crowsandrobots
122181
3587
30
Feb 13, 2021 8:00 AM
crowsandrobots
122181
3587
30
Iamyourcaptainnow
Things happening the last few years made me much less critical of movies. Before: "Nah, this is unrealistic" now: "Yep. Totally possible"
SithElephant
Way too many books with interesting concepts end up with inconsistent execution with irreconcilable internal plot holes.
DrClaww
And who says the bible isn't entertaining
v
DanSapSan
Angel the series has an elisode about nazi vampires in a submarine. And that was one of the calmer season 5 episodes.
DrClaww
They pulled it off so much better than Star Trek did with space nazis
GibsMcKormik
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Why_We_Fight_(Angel)
mercyPandaRunner
It's way harder to come up with original stupid-good ideas than original smart-good ideas. You can imagine my disappointment when I ~>
mercyPandaRunner
drunkenly pitched my idea to 'George Washington is: Independula' to my uncle and he said: 'I saw the Trailer, but I think it was Lincoln.'
cainofdreaming
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9044298/
easytigger
Angel did it. It was set during WW2 and he was sent by the US to kill Nazi vampires on a submarine!
MaadMaanMaatt
“I’m sick and tired of these mother trucking vampires, on this Monday Friday submarine!” Samuel Jackson
Wrenfield
I feel like he'd just get eaten by a smart shark anyway.
alaest0r
Jackuel Samson*
NovemberIndiaCharlieKilo
Monkey fighting**
daguq
*Lamuel J. Sackson
higherbelow
Does the submarine have the weekends off? Asking for a friend.
burnwiner
I would watch this, just to hear Samuel L Jackson say: - "I Have Had It With These Motherf*cking Vampires On This Motherf*cking Sub!"
OrkieBleu
Vampires can't cross running waters, but what about going under running water.
KountyBoy19
There was a episode of Angel where Spike and him invaded a nazi sub in ww2. It was pretty interesting
Ialwayslookhungover
He stole that from an episode of Angel.
pygmypufftrampstamp
commented that, then saw your comment. Bitch.
Ialwayslookhungover
OsmarVelazquez
Haha you beat me by like 2 hours! Excellent episode!
DrClaww
"spike...you're a nazi?!"....Spike: "i ate one and took his jacket"
josswhedon9000
You beat me to it too. Wonder what more they could do in a movie with that concept, after what angel achieved in an episode.
pilomotor
Is it a crew of humans who have to deal with an infestation of vampires? Or is the submarine crewed entirely by vampires?
Melanonymous
They did that on angel
pygmypufftrampstamp
wasn't that the plot of an episode of Angel?
PoorSucker
Are we going to talk about mummies on trains?
HeyItsFen
I know it's you S.A. Sidor, you delightfully crazy bastard
ruub1
Did u mean Yummy Mummies Get Trained Part 2
mercyPandaRunner
In a ca. 1900 setting. In the Orient Express. Count me in!!
HeyItsFen
this book already exists and it also has vampires: Fury of the Tomb by S.A. Sidor
mercyPandaRunner
Oh nice! Thanks kind Stranger!
ZiggyMundo
What about ghosts on trucks?
Sauroctonus
What about mummies in a care home?
BurberryBlessings
Bruce Campbell already made that one, staring as an old Elvis Presley in Bubba Ho-Tep.
Sauroctonus
That's what I'm talking about.
Usedtobeabear
Werewolves in a blimp?
PrincePiggo
Well there was THIS - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068713/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_54 which comes pretty close...
DVSBSTrD
My first thought as well.
OmgOptimized
I think when people say that it's unrealistic in those situations, it's really that they don't find it convincing within that fantasy world.
Treblaine
I think the term for this is Magic Realism, how one or a few elements that are otherwise impossible doesn't throw all logic out the window.
ovmi
Yeah, just because I'm reading about Frodo doesn't mean it's okay to add lasers, talking pitbulls, and Zeus coming in with a steel chair.
MickeyCallahan
Another fantastic elevator pitch.
Treblaine
"And Frodo wanted to be back in The Shire so he made the biggest jump and woosh he was back in The Shire. Fuck tension. Story over."
Upvotes4allz
Angel already did this lol
heteroscedastic
There's an entire genre of Japanese literature with titles like this.
MstrES
Its like, the thing, in antartica
Treblaine
Except for that was quite realistic outside the distinct fantasy element of the alien.
Fauxcused
Werewolves on the Dark Side of the Moon
PrincePiggo
You haven't thought that one through have you? ;)
Fauxcused
moment of inspiration....
horriblyremarkable
Angel Season 5 Episode 13 „why we fight“.
TheobromineAddict
Surprisingly good:
DoakMD
To be fair you can have a fantastical subject presented in a realistic setting. If the submarine suddenly flew that would be unrealistic.
SithElephant
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/528363.Vorpal_Blade
Algebraic2218
From a submariner. There is no chaplain, we are on a boat of hell. Never once saw a uv light unless you count fluorescent bulbs.
Algebraic2218
Also after an underway we look and feel like vampires, so yeah. Good story, would watch.
freshbetty
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter ftw
MoonPieTown
"Fevre Dream" is a book about vampires on river steamboats. (Written by George R.R. Martin)
unfriendlybastard
As a +20 year US Submarine Service vet I keep rolling this idea in my head. Mostly with a lot of Nos. But there are some amusing ideas.
MrListerTheFirst
Ah yes. There was also a Doctor Who episode called Dinosaurs on a Spaceship.
RatsLiveOnNoEvilStar
And an episode of Star Trek voyager
notAnotherAccountName
There’s also one about a Martian in a submarine
SwiftModestProposal
Don't forget they also had 18th century pirates on a spaceship
wholady
WhoLady approves of your comment. +1
JanglesPrime
My roommate bases all of Doctor Who on this one episode.
FrankTheThunderbird
What was it about?
DonnaNobleInTheLibrary
Space-faring lizard men.
VainyBangStick
Dinosaurs mostly.
alltheLalz
Really? What was the episode about?
oldscrotumthewrinkledretainer
About 45 minutes
FetaForMoses
Vampires on a submarine
alltheLalz
Ah, thanks dude.
MrListerTheFirst
Spaceship with dinosaurs roaming free on board is going to crash on Earth and the military wants to blow it up. Doctor saves the day.
ralph2sam
Spaceship and dinosaurs, etc owned by Argus Filch.
CFB201
So the doctor gets Inspector Lestrade, Arthur Weasley, and Cleopatra to help.
MrListerTheFirst
And not to forget Rip Hunter, the Time Master!
Methadones
Isnt that how 30 Days of Night started?
Alecchi
.
daguq
Such a great title and idea for a story.
bitemark
It was literally an episode of Angel. It took place during WWII
bumCandle
True and it was a great episode
bitemark
"oh I'm not a Nazi, but I did eat one"
sogermanithurts
awesom movie but the end is so depressing
EmeraldLight
Don't watch the end of the second one
Anonypuss
*Don't watch the second one
DVSBSTrD
Oops, your heat lamp uses the wrong type of light. Guess you all have to die anyway.
Metallica93
No. It is, however, one of the best portrayals of vampires I have ever seen. The lore is great.
darkklad2000
yes and the sequel doesn't exist.
jumpbus360
It does not. The end.
KingsOfWinter
no joke didn't know there was one and am now glad that I've never seen it
PrincessPicklebricks
Hands down my favorite vampire movie.
Jordinatinglybeautiful
It’s awesome innit. Haven’t read it but apparently the story continues...
bookslap
It does. I believe it follows the lone survivor back in the lower US as she pulls back the curtain on vampires or something.
thisgoesto11
I tried to watch the sequel and couldn’t. It was bad.
Methadones
The movie seemed to hint they came out of a ship that beached in the ice. Am I wrong?
DynamaxAgumon
That's also how Dracula gets to England
aifeloadawildmoss
I hiiiighly recommend the graphic novels the art is amazing and the backstory is all there
Zadwanaa
I think you're right, but not on a sub.. but, to make sure, ill rewatch it tomorrow cause i thoroughly enjoyed it
Reklamfox
Oh man, I havent watched that movie in years! I think I'll also join ya'll in spirit for a Valentines vampire movie night
NinjaGrizzlyBear
I'll join you but not in person...that movie is fucking great, I've probably watched it 100 times
TheFastpaws
I built the print up working at a theatre. It was my first successful one. Watched it with other managers chilling.
Sjama
Unrealistic fiction: he was 10* as strong as as an average man. He exploded mount Everest only with a punch. Unrealistic in fiction means...
Treblaine
AKA disappointed the book wasn't more in the style of: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_realism
Iwannaseeit
Pretty much sounds like a vampire would win within 10 minutes of them being trapped on the sub with him, idk how it'd be a whole book
Sjama
what's happening is unrealistic with the background/lore provided. Bad storytelling or bad writing.
BenjaminPannell
Thanks. It always irritates me when people fall back on that dumb, "But it's fantasy" argument.
DireSickFish
Yup. Just because your story has fantastical elements. Doesn't mean you can ignore causality.
Nobody7713
Exactly. As long as a setting's rules are consistent within itself, that's what matters.
SithElephant
I'd be down for the premise, but many good sounding premises are let down by unrealistic execution. No, you did not walk for 20 minutes
SithElephant
through a city with a population of 500.
Assassine
It takes roughly 20 minutes to cross my village with a population of 200.
SithElephant
Yes, this was described like a walled city with bustling districts.
Assassine
ah, fair enough
SithElephant
Innumerate authors are unfortunately common.
goudist
Pretty ideal environment for a vampire. No sun, uv lamps might be a problem, limited wood but the chaplain could make holy water, and most
bolobass
So as a vampire, I'd only have to be the chaplain and sabotage the garlic supply in the galley?
matthiasfactor
I’ve never liked the idea of UV lights in vamp lore, especially if they’re supposed to be supernatural in origin. Seems disingenuous.
ZackWester
Im not sure if a UV light would outright kill them but I can at least see vampire getting hurt by it not like you putting your hand on a hot
ZackWester
stove but more like if you getting hit by static electricity or something.
RideTheStimutacs
You could also do werewolves orbiting the moon in a space station that always faces the full side. Only an eclipse can stop them.
PhantomPanis
We don’t normally have chaplains onboard subs my man.
minant
Plus they don't need oxygen, so you don't need to store any for them, and they're perfect divers.
swordsnguns
But do currents count as running water?
brotherbear32
As a submariner, no UV lamps or chaplain is on board. It's the perfect vamp environment.
ButterfaceTaintClown
why would you have UV lights on a submarine? oh yeah, so you could see the seamen.
biggerhammertx
They recycle much of the air aboard a submarine just like a spaceship. UV Sterilization in the HVAC is a good thing (for people).
ratfaceddog
And also they inject it to cure COVID.
FrogBotherer
Perhaps its a submarine owned and crewed by vampires to escape persecution!
davebeastly
That was my understanding. I didnt see it as a snakes on a plane situation where the vampires are invasive. I saw it as their submarine.
Circosys
We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine
StalinsCousin
I always seem to forget that song exists
SmoogleGot
Shame on you then
magicronin
My sub never had a chaplain stationed aboard. Waste of food and space. Even more ideal for a vampire
FloodingWaters
Can chaplins make holy ice/snow? Could they fight vamps with holy snowballs?
TheRealPumpkinQueen
The real questions
FloodingWaters
A blessed icicle staked through the heart would kill a vamp, i think.
IMakeArtAndStuff
Or, do holy water icicles work like wooden stakes?
FloodingWaters
I woukdbsay so, if i was the author.
Pentacus
That depends if holy energy can withstand state changes, holy steam or holy plasma could be pretty good weapons
TheRealPumpkinQueen
I once had to ask whether or not it had to be sunlight, or if it just had to be the same wavelength. Hello, HMI light
FloodingWaters
Holy particle beam
IMakeArtAndStuff
Holy particle beam, batman
goudist
galleys have access to garlic.
Shellbacksquid
Not to burst your bubble, but we didn't have a Chaplain on my boat. Lots of prayers to not fuck up though.
Treblaine
I thought Vampires were trying to avoid garlic?
goudist
Yes and holy water. I listed some advantages BUT a couple negatives.
yourlocaleconomicsnerd
Probably no silver, though.
Treblaine
Oh I assumed the submarine was run BY the vampires. Like there's a vampire captain and they sail round the world on vampire adventures.
Treblaine
You know what, that's such a better idea, I'm running with it.
gtollie
How does it start? Captain, you need to see this .. We found a locked coffin in one of the missile silos
HighImpactSexualViolence
Captain: "Cool. Launch it out the torpedo tubes and see if you can hit that whale."
iDontKnowAllYourSecrets
Sub Vamps 2: Killer Whales