iloveknives
91126
2435
34
Via Shit London (literally!) On FB.
Aug 26, 2020 9:40 AM
iloveknives
91126
2435
34
Via Shit London (literally!) On FB.
metalmoco
That’s MFD! (Malicious Fecal Distribution) Heard the term on the news in Albuquerque
Jaqdakloun
People can be shitting sometimes.
gudkrish1337
How did they know it was a girl ?
Jamnew60
How sad is it that you would have to leave a sign like this for an adult .
RyanHaynes
I guess you could say she... had the runs
l009
It's Croydon, wouldn't expect any difference.
isitmyturn
Small patch of grass in Hampstead. Sign: "please do not let your dog make a mess here. This includes the lady with the dalmatian."
drunkbs
gibsonbenusarmy
She obviously has the runs...
Khoshteep
Feminine poop?
fencer1964
Automatic camera and an Only Fans account. Boom, instant money.
Frothington
The Rise of the Poo Joggers.
mysobriquet
Must be an shitty run
Dexteroakley5399
Yes literally!
sluggingsausages
Shit post
EvilWaffle
Wow. We live in a world where we srsly have to put up a sign to tell people not to shit in public. I cant even
Jisp
No shit. I can't believe some people...
CrossBetween
Jill The Ripper
TheyCallMeRoy
Rippin fat loafs inna woods
EruditeLeanings
A bad day she's Jill The Dripper
Dexteroakley5399
Jill the crapper
4merGOP
No excuse, but she might possibly have Crone's disease and would prefer pooping at home if she had control over her bowels.
Theonewiththesandwich
A literal shit post
A1V1
Again, nothing about Lewis being seen at that spot.
BeanMugged
Phantom Shittress
XANDERcylinderPANTS
Had a phantom pooper in high school. Came in to the gym one morning and right in the middle of the court, pile o’shit. He had struck again
BannedB4
https://static3.therichestimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Mikael-Ekvall1.jpg
pmjensen22
https://gawker.com/what-happened-to-the-runner-who-shit-himself-during-a-h-1681442684
Hiyeeee
Listen, I get it. The stair master always made me need to poop desperately within 5 minutes. Know your body, map out toilets if needed.
PuppyDontCare
Also she could've just bring a bag with her like any dog owner and throw it in the trash.
Hiyeeee
That would probably mean acknowledging this embarassing behavior.
youcancallmesusanifitmakesyouhappy
Because dropping trou and popping a squat in public isn’t acknowledgement enough lol
skinny87
What park in Croydon? Asking for a friend...
everbanega
Park Hill you reckon?
cptmaj
Tell your friend we are perverts.
skinny87
assmaster4000
Lloyd park, next to the junkies.
skinny87
commentisrelevant
I once stayed overnight in my car in croyden once. In the morning I found 3 burnt out cars within 100m, same car park. fuck that place.
SinisterBillMurray
@1whatisahandle I think they're onto you
texabilly71
GnomeDeGuerre
*KLONK* - .......... DAMMIT Marge, again?
AlkeneThiol
Hey man. I eat a lot of veggies. And sometimes a poop knife would be really useful
texabilly71
AlkeneThiol
Yeah i eat big meals because I try to do IF. And so ill eat like a pound of spinch at a time (it shrinks a lot when you cook it). So... yeah
ShowMeYourButtonhole
THE MAD POOPAH!!
EthicalCephalopod
+1 hahahahah
ShibesKeanu
Or how about... The Butt-ler!
meadmaker
DJ horn sounds, dabs...
YouHaveNoodsAndIHaveAnInbox
Ahh? The BUTT-lah!
JumoMan
I wish they didn't take it off of Netflix:(
ddcrowFlyer
Hulu son
YouHaveNoodsAndIHaveAnInbox
OooOoh Hulu san
JumoMan
ShibesKeanu
You got a point though, Netflix circa 2013-14 was the golden age for cheap and comprehensive streaming when they were the only show in town.
marthafarquar
1. Get a wildlife camera for less than $50 2. ? 3. Profit
PicassoCT
2. Upload to pornsites
GuyoHadden
You got a liocence for that camera mate?
DasPumpenStrasse
What camera mate?
Studoku
Alternatively, get some snakes.
LicensedAdHominem
2. Post the picture on this sign instead of the text
LeroyShabazAli
Metalgearslade
I think we all.know why number 2 means in this context.
TakeTheStairs
step 4. jail time
LiarLiarPantsUntier
pareidoliaperson
daimonysos
I get the reference xD
MadeYouLookAgain
Help a brother out?
Promisedlandcharlie
Southpark, underwear gnomes
TaylorGangMorgan
I'd assume it wouldn't be illegal since you shouldn't assume privacy in a public place?
TuckerCarlsonWarnedYouTheredBeGirlsLikeMe
That would be my defense.
ochermes28
Since this behavior would constitute a misdemeanor in the USA, I’m assuming it would be legal if the footage was given to the cops.
daromander
No, it's the intent that matters. Same reason why you can't take upskirt photos on a public bus
ShellPhish
Yenaldooshi
Well there go my plans for the weekend. /s
alitquar
There was a case in TX where a guy was taking photos of HS cheerleaders and using telephoto lenses to get crotch, butt, and boob shots. 1/2
alitquar
2/3 He was selling the videos on the internet. Parents found out, took him to court. Judge ruled he’d done nothing illegal.
alitquar
3/3 not sure if the law has changed—this was probably late 90s or early 2000s.
absoliutenus
#2 , pornsite
CaverExtrordinaire
I suppose you're less likely to get charged than with direct blackmail
Snooj
Is it still blackmail if you don't ask for anything in return?
LiarLiarPantsUntier
Blur the face like japs blur vaginas; no lawsuit.
FearlessFerret
People don't really say "japs" anymore, but whatever
LiarLiarPantsUntier
I am not ‘people’. I’m a brain.
BigBeeOhBee
You're absolutely correct. Not sure why that statement made me laugh though.
tymonaSmasher
It is just a contraction like Brit or Aussie?
bumhand
How do people do that habitually? Do they wipe with leaves? Take tp on a run?
xcopperx
Spread the cheeks and since running may upset your stomach maybe itll squirt out and leave your cheeks partially clean.
somedayiwillberelevantasfuck
Stray cats or possum.
BikerRay
Or poison ivy.
Ryebread91
Run poops are a real thing... Doesn't excuse her behavior at all.
DanCutter
High-fiber diet, regular exercise, freshly waxed butthole... clean as a whistle.
Goochlicker22
Bro use your two socks
MAN9000
Leaves can be used for TP. Maybe she's into survival and it's part of her routine for escaping zombies.
Nuhlinga
A shitty asscrack has less friction allowing the legs to move faster
Procrastinatress
They come back from their run with only one sock ?
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Spread their cheeks and pop a squat. Poor diet resulting in hard, pellet like bowel movements may help
TheRobbieB
I run because my health is important to me. I eat like shit because my mid-run poop is also important to me.
MatrixCreatrix
Hope she doesn't do lunges at the end of her run.
MobiusAzarath
If you eat a ton of fiber, I doubt you need to wipe.
pdrroadkill
It's called 'runners trots' and happens due to the bouncing of your stomach during a run. And yes, most runners will leave themselves dirty
HarmlessPervert
Reason No. 137 why I don't run...
Omnipotence0
If you only ate kale and maple leaves like a true runner you would shit in little balls like rabbits do, eliminating the need for wiping.
MVPHingleMcCringleBerry
You can not wipe. Use a leaf. Or use your finger then wipe that on grass/leaves or whatever. Just wash your hands as soon as possible
MVPHingleMcCringleBerry
You can not wipe as in that’s a option. Don’t wipe and keep running. Hopefully it’s not the kind that just smears
brusilov
Use your finger? What? Like in and out?
MVPHingleMcCringleBerry
https://youtu.be/JofDuTmFpL8
LiamRobertsonjr
Vaselines her ass up and it just doesn't stick. Her legs don't chaff either.
SoSorryNotSorry
You’ve definitely done this before
LiamRobertsonjr
Just an observation I made while treating a hemorrhoid. "Huh I don't think I even needed to wipe" prep h is mostly vaseline.
DickDastardly404
That honestly seems like it would work... why do you know that?
LiamRobertsonjr
Just an observation I made while treating a hemorrhoid. "Huh I don't think I even needed to wipe" prep h is mostly vaseline.
DickDastardly404
Truly a frontiersman
TimmyNG
Fortunately I wasn't afflicted with mid-run poops, but a guy on my team was. He'd bring a wad of TP and regularly stop midway through runs
lampinamothpit
This only happened to me once, miles from a toilet; fortunately I was in an isolated part of the woods. Shit happens. (I’ll see myself out)
CorgiMcFluffers
Man what a crappy thing to happen.
RemuZZZ
yep. Baby wipes work well.
seqouia
Runners diarrhea is a thing! There's dozens of us!
SullivansMuff
I definitely dealt with this when I was running competitively. Race day was always the worst. Anything you found to help with it?
Soberyn
Sounds like it was caused by nerves from the race? I used to get the "nervous poops"
SullivansMuff
There was definitely a psychological aspect, but it happened pretty much every day. Just worse on race days
seqouia
I do ultra marathons and my best advice is to experiment with food. I find processed, dense food like Clif bars generally work well
basildane
There was a woman to shit in my yard every day for 5 years. It took 3 police visits and threats of jail to finally get her to stop.
ddkong86
Lindsay Lohan? Probably fermalizing the lawn
zapbranagan
Mental
Leeloothedog
frozen paintball to the browneye.
kellzkellzhellzbellz
What?? Did she dislike you? That's crazy.
RoutemasterFlash
Maybe she liked him and this was her way of showing that?
basildane
It turns out she was the newspaper delivery person. Our yard was "convenient". She does not know me.
Mattehoernchen
Newspaper delivery with a little extra.
basildane
I have video evidence, tag number, everything. She even admitted it to police and couldn't care less, said it was her "right".
SuperJusticeWarrior69
I would follow her home, see where she lives and just do something ten times worse, like order a truck load of chicken manure or something
Monka42
Wtf? It's my right to spray you with a hose then. Free bidet mother fucker.
AoxomoxoA35
I would have turned the hose on her and if that didn't stop it, then escalate to paintball gun.
zapbranagan
Follow her home and commence operation shit on her porch daily.
pigsearsandtwirlytails
That's completely nuts, why did she think it was her right?
PicassoCT
She got advice on a imageboard, to make a hole in the floor and shit on her downstair neighbous?
RaisinZetaJones
Can we get more of this story? Because that's completely nuts.
RocknRootRanchcuzallwegotisrocksandrootsandafewtrees
.
kittykat
.
basildane
One day my dog ate it. Then I lost it and told the cops you better stop this or we are going to have violence.
AJediInTraining
That is one of the most bizarre things I have heard in a while.
MatrixCreatrix
Seriously. What the fuck?
Thisismyusernamenotyoursitsmine
Wait.. everyday? 5 YEARS? Was she your neighbor or did she GO to your house just for that?!?! I’m so confused
basildane
Correction, an average of 3 times a week, for 5 solid years. I have written documentation, even a cease and desist letter to her employer.
BanadecCamberbootch
That story got wilder and wilder every time.
JiffyGee
Thats bonkers. She’s littering for one. Another she is leaving biohazardous waste in your yard. Third that’s indecent exposure, what if...
JiffyGee
kids saw? Then they’d be considered a pedophile. I’d have been asking these questions to the police then ask to have their supervisor....
PickleDemon5
Just hazarding a guess but I'm gonna go with, she straight up just leaves her arse caked in shite.
HerrBisch
CHUNKYPOPS
Excellent delivery
AnApologeticCanadian
GyprockGypsy
Balling like its 1389.
assmaster4000
Whit a fuckin' weapon!
PicassoCT
Friction burned Ceramics are a very good material as long as they are not experience shocks
IDontLoveJesusButDoItAnyway
maybe she eats so much fibre that she ghosts every poop
TuckerCarlsonWarnedYouTheredBeGirlsLikeMe
How do you do that while jogging?
BonkyMcSignFace
Because of this, the practice has been banned in competitive running since 1997, and the Olympics banned it in 2016
BonkyMcSignFace
The poo lubricates the friction between the cheeks, as well as between the inner thighs. This allows for speed gains and less chafing. 1/2
PicassoCT
It also leads to a higher motivation (often referenced as runners tight) when near crowds..
BonkyMcSignFace
How did you become so wise in the ways of science, fellow scientist?
bumhand
What an interesting person. Is it a test? Does she love laundry?
FallingStar7669
Maybe it helps lube her thighs and prevents chafing.
FrumpyCrust
She just lets her hips slide a little freer
phatblaster5000
Thanks I hate this
Baalzak
Fluckers
I'm pretty sure that it's just the motion of running that's increased bowel motility. Happened to a female running the London marathon a few
gvair
As a runner who had to go a few times during runs I can relate. The activity seems yo stimulate my bowels.
Fluckers
Years ago. Might have been Sally gunnell. She hid in a tunnel to avoid the TV cameras. As they say, shit happens!