lAnimalCrackersl
167964
4916
76
Funny
Jan 22, 2019 4:29 PM
lAnimalCrackersl
167964
4916
76
akom
Weird way to tell him you knocked up his daughter.
CafeNervosa
Mirilali
As a Sarah I'd definitely send this to my dad... Except he's a Joe.
RetardVillain
Daquantity
Correct response: Nice to meet you sir but my names not Howard.
NAbsentia
This is correct, but only available to men to have sired a child.
Poopoopeepeevagina
My names first name is parker. Every time we would visit my now ex’s house, when we would leave he would always say. Don’t forget your parka
Frostbreaker1
Your names first name? What's your names last name?
Poopoopeepeevagina
The bonds name. James name
ResidentMormon
Establish eye contact, maintain dominance
kimsahobbit
Don't forget to fling poo. Dominate.
DildosaurassRekts
Bite them on the ear.
SpartyOnDetroit
I was thinking whip your dick out with out breaking eye contact and piss on his foot.
Huitxilopochtli
Hold your dick out and stare him down until he gets down on his knees, to establish dominance of course.
alrightthenkeepyourupvotes
“God damn it Sarah, you’re pregnant?”
ZomPoanie
No, she is Sarah
Flodos
I wonder Howard that happened.
Madderrs
#teamtoaster
ian6265
Am I preganty, pregonant, how do I know I'm pregoray
srki22360
Again?
Huitxilopochtli
FrenziiTheSuccubus
CooCooCaChew
waltjrimmer
I yelled that in a bowling alley after I beat some friends at bowling. We were all working there at the time. Thankfully the boss was out.
FallingStar7669
PREGANANANT?!?
Huitxilopochtli
G-g-g-g-g-gh-gh-APPARITION!?!?!
squealer
What happen when get pergenat?
roastbeefkazenzakis
Perganat?
elizardo
toutube compilatiin of stupid google questions
DickPicEnthusiast
YouTube/Yahoo
ProbablyHolly
No I'm hungry.
Keifer6644
Hi Hungry. Nice to meet you.
ZomPoanie
I thought you were Sarah?
LostCatWantedDeadAndAlive
You can be both.
Huitxilopochtli
No. One thing at a time.
PikaChunin
Why does introducing your parent by name sound strange to me? I'd expect someone to introduce them as "their dad" and him to offer his name.
cauliflowersweetandsour
Could be stepdad?
fowly
Also got me confused. At first i thought howard was the BF. But the joke works either ways.
HisBabes
When I became an adult with own house & family I introduced my mother to ppl by her first name. My daughter is in her 30s & I still get -
HisBabes
introduced to her friends as Mom. I thinks it’s adorable.
DasBeaker
As I got old my mom didn’t like that I didn’t introduce her with her first name. Like “this is my mom, (her first name).
canyouthriveat35
I didn’t start adding my mom’s name until I was in my late 20s - until then she was just Mom.
DasBeaker
Yep!! That’s when I did as well.
EroticZombiePants
How often do you ever call your parents by their first names?
tantallous
mom and dad are just mom and dad. but if i'm making introductions i would use their names.
CalebCakePilot
I have always called them by their first name.
ThePerro
That’s what makes this story seem fake. Not the pun but that she introduced him by name
lAnimalCrackersl
It’s a meme not a whole story. It’s just suppose to be funny
ThePerro
Ah, my apologies. Ahahahahahahahahaha +1 upvote
lAnimalCrackersl
You’re good?
SliderOfElay
Because it is a joke...
lAnimalCrackersl
Yeah some people are taking this too seriously
Huitxilopochtli
Are you mr. Animal Cracker, founder of crackers, or are you an animal cracker? If the latter, which animal?
lAnimalCrackersl
I’m the God of the animal crackers
Huitxilopochtli
I’m the god of blood and war. We should be best friends? And which cracker are you?
comeflywithme
What? No!? Are you really animal crackers tho? Big fan! Since I was a kid even!
lAnimalCrackersl
The one and only?
Huitxilopochtli
And can I have your autograph, mr. Cracker?
lAnimalCrackersl
Only if you follow me
Huitxilopochtli
I hath followed thee, sir cracker.
allibaster12
Greeting girlfriends dad for the first time with "Hey man". Bold move.
ShitIcantthinkofausernameagain
it asserts dominance, interchangeable with dude, bud or gayboi
FirstThingThatCameToMind
Sup daddie
qPRdxH4UXm36HS9rJgLA
You should always lead with "I have licked your daughters nipples"
abrakadumbass
as i get older, i have become a sir myself, therefore i greet the gfs dad as an equal. then we both bitch about kids today, as sirs do.
ifyouwanttickbuyaclock
ProbablyHolly
I would be forced to reply with "you're an all star!"
Iamnotgoingtopostbadthingsagain
TheDudeSkywalker
Yeah but he disarmed the situation with a choice dad joke
Mooseormeese
"Sir" isn't as common in all areas
bumCandle
If I'd called my father-in-law sir when we first met he'd have hated me
Lulabel73
I’ve never heard anyone call anyone Sir in a informal setting in Australia. Usually only strangers getting told off “sir! You can’t wear ..”
DatDarthCaedus
Using Sir or a similar title here in Sweden would just be seen as ridiculous and possibly insulting lol
allibaster12
Note to self: if I ever meet someone from Sweden, greet them with "whatup yo?"
PhilipCoulson
Around here using "sir" or "ma'am" is almost an insult, people usually don't like it. I think it makes people feel old or something
truthsmiles
But... we ARE old.
MrTrevorBelmont
and using "man" is ok? If you're dating my daughter, we're not bros, and "sir" or "Mr. X" will do just fine
MrTrevorBelmont
I would also accept "Mr.X" instead of "Mister (my last name)"
Oddysen
Eh, I'd take "Hey man" over "Greetings sir" any day. Sure, the bloke might not be one of my mates, but I'm not his employer in 1910 either.
PhilipCoulson
I mean, nowhere in my comment did I say "man" was proper, so I'm not sure what you want me to say?
MrTrevorBelmont
Thats fair
Mooseormeese
If your daughter is an adult dating an adult and you make him call you sir or Mr. "X" you have an ego complex. You're not his superior
LlamaEaters
That's absurd.
Mooseormeese
Not really, it conveys level of high regard that some people feel should be reserved for those who have earned it not some stranger
RyanAndTheQuestForWorldDomination
Yeah, which is why you’d definitely wast yo call the father of your girlfriend “sir” for that exact reason.
PhilipCoulson
Meh. It’s forced, fake politeness to just use a title out of duty. We just try to be nice in regular ways and not worry about titles
LlamaEaters
And that's fine, stigmatizing the term is not. I'm Indian, we use sir and madam almost reflexively without being insulted by it.
lAnimalCrackersl
I greeted my girlfriends dad with “hey coach”
pareidoliaperson
Ok Chad, calm your humagous pecs.
UndulatingTerrain
I said 'Hi daddy'.
DukeDarkwood
Twist: He was, in fact, your own coach, independently of being your GF's father.
Mooninites
Bold move
nupoc674
first gf’s dad I greeted at a high school football game. I had full face paint a green/ gold top hat sunglasses and my hair was dyed green.
TheToughestGuyInLetterkenny
Fucking embarrassing
NobodyWorthThinkingAbout
"Hello, Mr. President, I know you're wondering how I got in the White House or what I'm doing in your daughter's room with three goats, 1/
NobodyWorthThinkingAbout
two dalmations, four chickens, the surviving members of Nirvana, your daughter, and a rodeo clown..." 2/2
KalteKartoffeln
What's poppin chief?
GuacamoleMoleMolester
Dating coach's daughter. Bold move.
lAnimalCrackersl
Thank you
IAmAGoldenGOD
If he makes you do sprints or something, you should thank him for increasing your “stamina”
lAnimalCrackersl
Bruh?
lAnimalCrackersl
Bruh?
neonxeon
KranjisMcBasketball
I greeted my girlfriend's dad with, "hey dad"
JustRegisteredToLeaveThisComment
hey dad. I am who?
Rangizingo
What is this, Kentucky?
DeathCertificate
Alabama 100
Mooninites
Bold move
notFBIcamsnoop
I hear banjo music playing in the background.
AlwaysFavoriteAsian
Is that a dad joke used on a dad? Bold move.
Teachertricks
I used "Hey son!". I'm my own grampa.
FritztheChef
fowly
Hello, STEPdad
uncleorandrew
Haha this wins
BrawndoTheThirstMutilatorIsWhatPlantsCrave
"hey daddy"
InRetrospectIShouldveLearnedToSwimBeforeBecomingaSailor
My sisters boyfriend tried this. It didn't end well considering he's closer in age to our dad
IdHaveSexualIntercourseWithHerIfSheLegallyConsentedToDoSoWithMe
I greeted my girlfriend's dad with "Hello Gary" His name was Greg.
ArtieoftheAbyss
Oof. That’s awkward
Mooninites
Bold move
ButterWielder
Taking the ole Ron Swanson method I see.