rWitLord
87665
2049
46
Jan 26, 2024 7:13 PM
rWitLord
87665
2049
46
Greymalum
Crying got me through cptsd. I couldn't handle loud noises, gunshots, and explosions damn near send me into psychosis. I learned I could talk to someone trusted about it. It's taken years, but I am in a much better place now. My triggers no longer own my mind. Crying is strength, not weakness.
Covidien8768
Prazosin helped me with my nightmares. It works pretty well but your dreams will make absolute no sense or atleast what you do remember. I still have nightmares but the medication I guess the best way I can explain it is that it kicks me out of the nightmare and starts a new dream. Like a record scratch and the dj plays a new beat
Jawesome19
Did you know that if two guitars sit next to each h other in a stand and ypu pluck the strings on one guitar the strings on the other guitar will vibrate a little? Well it works the same for humans. It's your heart strings, they made hers vibrate, yo. Crying can do this too. True confidence and strength is to cry openly and without shame infront of others
littlecoatfatguy
So the hardest part of this for you is going to be getting your head around the idea that it's okay to be legitimately vulnerable with her. This is your person, your ride-or-die, you are allowed to tell her you're wounded. The second-hardest part is going to be you NOT clamming up the first time she doesn't know how to handle some of it and gets a little freaked out. You are a team, you're going to face this together, and you DON'T need to already know how to do all of it.
ThisIsSteel
I always joked around about the fact my mom tried to kill me several times throughout childhood. My partner was the only person that showed genuine concern and it was the first time I ever cried about it. Let those barriers down and like others said, get therapy. <3
urboyevan2
Cry bro, it’s great. When we cry we release hormones and chemicals that benefit us. It’s proactive and in my opinion being able to cry makes someone more of a man.
Fishkeeper
You might want to consider cuddling. Good for all parties- humans are a deeply social species, we need physical touch.
iConfirmAnythingAndEverything
I haven't been touched in years. Enjoy the comfort from a loved one.
Zetor
Soon another confession bear: "My husband finally opened up to me, I don't want to push him so I just gently held his hand" But yeah, good for you two. :)
thetastejustslipsaway
There is strength in being vulnerable. Also takes strength to talk about it. Much respect to you.
measuredby5
Do the same for her watching the next touching story
Titanslayerzeus
Cry. Allow yourself that emotional response.
AndThenThereWereSquirrels
Some folks physically can't. Source: used to be me
KawaiiInari
@op this. You are a human. A unique life. Cry. It's there for you to get stress out. It's not shameful. It's natural.
LaffertyDanie1
It's so hard wired into some of us to hold it in at all costs
elevengoldfish
Good on you both for communicating with each other. I'm sorry for your dreams, but I am so glad you're talking about them and have a safe partner to do that with. I hope things get better for you. Your wife's quiet response sounds lovely.
dart223
Thats what we are supposed to do for eachother. Communication should be safe and we are all human.
freezingpilot
May I also choose this guy's wife?
Somanyquestions
If you feel like crying, just do it. You'll feel so much better. Especially if your wife is there for you. We have feeling and it's 100% normal to express them.
VashTehStampede
Big hug from a stranger on the internet, my fellow human. It's okay to let the tears out, even if you were taught otherwise. Glad your wife is there for you.
captncode
Trust me. Do what you can to get out of those loops of going over events that caused your PTSD. Reliving a memory reinforces it. Breaking that loop as often as you can does help reduce how often you have them.
SleazyBijou
Cry dumbass! It’s your wife! She loves you.
rambot
@op. Also those could be happy tears too...that you have a partner who cares
rWitLord
She has taught be everything about love.
rWitLord
Me
roseisnotmyname
wildsageHMC
I also choose this man’s wife 😭
DocFaust13
I’m a veteran and don’t want to burden my wife with it. Glad you have someone to talk to. You can also talk to me if you need.
pileorats
Highly recommend ‘The body keeps the score’ by Bessel van der Kolk
ontarioOT
"Waking the Tiger" is also good, and a bit less dense / academic.
HipsterCommie
IamNoneOfTheThingsISayIam
There it is. Surprised I had to scroll so far to see it
IUsedToHaveUsernameOnce
I'm dealing with similar issues. It helps to learn to embrace emotions. It sounds pretentious but learning how to be moved my art, how to cry at the movies and developing the emotional intelligence is part of the treatment. First baby step is to get comfortable crying. Most of us man get told not to and it fucks us up.
lackadaisycull
Well done on wifing her. Incoming comments on also choosing OP’s wife.
warriorofdiscord
Eh, with an emotional post like this, those sort of crude jokes tend to be fewer and farer between.
GravyEducation
I choose Op
LarvaLamp
I choose OP's wife for OP.
Quizz25S
I also choose OP's wife for OP.
OhIfIMust
BlindGardener
You don’t have to be strong all of the time.
burningcouchwv
I only let my guard down in the hospital. I hated it, do not recommend.
Zephirod
you gotta learn to be weak. Having a better half that you feel comfortable to cry in front of is one of the best things you can have.
Fatbellynsmokestomuch
The fuck I don't been burned by everyone have ever opened up to...never again.
GravyEducation
Cucumberclouds
In our household we kinda take turns.
judyblue
And crying isn't weakness. Expressing your emotions isn't weakness. Weakness is not allowing yourself the space you need to feel whatever you're feeling because you're afraid of what others will say. *Which is also okay sometimes*.
GravyEducation
I've been going through a rough patch... yesterday was hard... I haven't cried yet. That's not the best sign but yknow it'll happen. I feel shitty because I felt I haven't been the best to the people who've been helping me and I can't help them but can't pour from an empty cup I guess. Also I watched something that was kinda on the suicide nose, which I have family history. Plus I yelled out loud just like FUCK 1/2
GravyEducation
2/2 it helps to talk. Just putting that out there helped me, imgur therapy, little misty eyed just saying this. Find your valve and fuckin throw it man we need to cry
kylefromterminator
As a man I’m expected to be
Izdleve
So there's a few ways to approach that thought. I personally like just asking myself "why" and since I've never been able to come up with a good answer. If you can think of one, let me know, but I warn you that "society says so" won't work. My other thought exercise is "I am X. Therefore, whatever I am is what X is (or at least within the range." If the word man describes you, then you don't need to change to fit the description. The description needs to change to include you.
HeProtecAndAttac
You shouldn't be. I'm sorry if you're not given a chance to do so but I really hope you find a way to get rid of this expectation
Gwenx
Hi, hello, i dont expect you to be strong and hold up everything in behind closed doors, i dont expect you to carry every hurt, hardship, or sorrows on your shoulders.
I allow you to just, be.
Hope you can too, one day :)
Asadsadsadclown
Tell that to my ex wife
?1
BishlamekGurpgork
A person you can never be weak with is a person who's never met the real 'you.'
Asadsadsadclown
Naw I was, she told me to stop being a bitch, then complained I never open up
xj4low
Maybe that's why she is your ex.
Asadsadsadclown
Well that and the kid that isn’t mine.
xj4low
Yikes. Sorry to hear man.
Asadsadsadclown
ehhh I've always had the ability to cut people off like a diseased limb. While the situation sucks, I have never been more comfortable, stress free, and financially secure in my entire life. Best thing that has ever happened to me.
HeyOP
Why almost? It's your wife yo, let it go. Then maybe have mood boost sex, while weeping if you're both into it. Get weird with each other.
Duraxis
It really is good for you to cry now and then just to get it out. As a guy who refused to show sadness for 30+ years, trust me, it makes a hell of a difference
Dontknowwhattododevastated0
Get weird with each other. I like that. It IS good advice!
OldnFatBobba
Fuuuuck it's be nice to be able to let go. I loosened my grip a little after 5yrs and 2 kids, and learned real quick that shit wasn't going to be tolerated.
imaynotbeasmartmanjenny
t4d3jkVillain
wereallwronghere
I agree with letting yourself cry with a partner but idk if sad/trauma crying thru sex is something to bring in. That shit can rewire your brain's emotional connections quickly, especially when vulnerable. Plus if you're upset it's likely you're both just going thru the motions instead of enthusiastically consenting. Cry together, let shit process, eat some good food, then have sex if you're in the mood.
hellfirerains
I experienced emotions in front of my wife once. She had a replacement for me within a few months
HeyOP
If you'd done it sooner imagine how much you'd have saved in legal fees.
puffpuffmcgruff
To surrender to emotions you're not comfortable with is hard no matter who you are
HeyOP
Not saying it's easy, not even saying I'd do any better, just saying it's a rewarding and valuable skill.
1maddane
This
lessthanequals8
lube is lube
AnyRandomBob
Hell yeah! Had a good cry earlier. Can't keep it bottled up forever. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel your feels.
euphoricopportunity
Maybe OP couldn't remember how? That's definitely a thing that happens, feeling like you need to cry but it just doesn't work right.
DoingItWrongSince1980
He didn't say he was holding back. Sometimes you just don't get all the way to crying out loud. Sometimes you just get a little verklempt. Https://imgur.com/cftfE2R.png
ReleaseTheBeeees
Voice of Love God from gravity falls
HeyOP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZJjNyHgdwI&t=269s
40Knots
This is outstanding advice.
darthnerdus6236
Right?! This is the intimacy that builds a relationship. This is how your partner understands you PTSD.
knotch2
I refuse to cry in front of any woman. Both my last two girlfriends looked at me differently afterwards. I hope to be able to cry in front of a woman again one day ... . But it always ended with them not liking me
TaakoFromTv
Then they were lacking. Not you.
MsAmyMack
My husband doesn't cry. He says he just can't. But if he ever does, I am absolutely here for him.
ZephDragon
Im sorry thats happend to you no one deserves partners who dont support you in times of emotinal distress. You will find a woman one day who will hold you well you cry. Not all of us look at men differently for expressing emotions.
FBISurveillanceTeam
If you have to hide your stuffed animals, she’s not the one. It’s the thing I struggled the most with several times.
hannahbutnotreally
That's brutal, I'm so sorry.
Talori
Definitely consider what kind of women you're settling for then... Hope you find a lovely and compassionate gal
knotch2
This is true. I had a more outgoing personality at that time of my life. And I changed after I noticed I was dating the wrong kinda woman. I ended up just not dating anymore. Then I got to my late 20's and gained weight. Confidence fell. Lost my job in my earlier 30s. But now I'm feeling more confident again. I got a job in IT and I'm making more money... I feel like I have something to offer a woman now.
WhistlePig
You poor thing! I hold my partner tight, cradling them until words seem possible
TussleTheCat
Getting weird with your SO will strengthen your bond. So does bondage. Binding emotional bonds to physical bonds thru bondage is quite the bonding fun! Bond safely or end up bound in a bondulance for binding the bonds too tight! Tightly bound bonds can put you in a bind. The newly bound emotional & physical bonds may become broken bonds. If your bonds are bound too tight, EMT are bound to break the bonds to unbind them. So bind the bonds carefully when bonding thru bondage!
Prob need bondulance
SidewalkWidflower
How does one go about learning how to?
TussleTheCat
Instructional bondage porn or Google? I honestly don't know, bondage isn't my thing. I was just being goofy in my delirious state of mind after being up for almost 2 days straight at the time of commenting lol
SidewalkWidflower
Lol, you seemed specifically knowledgeable then! Get some sleep!
alvinthatsme
Ill hold the camera
heartlessninja6
I’ll get the lights
ImpossibleAgenda
And MY axe!
texasredheadguy
I'll hold your hair
nclu
I'll put on the mascara!
ReelPoop
I'll hold your dick...wait
KafkasKarma
I'll hold your wallet and keys
kikisdeliveryservice
Imgur, the community always ready to lend a hand.
kingkongkeom
Sometimes assistance is needed to get it back in but he is holding her while standing...you are a good friend.
coothlesscthulhu
BishlamekGurpgork
Honestly, easier said than done. Sometimes you know they're there and you want to spill and the fucking dam just won't break.
coothlesscthulhu
Oh for sure, that's how I was in my last relationship for a long time. There were plenty of other problems there that honestly should've ended the relationship, but the last straw was me opening up and them using it against me.
BishlamekGurpgork
Oh, yeah, taking advantage of a partner's vulnerable moments is a garbage move.
AnxiaTeaDD
Give each other crygasms
Crambodian
Oh man. I fucked a girl who squirted and came so hard, that after have a full body orgasm started to cry and have a panic attack. I did my best to comfort her the whole time (grounding techniques and what not), and the whole time i thought, “is this going to happen every time we fuck?” But yeah, we’ve been together 7 years now, and the sex is still great, but luckily the cry and panic attacks were only the first time. Phew
AnxiaTeaDD
It happens. I’ve had crygasms. It can be pretty overwhelming when you not only have a really powerful orgasm but also that deep connection with the person you’re intimate with. It’s some powerful chemistry. Some woman can be sexually active for years without knowing what a real orgasm is like and when they finally do it’s like “HOLY SHIT!”I remember when I used to think cunnilingus was overrated until I met my now husband. But I’m also somebody who needs that mental stimulation of like “this …
AnxiaTeaDD
is my person. I’m deeply attracted to this person and have deep feelings for them. I feel safe and secure at my most vulnerable with them.” in order for me to have that earth shattering, brain melting sex. And I’m glad I have that to share with my partner.
billstranger
As a Dyewd i totally get this. Have been single for a while now, lots of chances for a 1 night stand or possible ongoing "relationship" that I've no-thanksed because I've been where you are, and the people I've a chance with, and don't get me wrong, many of them very physically attractive, just don't give me that vibe. Attraction is not just physical, there's so, so much more to it. I know it's a stereotype that guys specifically are all about the "look," but everything else is more important.