dllhell
117125
1704
59
#early_science #Discovery #Milk #Cow #Paleo_diet
Jul 14, 2017 6:27 AM
dllhell
117125
1704
59
#early_science #Discovery #Milk #Cow #Paleo_diet
bestdamnusername
Good thing it wasn't a bull.
ohshitIcantfindmyball
those are called milk dicks right?
themilklord
With out this guy I wouldn't exist
trigonman3
The really hard part was hacking DNA to remove the lactose-intolerance.
imayormaynotbegroot
For everything we have deemed deadly, at least one person has died from. Probably more like 1000 because information didn't travel well then
DomCarIndustries
Sure this is true. But lets talk about the ballsy motherfucker that ate the churned mold on top of a milk cask
unpunnyfuns
He's just nervous because his first attempt only had one udder.
Makinbrosmadonimgurandnotgivingafuck
"LOL" - chicken eggs
RoTaLuMe
First guy to discover bee honey: "I know these fuckers are hiding something!"
just4thelolz
Animals steal honey. The "first guy" probably wasn't really a "guy" yet. More like a thieving little rodent.
ohshitIcantfindmyball
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4tzY9ixwlQ
ticktockbent
He later discovered, through the scientific process, that while cow's milk was delicious bull milk was more filling
QuiteADapperAsshole
https://imgur.com/C0MYp
CoolSnackChris
It has horns so its a male and wouldn't have teats or milk.
GayPeacock
Longhorn cows have horns. http://www.texaslonghorn.com/clones/S_1155.jpg
IncitatusForConsul
Cows of either sex can have horns
graboids
"Horns are not gender-specific in cattle but occur in both genders in breeds where they occur." https://www.quora.com/Do-cows-have-horns
0x1CEB00DA
and they say "vegans are weird" ...
thenameisnottaken
Thanks to his fetish we get comedy gold like this tho:
TheGame21x
No way that's an accident. Douchebags invented this as a "prank" where they'd smash milk containers on the floor. They called it "galloning"
DiscountedOreo
Now make the guy a Taliban, and the cow a goat.
dj505
Is that floor covered in water? Can't tell
boogertown
bachterman
falling with milk jugs?
MandaloreIncognito
https://imgur.com/hYun4Tj.jpg
SaltyInternetPirate
I'm more curious how did people learn to make flour and bread, when during none of the intermediate steps do you have anything edible.
FyreCrawtch
Bread was the result of beer being left in the sun to forment and the probably accidentally dumped in some flour. Ta-da! Bread.
AccountCreatedToUpdogVotes
They probably saw cows basing bread first.
DefinitelyNotMadeOfBees
Free-basing*
AccountCreatedToUpdogVotes
Making*
gobthealpaca
Are you sure you didn't mean baking?
AccountCreatedToUpdogVotes
Shit, that's better.
Jeromebaritone
Is no one going to point out that cow has horns... so it shouldn't have an udder?
mmmmarygray
Male and female cattle both have horns in most species, they are often removed at birth on dairy cows for saftey reasons
trytoburymeimseedling
Thanks I was wondering the same thing
IncitatusForConsul
Or they can be bred without them, but yes, this
trumpypumpyinyourrumpy
Babies drink milk, why shouldn't I?
WhiteTrashTiger
Babies just do it to suck on titties
Coolbacca
Or (if you are drunk) babies crap their pants and throw up all over people....
YouWillNotLikeThis
Because some idiot with no understanding of human adaptation to achieving nutrients says so!
Fezkid
cliojayne
I almost jumped on the -1 bandwagon but then I read your statement 3 more times. Yes. That is an appropriate /s response.
missmarymxk
Actually the first use of animal milk was probably for babies whose mothers didn't have enough milk for them
lilbunnyfuufuu1337
Just milk a human instead.
doctorbees
They probably would give the baby to another nursing mom first, if possible. But yes.
ZamboTheGr8
SayWhatYouMeanMeanWhatYouSay
That actually makes a lot of sense. Neat.
StarPal
Kizoru
Thank you for this image
BenShapiroForPresident
That's a bull...
NiceGreenArrows
No, it clearly has udders...
CoolSnackChris
because the artist drew them?
CoolSnackChris
Not sure why you were downvoted as only male bovines have horns and that means no udders or milk.
DefinitelyNotMadeOfBees
Not true. Most cows have horns, though they're often removed for safety.
cinemeasctha
Going to get some sort of white stuff. Maybe not what they want though
thisisjunk
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/why-do-some-females-have-horns-17847645/
IncitatusForConsul
Cows of either sex can have horns
madsmartinmadsen
But it have an utter, assuming it is the same animal on all the pictures, I have seen many cows with horns but never a bull with utters, 1/2
madsmartinmadsen
so enlighten me in why it is a bull please? I might be missing something more than the skill of writing English properly :-)) 2/2
NESwasBest
I think he meant because it has horns in the first frame that it shouldn't have utters in the 3rd.
IncitatusForConsul
Cows of either sex can have horns
NESwasBest
I know but that why the guy said it
rocketdonkey
Think about the first time someone looked at a lobster and said: I bet that scaly motherfucker is delicious
CatsIsTheAnswer
Probably more like "I'll be dead in two days if I don't eat something, what's the worse that can happen?"
TheShadowsLengthen
Lobsters were a poor mans meal initially. They probably didn't have much other choice.
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
They also washed up on beaches by the ton, so again not much pioneering required.
halborski
Yes, let's eat this underwater bug.
ZamboTheGr8
Or shrooms. Who was the first person to be hungry enough to eat something growing on cow shit.
ForgotMyOtherAcct
Actually they looked at lobsters like they did at bugs. It was illegal for a while to feed more than a couple of lobsters a week to
ForgotMyOtherAcct
Indentured servants in New England, because they wanted higher quality food.
BojanglesTheFlyingCar
What a magnificent creature. I wonder what it tastes like
mritty
Lobsters are the cockroaches of the ocean. They were trash food that only poor people ate. I don't know how they became a delicacy.
DefinitelyNotMadeOfBees
Maine needed an economy.
mostlyjustheretoupvotefunnycomments
Someone dipped them in butter
MooseCannon
Also, they've been overfished to a point where they're becoming commoditized
VictoryWine
Chicken became abundant and cheap, and people moving more inland jacked transportation costs up.
PastaPriest
Lobsters don't have scales.
MaurogDark
They have an exoscaleton.
BornToBeAwesome
I read it as "scary" before reading your comment
CrashMars
Check if you're japanese
NiceGreenArrows
This is a classic joke. That said, watching baby calves makes this a super obvious discovery. "What's good to eat? I dunno, what they eat?"
NotInClass
However it was likely first done to goats in the Middle East. Aka the cradle of civilization
Nomtombouts
I've got nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?
buenothebear
Also I don't think a caveman would give a fuck what other people think
Chaple
Same with snakes and the "I'll eat the next thing to come out of that chicken's butt" joke.
GeneCode
Luckily they watched calves and not kitten.
devasto
Ok, then who said "I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of that chicken's ass"?
NiceGreenArrows
"I want to eat chicken, but I can't eat the one making more chicken...ok, the babies make good nuggets, but how about even EARLIER?"
NiceGreenArrows
(that, or copying various egg eating animals)
madsmartinmadsen
yes, I was thinking that too, the thought cant be that far of a jump given both human babies and calves suckle.
stupidquestionguy
Suckle
valinnut
that makes it probable that some moment in time, somone tried to eat grass
longshorttermmemorynetwork
North Koreans do from time to time, I'm told.
jzim16mer
Can confirm I have eaten grass
UsuallySpecial
It's the steps from that to bread that boggles me
Imhereforthelurking
Grind grains for easier carry, figure water to say a paste, toss on a hot stone. Voila, flatbread.
NiceGreenArrows
Vegans.
Kiore
Hey, I did as a little kid.
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED
Yeah, but my dad would always have me suckle on his snake instead of letting my use my moms tit. Talk about awkward when I milked a cop dog
MrSaturday
You need to sit down and have some storytime princess.
damndat
What
Woodiey
It's the nutter who worked out cheese I want to talk to.
Ryanator50
or blue cheese, for that matter.
RepostFromLastWeek
Its probably extension of yogurt and the like. They used animal stomachs to store milk and the bacteria, movement and heat interacted.
muchadoaboutmuffin
There's actually a lot of research on that! Its hypothesized that it was an accident stemming from milk kept in a container made from 1/
muchadoaboutmuffin
A stomach of an animal (a natural source of rennet), a warm day, and a long ride. the resulting mixture had a lot less lactose which made 2/
muchadoaboutmuffin
It possible for the mostly-lactose-intolerant population to get to the nutrients in milk that they weren't able to before. Wasn't long 3/
muchadoaboutmuffin
Til it was done on purpose! Very similar to yogurt I believe..there was an NPR's TheSalt article on it at some point, they do good food news
MrNoodlemansbrother
And who the hell came up with COTTAGE cheese?
PorneliusHubertII
It is sour cream that gets me.
Primaltiguere
Someone rented a cottage and loaded it with milk. That's how it got the name.
AlkeneThiol
I want to believe.
StaalTheNotQuiteSoUndefeatedAnymoreButNevermind
I'd wager it was an accident. And they were hungry.
graboids
iirc it was. People used to use calf stomachs to carry liquids, like milk. Calves have rennet in their stomachs, which is an essential 1/2
graboids
ingredient of cheese. One hot day carrying milk in a calf stomach and voilá, world's first cheese. This is apocryphal, but probable. 2/2
AccountCreatedToUpdogVotes
Same with alcohol, probably
alturia00
Fun fact, some rotting fruit has alcohol in the centre and monkeys have been known go for the alcoholic fruit specifically.
TheDino
Only the monkeys that need AA.
supersmashsisters
My ponies used to do that! We had to put fence around the trees and they broke it to get to the rotten fruit