My wife thinks she caught me trying to commit suicide

Dec 19, 2016 9:50 PM

ShihtzuOwner

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I pulled into the garage after driving home from work and began answering work emails and some texts. I looked over and saw my wife break down crying in the doorway to the house. I then realized I had the car still running and the garage door shut. It didn't help that I was listening the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls at full blast.

"work emails" you say when in reality you were on here typing "please kill me, Pete"

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't get the .gif's relation

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Damn dude, be careful next time

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You'd be listening to Hurt, doesn't matter which version.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

sublime gif choice.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Call 1-800-273-8255 for the suicide prevention lifeline

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I thought your wife thinks she caught you trying to commit suicide because you were listening to Rebecca Black - Friday

9 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

wrong song m8

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 8

Is the braces gift from Rebecca Black vid?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

GOO GOO DOLLS. BUFFALO REPRESENT

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

She didn't even come over to check?

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

She checked on the dogs to make sure they had food first while I opened the garage door to fan out all the death

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

You're saying she saw you in the act of killing yourself (she thought), and instead of stopping it, she went and fed the dogs? What?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

She'll believe you if you survive the winter, I guess.

9 years ago | Likes 96 Dislikes 0

We better hug to stay warm. Winter is coming in 2 days!

9 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 2

just explain to her "if i was going to kill myself, why would i have gone to work today?" then show her the email sent times and a dick pic

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

v

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

When did they make a live action Beavis & Butthead?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well that's the first Money Pit gif I've seen.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Lucky she caught you. You would be 4 emails in and you would be falling asleep.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

LMFAO This is too funny. was your car a hybrid?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Ford Escape 07

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Most cars now a day don't produce what is needed to kill you doing that

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 9

It's less than it used to be, but even a brand new car will put out enough to set off a CO detector in a garage in about 15 seconds.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

...Exhaust?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

A guy on Oregon dies the other day while sleeping in his running car. Snow built up and the fumes killed him

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Not the fumes, the Taco Bell Beefy Burrito Flatulence.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It's less than it used to be, but even a brand new car will put out enough to set off a CO detector in a garage in about 15 seconds.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

AND I DUN WAN DA WOLLL TO SEAAAAMMEEE. CAS I DUNNO TINKE DAT DEY UNDASTANNNN. ERRRYTHING MENTA BE BROKEN I JUS WANT U TO KNO WHO I AM

9 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 2

This is beautiful

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

AND I'D GIV UP FOREVA TO TOUCH U! CAS I KNO DAT U FEEL MI SUMHOW U'RE THE CLOSEST TO HEVEN DAT I'LL EVR B AND I DUN WAN TO GO HOME RITE NAOW

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

That was a huge song. It was the feature song in the soundtrack of a major motion picture: City of Angels.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

along with Alanis Morrisette's Uninvited!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I almost forgot about that!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

thanks, i didn't know the Goo Goo Dolls

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

you just wanted to use this gif. dont lie

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bro she loves you very much. But why did she imagine you killing yourself. She must be so confused!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's very difficult to commit suicide this way these days because of catalytic converters. http://imgur.com/2BwIFZI

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What does the car running with the garage door shut do

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

Smell bad.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

CO is odorless, which is part of why it is so dangerous. It's the #1 accidental poisoning cause in the developed world.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Knew a guy who killed himself this way, father of 3. it sucked. first time I broke down and cried in a long time

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Kills you. Carbon Monoxide poisoning.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

mustard gas

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Carbon monoxide poisoning

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Kill you after a while

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

I think modern cars are probably safer on this aspect

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't modern catalytic converters prevent this now?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That says something about your wives perspective of you and your life. Why would she think you had any reason to kill yourself?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The Lions are leading the NFC North

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

AND I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME!

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

'CAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT THEY'D UNDERSTAND

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

WHEN EVERYTHING'S MEANT TO BE BROKEN

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW WHO I AM

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Your wife is a girl partying at the prospect of ur demise?

9 years ago | Likes 213 Dislikes 9

All I hear in my head is Bart making the "kicking air" sound in Lisa on ice.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yours isn't?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Did she try to call 911? things that make you go 'hmmm'

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That gif is Hilarious

9 years ago | Likes 63 Dislikes 1

That gif is dangerously white

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 2

So white it burned a cross in my front lawn

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

DAMN

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That would be a textbook definition of dangerously white.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

So white it bought my employer's factory, gutted it, and turned it into lofts

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I don't understand the gif relevance to the story.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 3

I think it's just meant to be something awkward.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I kinda just closed my eyes and selected one.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

If you were really suicidal you'd be listening to "Photograph," by Nickleback. I want to kill myself every time it comes on.

9 years ago | Likes 1690 Dislikes 29

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Oct 21, 2024 11:33 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

What? Didn't get enough downvotes last time?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Lolz. But i think if she caught him listening to creed - one last breath, she believe it

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're confusing one song with the entire awful discography again. Don't blame you though, all sounds the same. Not sorry - Canada.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Or any song by Nickelback.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 4

You'd be listening to nickleback* there I fixed all his songs make me want to die

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is how I feel about all Imagine Dragons songs. Made me a little sick just typing the name.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 7

LOOK AT THIS GRAAAAPH. https://youtu.be/nPMsn50Ok7I

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ha!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where the fuck are you listening to music where Photograph by Nickelback would come on? Certainly not on any radio station in 2016.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 4

That's weird, every time I hear that song I want to kill Nickleback.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Radiohead-Videotape

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Aren't those the lyrics?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't know... I'd like to hear something pleasant during my last minutes on earth

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

I dunno man, every time I do it makes me laugh

9 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 1

NO, we are not doing this

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 4

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I want to kill myself anytime i hear their music :^)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

Everyone on the internet is so critical of them. Really they are not that bad. Why so much hate? Is it because it is popular to hate then?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Song still gets to me. Never listen to that again. Good song though

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Youtube look at this giraffe, it's so great you won't mind anymore

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Me too but only because I want it to end, not my life. Let's kill nickel back instead as to prevent these situations

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

This comment was so satisfying to me. I feel complete now.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How do you listen to a photograph?

9 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 1

Is it because the song is sad or because it's Nickelback?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Exactly

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Asleep by the Smiths is a good one to off yourself to.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Not me. I would be listening to any song that I enjoy. Nobody's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship comes to mind.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Say Benedict Cumberbatch to the tune of Photograph.

9 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

I just did it out loud in public...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

This...this is good.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

MRW I see anyone from Nickleback

9 years ago | Likes 314 Dislikes 5

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I mean, Is hug Chad if I ever met him. He's a cool guy. Fucks Avril Lavigne.

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 4

Lol Ralph wasn't scripted to hug Tom in this scene so the awkwardness is too real

9 years ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 0

I would feel awkward if it were unexpected. But I won't lie and say I wouldn't want another hug from Mr. Fiennes.

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Hell I'd welcome a hug from anyone at this point haha

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Plot twist OP was actually trying to kill him self now just making this post to throw off the wife..

9 years ago | Likes 2514 Dislikes 6

She fat right?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 4

Yep.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

shhhhhhhhh you're ruining his plan

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 1

Love that Gif

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Isn't this how the Jump to Conclusions Mat was invented?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Plot twist the wife's crying because he didn't do it.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You're username plus your comment is spot fucking on.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

*not you're, your

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Think so

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Plot Twist: His wife posted this to create an alibi for the police. So long OP

9 years ago | Likes 125 Dislikes 0

Op would be the wife then.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Not if he has it set to remember credentials. Dun dun duuuuuun.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I like this more than mine

9 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

How do we know they both don't have the same plan. Him in a coffin, but don't know about each other's plan?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh man... this is getting so twisty that M. Night Shyamalan needs to get a script going for this bitch. All they need is solid back stories

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The holidays are rough

9 years ago | Likes 1091 Dislikes 4

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Dec 20, 2016 4:17 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

WHat did it say?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Do it then.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Amen

9 years ago | Likes 63 Dislikes 0

Put some bleach in that eggnog, really loosens the family up

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Apply lube

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

@OP, you about to get the Darwin award. No offense, glad you're alright

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Is there room in the passenger seat?

9 years ago | Likes 91 Dislikes 0

Dibs on right side of backseat!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Dibs on the trunk.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Is it an average sized car? Is +1 fitting? That would be nice!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Last year I'd have asked for a ride with yal. I'll leave the spot open for someone more deserving this year.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Boom! Right here on the rebound

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

glad to know you are still with us, stick in there!

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

not in the garage though

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0