ringtothebaek
115705
2997
147
Apr 2, 2017 5:01 PM
ringtothebaek
115705
2997
147
Stealthyboy
Garlic sauce instead of chilli sauce? Heresy.
Berethian
Australian kebabs are similar to Canadian ones - in that you can quite happily eat them while sober.
omefalodon
"Proper British kebab" m8 the only places u can get a proper kebab are turkey and Greece. Greece also has another type too which is cool too
deltajesus
There's a place near me that does a foot long kebab thicker than my forearm for £5. There are some advantages to living in a shithole.
Syninfection
Im having Vietnam style PTSD flashbacks to Uni'days
toastedspikes
KAPSALON: Dutch drunk food (transl. "Barbershop"). It's fries, kebab meat, pickled veg, salad, garlic sauce, hot sauce, cheese, all in a box
LoopStricken
I've found nowhere local that does this, despite learning about it from The Register many years ago. Six years ago, just checked.
Mulder61
I literally laughed do much I cried...
tizoizo
This guy is a modern day Hunter S. Thompson in his narrative
memno919
Donner with cheesy chips tho!
justherefortheshitposting
If you're like me you're the hero who stays awake until the orders are up while everyone else is drooling on the window bench.
thevisad
As a yank I had a proper British kebab, god help me I wish I hadn't, nothing has come close since.
80percentlegs
Have you had a German kebab?
iWillDieInUserSub
I really enjoyed this story.
stevecareII
Any sauss
Skittleballs
This us still genius. Fun fact: Kebab was invented in Berlin. Not the meat, but putting it in bread to take away.
Malz42
The only way to eat one of these kebabs while absolutely steaming, is to take a massive mouthful of it and then lob the cunt at a window.
scroobiusgav
This is too true. I live on the Scottish coast and some towns have serious seagull problems because of exactly this.
Malz42
I've heard in some Scottish coastal towns, loud inebriated seagulls are lobbing big greasy kebabs at windows on their nights out as well.
DafyddWillz
I can definitely confirm that this is a proper British tradition. Nothing beats running into Hammi in the pub at 3 am, completely shitfaced
DafyddWillz
and ravenous as fuck, and him as generous as he is agreeing to open up shop and make you a proper kebab even though they closed 4 hours ago.
ThisusernameisavailableIthink
This is how we get our kebabs in finland too! Best drunk food and hangover food! No fancy shit.
thelaaaaaw
If too clean is an issue, I know a few kebab places that had fines for being unsanitary (bugs, dirty equipment, rat feces, mold...)
thedeafbarista
Chilli sauce salad, boss?
Tighe
Love it
iamsoconfusedithink
They can't even spell it correctly.... fucking kabob my arse.
Adambean
Any British town centre on a Friday night. That's what this is the result of.
CGriffo124
In my nearest city they had to start shutting our kebab places hour before the clubs, cause all the drunk people kept causing fights in them
DeadKnightDante
My local has a pie shop opposite the main club. defo best way to end the night. it stays open til about 5am
DoYouWantToHaveAThreeWay
Best think is the subway round me shuts at 4 in the morning
lostnortherner
My aunt made an insane amount of money running a kebab and pizza shop, it was in a small rural town, but it was opposite a pub.
thedeafbarista
Chilli sauce salad, boss?
tunnytuntuntun
I don't think I've ever felt so patriotic.
acunninglinguist
This may seem weird, but I guess I've always associated that word with specifically American patriotism. Fucking nationalism brainwashed >>
tunnytuntuntun
Brits get patriotic but it tends to be over ridiculous things. Normally our go to reaction to things is self deprecation.
acunninglinguist
into kids, and now it's almost difficult for me to imagine someone from Britain or Brazil or Australia being patriotic. Ugh, I need to >>
acunninglinguist
travel more.
ENCHANTMEN
IDK, it would make sense for "patriotism" to be associated with one's home country.
acunninglinguist
This was the third comment in a string of comments. Didn't have enough room to convey the idea in 140 characters.
ENCHANTMEN
I know.
Tdawgspetduck
As a Brit 100% true. Although I do like chips, cheese and garlic mayonnaise after the lash
LoopStricken
Throw on some lettuce and bab meat, it's kapsalon.
N0ledge
Nothing like a big ass poutine after a rough night out
00110001001001111010000110110110011
astraIvoid
Poutine is legitimately 99% of the reason I wanna go to Canada. That other 1% is for adventures an shit
N0ledge
Go for a poutine adventure then
endlessnumbereddays
So I read this and had to look up what that was and now I want some. And free healthcare.
N0ledge
It's heaven
scroobiusgav
We have both those things in the UK too
scotjam
Here's to you Amir - cheers!
corbynDallas
Fucking right. Although I like a mad amount of chilli sauce on there too.
BelovedIvory
Chilli sauce and burger sauce. The right amount of sickly, spicy sweetness to forget the rumours that the kebab ismade of people.
Sumstufffofun
BBQ sauce
themilkmancometh
Wake up next morning/afternoon cuddling said kebab and then fucking rejoice and eat the cunt for breakfast.
Thesaya
Drunk me is actually smart enough to put it in the fridge and I find it when my stomach makes me leave bed the next day.
cellstahli
Are you mad? Mine have usually solidified by that point, but damn do they still smell delicious
scroobiusgav
Doesn't matter, hungover hungers - eat the cunt.
BrosBeforeDINOS
As is tradition
Sebastian987654
The elders have spoken
babyphat
"eat the cunt for breakfast..." I know what you mean, but I like what it means in my head better.
sunnyhoney1992
Same here.
MisterLemons
Aaaand LOL'd at 3am
shinannigan
Wait is this actually a thing because I did this every weekend when I studied abroad in the U.K. Am I British??
FlightRisk3154
I've never actually had that with a kebab, I have woke up with a half eaten chicken legend and it was glorious.
snowycabbagemobile
What the hell is a chicken legend and where do I get one
ViezeVrouw
UK McDonalds
killmanatees
I was in London for 2 weeks and did this twice
Ruffstarr
Twice? What did you do the other 12 days?
Lutki
Your mum?
Ruffstarr
Oh man! How much did you drink!
killmanatees
I slept... I can't hang with English drinking
nodutglubs
Try scottish
Cyrano517
Uh... eat the cunt... means vagina in the US.
Flabort
Oh they know. The fuckers know.
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
God I miss British drunk food. No other country has it quite the same.
tumppu
Try finnish. We have kebabs and pizza, but "grilli" is where the authentic experience is. Includes a fistfight, cold food and the slammer.
Softcreamybeige
Street food in Chile is mostly hot dogs smothered in tomatoes, avocado, and mayo. So foul and awful that they are amazing
theuberkevlar
Döner kebab is of Turkish/German origin. I remember eating them while I was living there and feeling like OP.
mfwyouchecked
everyfuckingwhere in denmark we have döner resturants at every corner
Skittleballs
Invented in Berlin by Turkish immigrants.
FlyinHawaiian13
Not British but the best drunk food Ive had was a Cajun man selling what he claimed to be Alligator basted in an unknown sauce out a trailer
OlivierD
Boy do I have news for you about a wonderful place called Belgium
somenerandom
Come to Bulgaria.
CephalopodsLie
I have to agree with the Döner kebab or the pizza and litre of beer in Italy. Oh done drinking? Naw €7 for your own pizza and beer at 3am.
GodEmperor0fMankind
I'm an American. I know exactly how most of our food is handled and prepared. This still terrified me.
RiversideM
Oh boy, did you go drinking in Germany? Origin of kebab, or get yourself lahmacun, burgers, pizza, sandwich, you'll be happy
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
I live in Germany now. The kebabs are too authentic, too nice. The OP is very accurate. British drunk food is greasy, horrible heaven
Nemain
Ireland does...
MightySunfish
Australia is close.
Syninfection
you need to turn the map up side down
AxCharm
the whole time reading that, i pictured my first drunk kebab after a pub crawl in Parramatta. 12yrs on and that kebab caravan is still there
JackHarknessNerdySidekick
Waffle House: triple hashbrown all the way, you'll vomit the next day but you'll sleep like a fat happy baby
kapp70
Wow, I love 2 blocks from a waffle house
ricklesdee
Look, you can't do it pussy style either. You look that waitress in the eye and you tell her you want Gravy AND Chili.
DocEternal
Waking up to a kebab and an Irn-Bru after a night out in Glasgow was probably the best thing of the months I stayed there.
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
Irn Bru is THE hangover cure. Did you ever get a scooby snack? The shame, oh Lord the shame...
DocEternal
Oh god, straight from The Maggie! Hell yeah!
GeneVagina
I once got handed a battered sausage whilst hammered in Glasgow. To this day I've got no idea who handed it to me.
gregclark1
No one would know what battered sausage is , but I know your talking about a single sausage from chip thus called because it didn't have 1
gregclark1
Chips with it
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
The weegies are very helpful folk. If they see someone who evidently needs a battered sausage, they than them a battered sausage.
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
(also, if it happened between 2010 and August last year, it might have been me... You're welcome)
GeneVagina
It was August 16th 2012. I hope it was you, haha.
TovarishchSkeleton
so you gave everyone the sausage for 6 years?
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
Only those who needed it
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
You want some?
FlightRisk3154
I feel like I need to leave the room and give you guys some space...