Funonnabun894
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Hello everyone, I am a long time lurker of imgur, and I recently saw a post on FP that got my attention. The TL;DR version of it is OP feels disgusted after what he/she fapped to. Here's the full post: http://imgur.com/gallery/vZzOV I noticed a few discussions in the comments about why this is. Well, the truth is that porn can be addicting, just like anything else. I'm making this post for all those interested in exploring this idea, and learning what getting off (er... well... the lack thereof) can do for you.
I'm posting here several videos and resources that I found helpful in my quest for knowledge on this topic. Feel free to check out as many or as little as you want. Enjoy (or don't, what do I care)
The video screenshotted up above is a nice place to start. Gavrieli talks about how a lot of porn is focused solely on penetration. There are no boundaries, no intimacy, and no respect. He noticed that this started negatively affecting his love life and his fantasies. (#stopclickbait)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU
Here's one of the discussions I'm talking about ^
So once you know how it can fuck with your own sexual appetites and secret desires, it's time you learned a little bit about the mechanics of the whole thing. Gary Wilson does a nice job explaining how your sex drive and rewards system work when you watch porn. Your brain treats it as a never ending mating season, and your rewards system slowly becomes numb to the pleasure, eventually leading to erectile dysfunctions. (Yes that is extreme, but this is serious stuff.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU
Don't be fooled by the title. Mahr tells his story of overcoming his pornography addiction, and explains how porn can give us a false sense of acceptance. It helps to deal with rejection, but in a very unhealthy way.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIgWMzdgweI
Yay a woman speaker! Gail Dines dives into the social implications of pornography, and how we hypersexualize many images of women. She's actually quite funny, and explains the struggles teenage girls face in developing their sexuality, forced to choose between invisibility and "fuckability." She talks about a lot more though, including following what a young boy might find as his introduction to sex one Google search away. That part is a bit chilling, and the rest is just very interesting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YpHNImNsx8
Bunnage is parenting coach. She delves into the world that is the "hookup culture." She's pretty funny, and talks about the lack of sex education in the home. She talks about more, but I'm getting really sleepy, so.... yeah, just watch the video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKAehegqTvg
I think this is the subreddit one of the videos mentioned. I'm not sure exactly who we imgurians are supposed to feel about reddit, and at this point I'm honestly too afraid to ask.... so I'm just gonna risk it and put a screenshot and a link here. Sorry not sorry
https://www.reddit.com/r/Fapstronauts/
CAT TAX
I hope you enjoyed this post and found some of this stuff helpful. It's really late/early right now and I really want some sleep. If you guys have anything you want to add, or make rebuttals, or whatever, please comment or make a response post or pm me or something. Goodnight Imgur
FP Edit: Whoa I had no idea so many people would be interested in this! Pm me more resources and I'll do another one of these if you beautiful bastards want one. For now, I've found some more resources in the comments, so I'll leave those here:
Counter Argument Presented by @Colenzo Gracias Colenzo
http://www.skeptic.com/reading_room/skeptical-of-the-porn-skeptics
The NoFap subreddit, apparently I provided the wrong one, oops. Thanks to @m0gart
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/
Sweet sweet Scientific Research (as in the actual science kind, not "science" : P) Thanks to @teninchhero
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com
How Porn Fuels Human Trafficking. Thanks to @bigbushybeard
www.fightthenewdrug.com
Lastly, thank you to everyone who's upvoted, favorited, or started a flame war in the comments section. We need to talk about these things. Have a great day you wonderful people (^ .^)
flamingflamingo
I mean obviously you can be addicted to porn, but the "porn corrupts" conversations that these posts incite legitimately frighten me.
TimeAndMemeLordOfGallifrey
jppv86
When I was with my ex, I rarely jacked it. I got it enough from her. Now that I'm single I'm painting the walls
downvoter5000
Am I the only one who thought the midget comment was hilarious?
SuperRockinMrMagic
@OP what are we supposed to fap it to? Imagination? Crewdly self drawn doodles? Serious question
Funonnabun894
Fantasize. Use that as your source for material. In my experience and that of others, it ends up more satisfying than the alternative.
Funonnabun894
Or crudely self drawn noodles, whatever floats your boat man
IcandowhateverIlike
Moderation is the key to everything.
weeshful
murder and rape...but in moderation
Corrodias
Yes. Addiction is when you can't moderate it any more.
tuffrabit
Everything? How about running speed whilst being chased by a hungry bear?
Funonnabun894
Go too fast and you'll burn to a crisp
theothercollin
even moderation
BillJohnson
You must always be careful not to go too far with your moderation.
IReplyWithGraphicsInterchangeFormats
Are these all TEDx?
weeshful
you shouldn't shit over good talks just because the average quality of the category is disappointing
ThisIsGod
Well even regular TED talks are a little uppity and not always a good source of information. If you have the time, read up on their history.
acosenti
TEDxxx...
BonoboHandshake
I definitely find porn hurts my appetite, which can make me anxious, so I'm trying to stop it. But that's anecdotal and everyone's different
Funonnabun894
Good on you BonoboHandshake
BonoboHandshake
Folks who argue that quitting porn gives you super powers. It helps me, but that could very well be a placebo. /2
BonoboHandshake
Thanks, I just wanted to throw in my .02$. I disagree with folks that porn does nothing to you at all. But, I also disagree with the /1
BionicNipples
Porn is better and cheaper than STDs and STIs.
theothercollin
only the bionic kind though
tred1975
I am watching porn for a whole while now and still do. But i experienced that the intensity of how i come to my own fantasy masturbating 1/2
tred1975
Isn't comparable to the coming to porn. Fantasy coming is much more intense 2/2
Andalite
I just watch porn because I'm too lazy to imagine having sex. Also, I like watching people fuck and people get all weird when you ask
MrPornProfessional
We thank you
rubbarz
Bitches actin like people didnt have orgies with hundreds of people during the Greek Olympics.
DynamicWeight
You just have to ask the right people. And be willing to pay.
Andalite
https://imgur.com/51Z7evx
LargeHoman
Just don't ask, binoculars are cheap, nothing wrong with being a creep... Except the jail time and being a creep part.
Andalite
Avoiding jail time is optimal for my continued asshole safety
IronCore
This all the same bullshit argument that is also used to say, "video games make people violent."
BrockenSpectre
Stop posting this misleading bullshit like any dopamine surge its supposed to regulated thats all you need to understand.
tentaclefriendly
Anything can be an addiction. That said, when the 'Objecifies/victimizes women' crowd never has an answer to "what about gay smut i draw?"
notme222
Correlation doesn't imply causality. Maybe I watch porn because my sex life is screwed up, not the other way around.
Talmorean
Both can be independently true. I for one can admit the numbing is real. Watching too much porn has desensitized me during actual sex.
flamingflamingo
Maybe you're just not exploring your interests enough in sex. Sex for me is boring unless I'm tied up or the guy is forceful.
GhostPoop
Don't give up fapping it's the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. Just do it in moderation like a decent human being
sundaymondayhippyday
The more you do it, the more extreme the pictures to get the same reactions. You make yourself impotent for the real world!
brownieblue
While true, it's also easy to reverse. Don't watch for a couple weeks and you'll get hard when the wind blows.
JRobi49
Look, I look at porn sometimes, but I also have a beautiful girlfriend I fuck the hell out of on the regular. But I don't jerk it 24/7
Keyboardwarrior777
Porn is awesome, downvoted
krapmyself
I don't watch porn because they don't make any of what I fantasize about. I've looked.
LargeHoman
They do, I've seen plenty of porn where the krap themselves.
miggy372
I find this hard to believe and yet I'm scared to ask what you fantasize about to see if I'm wrong.
krapmyself
One time I fantasized my penis was the size of a school bus and a monster truck ran over it to crush it but the wheels were made of tongues
OverpricedCrayon
I don't believe you
DynamicWeight
You should make porn.
LargeHoman
What about the positive effects of jacking off? As long as there is moderation there's nothing wrong with Jackin it 5 or 15 times a day.
BubblesSayingDecent
If I had a good or even average sex life I wouldn't need porn. Not like I'm gonna stop watching and suddenly become extremely attractive
doogy
can I get a TL;DR?
eadanke
Kooky pseudo science trying to scare people away from sex, sexuality, masturbation, pronography etc. It's just Catholicism 2.0
Funonnabun894
PSA: Educate yourself about porn. Stuff can be really addictive and harmful to both individuals and society
devourasaurus
I fap religiously, I didn't wanna off myself after, nor while doing it. RIP David Carradine.
Talmorean
Well like everything else there is a balance. Fapping, not the issue fapping to porn might be for some. Its important to have mental fantasy
DrFreakBerg
Shit fapping helps me proform better during sex with my wife. Instead of cumming in one second I cum in 1.5.
ConstableDuggins
"Proform"
personalspaceinvaderspiff
dude's got pro form. we should all be so lucky
DrFreakBerg
I am a pro at fapping a very fast sex
QuotesGoHere
1.5???? Living the dream man, living the dream.
DrFreakBerg
I am cocky about it.
gingerminge
Examples of hypersexualizing women on here. Any pic of a girl doing anything has some version of I'd hit it commented on it.
mccar7hy
Yeah, you'll get that from anonymous horny teenagers
ktrain94
At least 60% of comments on my posts are about sex/sex appeal
motherwillow
My bf watches it all the time and says every guy does it it's no big deal. One time I walked in the living room and he was jerking off
motherwillow
To porn. now I'm worried about even being in a different room than him. It makes me so anxious I constantly feel alone and not good enough
eadanke
Unless your goal in the relationship is to be his pornography, you aren't competing with pornography. You are better than that.
seaqueen69
You should talk to him and let him know how you feel, and why you feel that way. He may understand, at least respect you by not doing it 1/
seaqueen69
In front of you or just not at all. 2/2
goingtochipotlewitharistotle
If his viewing porn hurts you, he knows that and refuses to give it up, you deserve better. Guys tell each other they're entitled to porn,
goingtochipotlewitharistotle
but if they're prioritizing watching other naked women over the woman that loves them and is real, that's a problem.
ILikeCuteGifsAndICannotLie
My marriage greatly improved when he quit porn. We were barely intimate and my self esteem was in the toilet.
Neebus
I know how you feel. Hurts to think he's getting off to another woman when you're right there.
flamingflamingo
Imo a healthy spouse watches pon *and* has sex. Your deal sounds codependent.
unefemmeingenieur
Although you are probably an expert in codependency. (2/2)
flamingflamingo
Haha, I suspect you went into my post history with a motive to discredit me, not to measure my wisdom.
unefemmeingenieur
After a brief foray into your post history you have NO PLACE telling others what a healthy relationship is like. (1/2)
ILikeCuteGifsAndICannotLie
No. He was actively choosing porn over sex and we had lost all intimacy. He treated sex as a chore.
flamingflamingo
I feel like there's a MUCH deeper reason for that than "he liked porn". See a counselor.
ILikeCuteGifsAndICannotLie
You have no idea what you're talking about. I feel like all you want is to defend porn and assume I am the problem.
flamingflamingo
Maybe you are, maybe he is, but porn is an outlet, not a cause. A lack of attraction to your spouse is caused by a lack of connection.
YourThoughtsOnTransgenderIssuesAreReallyReallyImportantToMe
There was a seismic culture shift when people raised with easy access to porn became young adults. Have you ever noticed how after 1/2
YourThoughtsOnTransgenderIssuesAreReallyReallyImportantToMe
the '90s suddenly there were no teen movies with plots based around losing virginity, whereas the '80s and '90s were filled with them?
itsallinthewrist
correlation does not equal causation
slinkywafflepants
Maybe hollywood realised the whole world isn't christian americans
YourThoughtsOnTransgenderIssuesAreReallyReallyImportantToMe
Sorry I wasn't clear, I mean there are lots of raunchy sex comedies from the 80s and 90s about teenagers trying to lose their virginity.
LargeHoman
Sexual repression was more common back then so it was more relatable, it's not the only thing that's changed in movies since the 90s
Neebus
Totally, it feels like the western culture is so sex focused now. It's almost become monotonous to see ass and titties everywhere
YourThoughtsOnTransgenderIssuesAreReallyReallyImportantToMe
I think it was always sex-focused, but now because so many of us witness (adventurous) sex before having it, the focus has shifted.
LargeHoman
We censor sex more than most places, it's just built into advertising because it sells so well. Outside of game of thrones and some 1/2
LargeHoman
Other shows and movies it's not really shown, ever. Unlike British tv for instance. Japan is very casual about it too but in a different way
digitalsky
I used to think the was just anti porn propaganda, but the issue of porn is that it reduces dopamine receptors which will cause anxiety 1/2
wlfman
porn, specifically, or masturbation?
Funonnabun894
Anti porn. Masturbation is totally fine. The only reason masturbation is targeted is because of the link between the two. Masturbating 1/2
Funonnabun894
,as far as I know, is healthy for you. The problem comes in when porn starts messing with your sexual appetites 2/2
wlfman
hey thanks, very informative post
whatupmyknitters
tangent: vibrators can also desensitize you (physically). mine broke, never replaced it, and sex got better, orgasms came (ha) more easily.
digitalsky
depression. I know it seems ridiculous when everyone is saying it's normal, but I know it can become a problem from personal experience.
Mimsey
Or does depression and anxiety lead some people to self-medicate with self-pleasure? See? There's no causality demonstrated.
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
You got a source on the receptor stuff? It broadly makes sense when thinking of it as a superstimulus, just wonder whether it's been shown
digitalsky
Gary Wilson explains the science of it.
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
masturbation. Most of the problems seem more likely to be internet-usage-related, and most of the studies he cites are actually on that, (3)
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
addiction itself (which is an area we are not particularly firm on yet); he never really separates adequately porn, the internet and (2)
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
Hm. His talk is good, but there's a few questionable bits (many that he acknowledges): most of the actual science he cites is to do with (1)
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
not porn. In all, he doesn't cite any studies which actually demonstrate this dopamine effect in porn users specifically, and that's (4)
KrustyPartiallyGelatinatedNonDairyGumBasedBeverage
cos there isn't much direct evidence. All of which isn't to say porn isn't/can't be harmful - but the science isn't there yet (5/5)
SolitaireUnraveling
Growing up I didn't and wouldn't believe it, but I now see porn as damaging, directly and indirectly. Lots of disappointment because of
SolitaireUnraveling
expectations. One example is how I can't get off with just penetration. I was okay with that until 3 years, it's damaged a long time
SolitaireUnraveling
relationship, I've been compared to other girls, it makes men feel like they can't perform and they lose interest in me, or just the shame
SolitaireUnraveling
of being asked if I came yet and I have to say "No, can you help me and ___". I don't even have a sex drive anymore, just none of it
SolitaireUnraveling
interests me anymore.
brownieblue
I'm not seeing how porn is causing your issue. But what you describe is very common. I feel for you, tho, as that can make it quite difficul