5, my neighbors let me ride their Black Lab around their yard
HelenaL
You know nothing http://49.media.tumblr.com/3e6f929167caccea8055e864a2b0d6e4/tumblr_o1hdeleVtT1tlb56zo1_500.gif
Flyndaran
Hell, my GF had to virtually ride our past cat Cerberus to apply flea meds. He still could crawl with a 200+ lbs lady on his back.
Flyndaran
Not the largest cat I ever had, but by god was he the strongest.
davaloha
My cousin had a saint Bernard that used to love my brother sitting on his back when he was 3, must've thought he was one of the horses :)
anloni
I had a grosser schweizer sennen, a kid (who did not know us) desided to hang over his back. My dog had backproblem. I was not happy..
FartyMcPoopyButt
I'll never understand that! I only needed to be told one time by my dad "those ain't pettin' dogs, those are working dogs"
gummysharkies
Kid probably wasn't told that.
busdriverdan
Growing up with seven dogs I learned early on to ask permission from the owners before i touch their dog.
TheFoxyVixen
Halflings.
SilverwingPrime
I'll pay that one.
WithPride
I did but I was like 5 years old or something. Not to mention, underweight and the dog was like 2-3 times bigger than me.
WithPride
The owner also put me on him so that also is a factor as well.
AmiAthena
Probably the most important factor.
moistmouse
Kids with bad parents
JeraldJohnson
I have to disagree here. My two year old attempts to ride out pit bull every now and then. But we disapline the behavior, and dont let 1/2
JeraldJohnson
near dogs whose owner isnt aware of the behavior (cause, SHES 2) so if she does it, they decided to take the risk of her doing that
sporkchop24
I mean. Kids with good parents try to ride dogs too. It's just a kid thing. Generally not OTHER PEOPLE'S dogs, but still. =P
anloni
Very true !
DestroyUsAll
My brother is legally blind and walks with a white cane. A kid tried to grab it right out of his hands while he was using it. (1/2)
Biomatrix
Fuck this kid
DestroyUsAll
The kid's mom looked up from her phone just in time to pull her son back. He proceeded to flip his shit and she went back to her phone (2/2)
CheeseIsNaturesFudge
I know it's unethical and shit but if I get on the wrong side of a blind person in going to be real fucking quiet.
DeltaDin
>:( Dude, people act as if they need their phone to breathe. It makes me angry, especially on the road.
ASDFFDSAASDFASDF
there was a study where anger was just as dangerous as phones for driving
peridotstar
You're a better person then me, I'd have probably gotten picked up by the cops for beating that kids ass with my brothers cane.
DestroyUsAll
I was about five seconds away from it, too. My brother was pissed when we told him about it later.