MynamemightbeDavebutprobablynot
117336
9006
234
me irl
me irl
AfraidOfOstriches
I love how the backup FedEx van shows up to assess the fuckup
Eventheusernamewhyarealltheusernamestakenistaken
The braces one was simple. It's pretty easy to pop em off with a spoon. Did it accidentally a few times.
TanithRosenbaum
The chicken paper, for all in need of trolling material: https://isotropic.org/papers/chicken.pdf
tehlibbyness
My mom removed my braces herself with a knife and a pair of plyers. Still have glue on a tooth.
roserows
I Googled updog. Damnit.
chimera388
My father in law was a wild weasel. Commerce big testicle jokes.
ADedicatedDuck
I have many questions about the mother that bought a buffalo.
NyxArterian
That tom hiddleston one had me agreeing with the interviewer like
Drop5zak
First picture has 6,666 likes. Coincidence? I think not
TheWayADrillWorks
Can I just point out that Zod is a DC character, and Deadpool is Marvel?
TheWholeBlueberryExperience
My firstborn son will now be named "Minor League Guy."
NZSheeps
What's a cactus?
MayTheForceBeWithYou
That's the kinda dump that guys must scroll back up and look at again before moving on to the next post
DarkerSavant
Wild Weasels is still a mission the Air Force supports. My old F-16 Squadron the 522nd Fireballs performed this roll. Guess why Fireballs.
VTCombi
I can't stop laughing at the chicken one. Just think of the confusion of the parents who's son keeps printing this document. Lmfao
jherazob
https://youtu.be/yL_-1d9OSdk
TheWeedIsTooloud
That "Minor League Guy" for the cardinals was actually one of our top prospects who died in a car crash after the 2014 playoffs...
MynamemightbeDavebutprobablynot
I'm a pretty big baseball fan too. I remember hearing about it during the World Series. It was great they had a memorial the next game.
yourbassist
At one point I remembered who "minor league guy" was. This is not that time.
thestork670
Oscar Taveras
yourbassist
My first guess is Xavier Scruggs but I'm too lazy/tired to verify.
Solkanarmy
he almost waited 5 years, he was 1 hour 46 minutes early... what a waste >.>
[deleted]
[deleted]
Solkanarmy
it's 46, 36 would just take you to the hour
AAC1
But 2012 was a leap year! Unless he's not using the Gregorian Calendar, then we must go deeper.
IVerifyPeoplesUsernames
Actually, "Wild Weasel" wasn't a unit—it was a code name for aircraft loaded for Suppression of Enemy Air Defenses.
dgabbless
For those wondering, SEAD missiles ride the signal from the radar on the ground to find their target, which puts the plane in a tricky spot
IVerifyPeoplesUsernames
The AGM-88 High-Speed Anti-Radiation Missile (HARM, callsign MAGNUM) was so effective during the Gulf War that all pilots had to do to avoid
IVerifyPeoplesUsernames
Iraqi radars was to just radio "Magnum." Iraqi radars shut down immediately—even if the pilot illuminated by radar didn't carry HARMs.
mydrivec
Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chicken Chic
tmtoon
Chicken chicken chicken chicken. Chicken chicken chiken! Chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken. Chicken chicken chiken chi
TanithRosenbaum
https://isotropic.org/papers/chicken.pdf
ThatReallyCoolLesbian
TIL I am a man
SlappinDingers
The Nod™
Whowilliam
MyPenisHurtsAfterPoopingFromPushingTooHard
"9/11 was an inside job"
ItsMyMoneyAndINeedItNow
Holy crap
ifoundabritty
Holy shit, I see it now. Thank you
lyle
Bird compass f speech bubble
shewalksthenight
Chicken chicken, chicken chicken chicken. Chicken.
jherazob
I go like this once in a while for no reason
TooYoungToBeOnThisSite
Https://isotropic.org/papers/chicken.pdf
HappinessIsaColdPint
You're welcome. https://youtu.be/yL_-1d9OSdk
shewalksthenight
Ahahahha amazing. Thank you. +1
NayrChastain
Chicken
BlncSL8
This is gold post, I haven't seen any of these yet. Lost it at the Russian translation.
methaiasgrey
I bet that still is how Russians say I love you
missflipwheezy
I must spend too much time on here then lol
kidwhixsuh
I've seen 8 of these before
Ihavewaytoomanyfavoritestosort
#6 WHY WOULD YOU BUY A BUFFALO?!
newsguycraigevans
It went so well with the curtains.
LuminousElk
I mean a live buffalo would be fun
dannyDix
For the yummy wings
itsahollyday2
It wasn't real was it?
Shepsus
What's the word... Stuffed? Yes, its real, but it isn't alive.
itsahollyday2
That's what I thought. Thank you for not mocking me. I'm exhausted.
Shepsus
You should probably sleep... But why are the pipe on the back end of a car?
itsahollyday2
Midterm :P what?
Shepsus
I would totally buy a buffalo.
MsMax75
You wouldn't download a buffalo would you?
Whatisthesecretofsoylentgreen
MegaPlease
Disturbingly true
SleepDeprivedAstronaut
I never look at my poo...
Whatisthesecretofsoylentgreen
You don't know what you're missing
ThiswillbethelongestusernamethatIcanmakeisthereevenalimit
It's a little spooky how true it is
ThatReallyCoolLesbian
TIL I'm a guy
SphinxsNose
I'm a girl and I've done all but 4 of these... And really that's just ’cause logistics!!
anabundanceofpuns
Well, most of it. I never realized how many pee related things I do until now though
TheStoneMask
Ive never had to do the lean while peeing for 2 reasons.1 I almost never wake up with morning wood and 2 I never have to pee in the morning.
kjy912
I do just about all of those things on the daily.
thatrandomimgurian
Seriously tho, why do we all know the nod?
Warune
We just do
TheRoyalViking
As a guy, there's only two or three of those things I haven't done. Yeah.
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
Dude I thought I was the only one who did 14!
bruisologist
I've never understood why I always flush the toilet early while I'm peeing lol and now I know it's just a guy thing hahah
zeethenomad
I litterally do every single one of these except for facebook (because I rarely facebook). But I do that when I text.
jakefromreddit
I've done all of them except the first, which I'm going to do once I finish typing this.
jakefromreddit
Update: toilet won...this time.
lambueljackson
If you think your woman hasn't noticed that your lazy ass just spins-and-tucks the bread, you gotta a lot coming.
moffit
She'll just have to learn it's more quick & efficient. The next time that bread gets picked up it's gonna be opened anyway.
lambueljackson
I'm not saying I don't do it ;)
AttackPenguin666
I wake up with morning wood and have a bash
En3rgize
"It's true. All of it" - Han Solo
Kylecornsfinger
I don't fantasize about my female friends unless I'm single, Idk about the rest of y'all
relaxiwasollijokinen
This is a damn lie im not buying it and you shouldnt be selling it
Kylecornsfinger
see my response to fish1552
fish1552
It doesn't have to ne a full blown sex fantasy to apply.
Kylecornsfinger
Fair enough, but idk at what point you could call it "fantacising". like I wouldn't consider picturing my female friend naked a "fantasy".
Kylecornsfinger
Maybe you could call it that but, I consider "fantasizing" as actually picturing a full situation on purpose because you like the situation.
PonyMadness
Really? Almost 30 years of being a guy and only a few things on that list applied to me
TheNoblesse
It's just made up bullshit that someone did and lot of people "relate" to because magic.
Whatisthesecretofsoylentgreen
You must be fun a parties
TheNoblesse
I might be, but I don't get invited to parties for some reason. ᶘ ͡°ᴥ͡°ᶅ
nefariouspickle
im a girl and quite a lot applied to me
reammeupscotty
I didn't know that they did this procedures 30 years ago
Broxzier
Exactly, this just describes certain people.
DontHateMePlease
Most of it is from childhood/teen years tbh -recent teen
HarleyQuim
Yeeeeaaaaah I'm a girl and I do a lot of these things
erik4556
I'm sorry DO YOU have to do a leaning tower of Pisa to pee in the morning?
imatubejunkie
Ok, come on. That bread tie thing is universal. The main things on that list that women don't do are the pee related ones cause we can't.
namenamename2
exactly
Stumbleine
Exactly what I was thinking.
M0nst3r23
Can also confirm
ClitKicker87
you checked online to see how your cock compared to others? oh almost, that makes more sense
ImNotCryingImChoppingOnions
She said a lot, not all.
OccasionalManatee
Given that it says "checked if your length is adequate" rather than specifically mentioning penises... Doable.
KillerTofu615
Let me guess, you use your cleavage to catch water?
helpim18whatshappening
The little cleavage I have, yes #ittybittytittycommitee
MrRemy
Coke vs pepsi, yeah we have a preference, but like both
fancyass
You know it
KillerTofu615
How does one have a fancy ass?
samjam10412
That or curl up in a ball and make a tittie/thigh water canyon.
Whatisthesecretofsoylentgreen
Demonstration required
namenamename2
Im a woman and i do most of those, except the pee related ones
Samaedag
Well. According to the 20 weird things guys do, I am at least half man.
titstickles
I'm also half a man according to that list, which is weird considering the fact that I'm not at all a man.
aboxfullofpinecones
I do all those things minus the ones involving a penis...
ZiggyStardust80085
My thought exactly. And there is a thing called '2pi' that lets you try out the ones you could normaly do only with a penis. Great fun! :D
Thesinlesssinner
I thought everyone kicked their underwear in the air like a ninja. My life has been a lie!
ShitForBrainsLikeABlumpkin
We know, dude. We know.
SorDavos
Congrats on the battle of Blackwater
Amesus
I've done everything on this list save for the facebook thing. I dont own a facebook.
frozendairybeverage
I've done everything on that list excluding the peeing ones simply because I don't have the proper equipment.
freshstrawberrie
That was my same thought. And then it made me wish I had one for a day just to try that stuff.
Samaedag
Yeap. Though I wonder if it counts if I practice standing to pee while in the shower?
PopatoMc
They're atcually all true for me, except for The Nod, idk what that's about.
jiffyrocks
I was thinking the same thing lol, as a woman....
NonExistingName
What the hell is The Nod. WHAT IS THE NOD.
freshstrawberrie
https://youtu.be/I7i9TwNS5OI?t=38s
Samaedag
According to my husband it's just a silent hello so you don't have to open your mouth.
CapnJackSparrow
Down if I don't know you, up if I do
NonExistingName
Oh is that the Nod? I didn't even know it had a name.
BonesSkeleton
I WANT TO UPVOTE YOU MORE THAN ONCE HELP PLS
AlexandAngie28
When you kinda just tilt your head up a little and back down . When no words are needed to say hi lol
GodlyHermitCrab
My dad once mentioned it and I though I was the only one. But as he described it I realised Im not alone
theYelder
Seriously, remembering that your mother bought a buffalo is no reason to not be terrified of being in a hallway with one.
[deleted]
[deleted]
AgDrumma07
Opened the link to find out that I had favorited it 3 years ago.
MrTestCat
I would be elated! Think of all the Buffalo wings!
McBook
How many wings does a buffalo have?
MrTestCat
As many as Red Bull gives it
Talb0tt
1,000,000,000 seconds is 31 years, 251 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes and 54 seconds. I did the math.
UserWthNoName
How do you measure, measure a year?
Willy1324x4
But whose counting ?
HeyMyCat
I just watched that episode of the Office
Jak0theShadows
Still not gonna double check to see if you are right so, you win
deemedhopless
31 years to seconds equals 977,616,000
MrRemy
/r/theydidthemath
HailHydraBecauseHitlerWasTaken
Math = google
AftimusPrime
6,666 likes
NayrChastain
The dark lord would be pleased
zeethenomad
First time I heard this, I immediately opened my calculator and did the math too.
MrRemy
Ok it checks out
Batzey
Why am I trusting you? I'll have to confirm this with Siri.
NZSheeps
"Siri. How many seconds are there in a year" / "Look it up on Imgur"
Err0x
At least 10.
lllllllllll
Well, you're not wrong
whatisimgurallabout
Mean Sidereal year is 365.256363004 days, 1 billion seconds is 11574.0740741 days. Divide the two and you get 31.6875357869 years [1/?]
whatisimgurallabout
0.6875357869 years x 365.256363004 days/year = 251.126820958 days. 0.126820958 days x 24hr/day = 3.04370299649 hours [2/?]
whatisimgurallabout
0.04370299649 hours x 60min/hr = 2.62217978958 min. 0.62217978958 min x 60sec/min = 37.3307873749 seconds [3/?]
whatisimgurallabout
1,000,000,000 seconds = 31 years, 251 days, 3 hours, 2 minutes, and 37 seconds, that's my answer
MynamemightbeDavebutprobablynot
You are a god
Kusillo
or you know, once again google it and take credit for it
wardenclyfe
God has entirely too much time on his hands since creating Jennifer lawrence
pointynipples
But is your name Dave tho?
wardenclyfe
Well if it is, he's not here man
Pollwall
Did you factor in leap year
PalaceOfCaravans
Oh my crap.
[deleted]
[deleted]
hesaidsarcastically
Did you factor in leap second?
DonnerVarg
Asking the real questions.
AriBerri55
One reg year is 31536000. Three of those is 94608000. Leap year is 31622400. So it'd be 31yrs 252days, 1hr, 46mins, 40secs
AriBerri55
So they accounted for leap year... but we must have used different decimals in our calculations
manualoverride
In 31 years you would also have to take off about 20 leap seconds...
DinoKebab
You forgot to carry the 1 bruh.