Yarnabler
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Front page! Please don't send nudes. My husband might get jealous. Also, I reeeeeeally don't want to see any of you naked.
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ImDreamingofaShiteChristmas
Ain’t nobody sticking no sugar in no goddam concrete bah!
jmacg
IIRC cement mixer trucks carry bags of sugar in case they get stuck in traffic.
copingcabana
Pluto is a dwarf planet. Imagine that! A whole world full of Tyrion Lannisters!
Narushima
#5 That's ironic, George Orwell himself advised to use the simplest possible words when writing.
fadecomic
#7 everyone keeps forgetting generation X. We're still here, you know.
cmpltkaos
#12 Gnomes, the Swiss are gnomes. The Gnomes of Zurich, to be completely correct.
Octobutt
#2 reminds me of "Forgive me father for I have sinned" and "Sorry Daddy, I've been so bad"
SLPsRockTheABCs
Birnam wood comes to Dunsinane...
Karsenlove
#13 I dare you to buy me a pizza.
HypnoChanger
They did not hold branches to trick macbeth into thinking they aren't an army. They did it so he could not determine their numbers.
hstein3
#7 Millennials are likely the highest percentage of deaths to opioids, so we're really not doing that great.
ouroborus777
#14 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otOSZZVo5aU
dasklaus
There's a whole twitter thread with lots of replies and additional verses. It's awesome.
comingatyoulikeabeamlikearay
#7 And gen x just over here getting shit done
bacchuss
Those were all great but Joseph Gordon-lovitte killed me
qussow
#1 That's actually not a bad diet.
RepostFromLastWeek
Pretty much what people have been doing for the past 10-20,000 years. Having guaranteed daily calories is pretty recent development.
SpeshalBil
Some concrete truck drivers still carry a 50lb bag of sugar in the cab in case something happens (wreck, traffic) and the concrete expires
SpeshalBil
To prevent having to clean or forfeit the drum. Source: I’m a concrete inspector
araffs
Whats the tl;dr for this dump
TheMissingByte
Meh jokes
EverNotRelevant
I believe it's "Learn to read"
LonelyBrannigan
Pluto is a big comet with a nice orbit, go home
neverdouttheworm
Hear about Pluto? Messed up right?
CanadianFurr
VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU
ArcaneAlchemist
a dwarf planet is still a planet. it's in its name. just like a dwarf person is still a person. we have more than 8 planets.
Spetzna13
Dwarf planet: a celestial body resembling a small planet but lacking certain technical criteria that are required for it to be classed as...
Spetzna13
Such. So technically dwarf planets are not planets they just resemble planets.
ArcaneAlchemist
I t h a s p l a n e t i n I t s n a m e
Spetzna13
Y e t i t i s s t i l l n o t a p l a n e t. J u s t b e c a u s e y o u s p a c e d o u t y o u r l e t t e r s d o e s n t c h a n g e i t
eyesofaccretion
I am the very model of a cartoon individual. My animation's comical, unusual, and whimsical.
eyesofaccretion
I'm quite adept at funny gags, comedic theory I have read. From wicked puns and stupid jokes to anvils that drop on your head.
eyesofaccretion
I'm very good at fancy dances, I can even pirouette. Then smack the villain with a fish. I know my cartoon etiquette.
eyesofaccretion
I can make my face all mean and really give you quite a fright,Then make up with flowers made of real exploding dynamite.
eyesofaccretion
When in a jam, I just yell, "Stop!" and villains in their tracks are froze.Then I sneak up, and utter "Start!" and take their hands and honk
eyesofaccretion
I am quite proud to be in such a hierarch'al progeny. From Daffy Duck and Tweety Bird to Babs and Buster Bunny.