1lear1
195258
9764
1198
Hey dad!
Oct 3, 2016 11:38 PM
1lear1
195258
9764
1198
ProfessorMelonHead
Why is everyone getting up in arms about this?
JupitersWitch
So many mammaries have just been triggered.
FuzzyMelox
Hahah abusive parents
Zetor
Deuchedad strikes again.
Myboobssmelllikepeaches
Terror clowns are a thing, I saw a movie about it once
Aoowwww
gun owners, always shining other gun owners in the best light possible
JaegerBombster
People who dont like guns always doing it in the worst light possible.
jotasprout
OMG ... it was fine until the end ... then it became magnificent.
woogigooie
My school got threatened by clowns. What do they think they're gonna get out of red mountain
RumpBuffalo
Next step: lying to you and fucking him while you're out instead of being honest. Don't worry, you'll catch on once she misses a few periods
LonelinessAndDespair
Then the gun comes to play. Killing two birds with one stone, figuratively speaking.
gad885
I grew up in a house with guns dads like that never scared me. Most of the time he ends up showing me his man toys while the girl gets mad
HorseGirlErection
That's what happens when insecure manchildren become dads.
LonelinessAndDespair
You got it all backwards. He is strong enough to protect people he cares about. At least his "character" is, he as a person is an idiot.
HorseGirlErection
If you think disallowing your daughter to date, to the point of pulling a gun, is "strong" and "protective", then this conversation's over.
cor88
I have guns and daughters and this is the best way to make sure you never get to meet the boys they date. But they will still date them...
cor88
I want to meet them and be nice. My daughters know I'm supportive and the boys learn what they will deal with if they are rude
LonelinessAndDespair
You are doing it right. Just dont allow your daughters to turn into whores. Too much freedom corrupts weak minded people.
scottygrayskull
And this is why some daughters have father issues.
thechillpilgrim
Those god damn clowns
Tumtumturu
What's up with these clows for real tho?
There4pie
Hey Dad meet my clownfriend
fastbyron
He's from isis
brinz
As much as I used to be like his myself with my sister at times, you only teach her to lie better
RagePhish
The old shitty parenting post. How dumb
ItsRealTalk
Why are you all mad over a joke? This is obviously scripted, and I wouldn't doubt completely unrepresentative of their actual relationship.
CharlestonWeaverson
It's funny cause violence!
potatoardvarkhybrid
Murica
Wanderlust007
Went on a date once with an American girl. He asked my name, then wrote it on a 12g shotgun round. Put next to some others on a shelf...
Wanderlust007
a few empty, but most live. Told me she was to be home by 10, or he'd use it on me.
cuntimus
I have a story like that. Tho I was what you would call a dick
Wanderlust007
Yeah, well, I didn't take her home though. She found out I wasn't in to sports, and went home with one of her girlfriends.
Whozdatgrl
My brother-in-law's ex wife, who let her teen daughters have bf's spend the night and both ended up teen moms, posted this on fb yesterday.
raidleadergutts
Your brother-in-law's ex wife sounds like a terrific parent to have. /s
YoureProbablyOutOfMyMind
Having bf's spend the night isn't the problem, not using contraceptives is...you think people can only fuck at night - time?
Whozdatgrl
The point being she's acting like she is so protective of her daughters when in reality she couldn't care less what they did and with whom.
IPutAHexOnYou4c6f7665206d65
pregnancies don't require spending the night at home, to occur, you know this, right?
darthsteve333
Wait, what?
Whozdatgrl
It was the shortest way to say "She did not care that her daughters were sleeping around and not being safe about it."
cyberiak
What a terrible garbage person
TAKEITEASYIMJUSTKIDDING
Pulling a gun on a teenager is what makes you a man. Takes a LOT of courage to do that.
JebediahJones
Almost as much courage as it takes to get your panties in a bunch about a clearly scripted comedy video
naughtynoonoo
Wow, lot of people getting butt hurt over your comment.
raidleadergutts
Because he's pretending this isn't a thing & only ever exists in jokes.
Shohanna
Jokes are funny because they hold a truth. Remember that.
thecolonels
That was mild irritation at best, yours is more directly insulting, indicating that you are the whiny ass bitch.
StubbornViking
God, you're special.
sweatpee
At least as creepy as the wedding I went to where the groom's mom presented the bride with the his foreskin on a necklace at the reception.
luxemonster
Are you sure you weren't at a GWAR concert or something?
sweatpee
I WISH.
findermouse
EWWWWWW that's so gross!
shhgobacktosleep
Clown thing is a st. Louis thing.... clowns are threatening our elementary to high schools....we are a pride city.
HeadlessBodyOfSpiroAgnew
Shut down some schools in Houston today
FightMeMrTusk
No it's everywhere. Started in the south and has been moving north it seems
11HappyElephants
Saw an article about them in SC and another about how theyre now in CO
VulgarBear
We had a stabbing by clown in PA.
captainkirby
No you didn't. Please do some research. The victim was the one wearing a purge mask in Reading, PA.
VulgarBear
I apologize, its not local for me so all I heard was the initial reporting. Which on multiple sources claimed the clown stabbed someone.
captainkirby
You're absolutely right, the initial reports said that, but no one bothered to alter the story when they were corrected, even 5 days later.
rathergrumpynightowl
Reporting in from TN seems to be a thing here
shhgobacktosleep
Ok... so the clowns are moving in to attack? Sweet baby jesus we gonna die.... from laughter.
lovingfox
Im in northern illinois and its here
lordpheasant
"They're clowns and ISIS outside"
11HappyElephants
There'yre
IdeaOfLove
Isis clowns, the most dangerous kind.
SamuelArk
Theres a weird fetish about infantilizing daughters, repressing sexuality and projecting ill intent onto boys who like girls.
LonelinessAndDespair
Being morally healthy is a "fetish" nowadays? What the fuck is wrong with you people.
SamuelArk
>Implies murdering love interest >represses affection >morally healthy
LonelinessAndDespair
People, especially teens, need to learn shame and self control. Being a whore will not bring any good to society.
SamuelArk
There are socioeconomic and clinical studies that show otherwise, but that said, your view doesn't sound healthy at all. Actually unhealthy.
LonelinessAndDespair
Unhealthy are relationships with a whore or sexual interactions with a diseased person. Knowing shame and respecting parents is healthy.
SamuelArk
I mean just fuck your daughter and get it over already.
StubbornViking
Jesus fucking christ, the video is a joke.
SamuelArk
And anotha
SamuelArk
So is the comment you silly billy
BahamutIsA
God damn it, it's too early in the morning to encounter the term "silly billy" in the wild. Take your upvote and get out of here.
IHearRainbows
"There's clowns and ISIS outside." Ill remember that for later.
[deleted]
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Meliruth
Same here lol
seloh77
How about an isis clown?
ZardBrood
Can confirm, news report yesterday about a clown chasing people by a park with a knife.
DeannaZone
@Grendies can I skip going to work?
CephalopodLodge
No, you are the man of the house, you must stop the Isis and clowns
DeannaZone
got me good with that one thanks lol
adntom
Who is@Grendies?
DeannaZone
My husband :)
123somethingcreative123
Deanna's boss, obviously.
DeannaZone
Technicially yes.
bjaerven
the new expansion pack is it?
Cheomesh
These are very valid reasons for being strapped.
Hasina116
Obviously you all haven't seen the clown news from ohio. Shit is nuts. I dont wanna go outside
Idownvotefornosauce
You'll remember that forever.
Razrent
Those clowns are getting creepier
NipplesTheEnchiIada
I read an interesitng article, apparently these clowns have appeared before in the 80's and is nothing but a hoax. Always happens 1/2
Razrent
its so dumb tho imo what is the actual point they are just gonna get hurt by another idiot thats scared of clowns lol
NipplesTheEnchiIada
leading up to halloween, not every year. Supposedly it's just hallucinations or people playing pranks. 2/2
Nolfelix115
Ok then why is this the first time we have seen or heard of them
NipplesTheEnchiIada
Because it doesn't happen every year and this time there's social media involved, so the phenomena moves to different cities in days 1/2
CatBlaster5000
Question (I'm from Ohio) we're getting people running around scaring people in clown outfits. Anyone else getting that?
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CatBlaster5000
That's kinda fucked up, actually.
iusedtowantsalmon
Kinda? That's a lotta fucked up
jlwoody17
yes, they're in Detroit as well.
ImNotAnOrange
ya its going on all over
shhhhteven
Augusta, GA CHECKING IN
420blazeitbihh
We juat got told yesterday there's xlowns around the county and watch out. :/ Sutter County, CA
HellYeahDude
Same here in New York
TakWriterOfWorlds
From Ohio. Can confirm. It's been a weird year.
CatBlaster5000
Also, pretty sure it's the context of that joke.
Cheesesaveslives
Yep here in the Florida panhandle (no surprise there) and they've even been seen carrying machetes
theJuggnugget
NJ has the scariest.
theRx
Bakersfield, CA has got clown problems.
MVPHingleMcCringleBerry
Yup getting that in Illinois also
Pockets256
As someone from Ohio, it is happening everywhere.
TheFirstThingISawOnMyDesk
HS in East Bay (Cali) is getting threats made against them. It's freaky man
mytigio
Yup, we had one shot the other day. That took all of a week :P
sergiokhan
WTF America ? You have clowns gangs now ?!?
SeaGods
But fear not! I have a solution to the clown gang problem...
Brix83
TN has reports of a man in a clown costume trying to lure children into the woods. Another report of a teen attacked by a clown.
imsofuckingfuture
Can someone please elaborate on this? What the fuck
IHearRainbows
There hasn't been any sightings where I live. Good luck out there, guys.
SirSeaDuck
Small town in New York here, we have 3 different clowns with weapons, local schools were on lock down today after threats.
SirSeaDuck
Even schools all around within an hours drive had the same problem with even more threats from different ones, saw one while driving today.
ScreamedStableBoy
My daughter is 4 and she likes to tease me by saying "daddy I have a BF" because she knows I say "No BFs" 1/2
ScreamedStableBoy
So when random things happen around the house, (she stubs her toe, runs into the wall etc) I tell her "its because you have a BF" 2/3
ScreamedStableBoy
I have psychologically damaged my daughter by saying that having a BF will cause bad things. Does this make me bad?
Graygray9
Hahaha my 5 year old tells me she has a BF too it's so funny she asks about marrying him all the time
lily10110
I did the same with my niece. She's 8 now and got a boy to give her pizza for being his GF for a day. I think it'll be okay.
WowWhatAWhore
Well a huge victim complex and " put my dick in crazy " syndrome are bound to happen.
ScreamedStableBoy
cmon man, that's my daughter were talking about
WowWhatAWhore
Come on man, those chicks you fucked when you were younger were also someones daughter. HA, take that.
zma123456
She most likely going to become a nun.
Cuntard
*stripper
BichesLoveMy120mmSabotPracticeRound
Or lesbian
EasilyButthurtCitizen
A lesbian nun
DevinNatTyv
No, but it will permanently erode your daughters trust, making it nearly impossible to have meaningful dialog when she's older.
WhooshWhooshWhoosh
dude
ScreamedStableBoy
Despite your comment going negative I can see where you're coming from. However it should be known that I have a wonderful relation with her
DevinNatTyv
Imgurians downvote things that hit too close to home. Trust is one of the most important things a parent and sibling can have, and when lost
TheyNeverUpvoteMe
Not permanently, shes a bit young it seems playful. but it could affect her later if you continue to associate having a bf as disappointing
ScreamedStableBoy
it definitely is, we tease back and forth. I understand that there will come a day around her 40th birthday when she will bring her first
TheyNeverUpvoteMe
Instead teach her how a man loves a woman and being treated as anything less isn't worth their time, and teach by example. It'll be finee
TremendouslyBestWords
Almost as creepy as the wedding I went to where the woman had to promise to her dad, up in front of everyone, that she was a virgin.
theslybanananana
IratetheD
wtf thats messed up. what about the guy??? sexist i tell ya sexist!!!
MoonFaceinc
Ewwwww, no way!?
szepasszony
purity culture is super creepy
NotoriousDuchess
Lol you Americans <3
LargeHoman
Ah, I'm guessing he had dibs on first round and was checking that that was still on. Would hate to get screwed out of a dibs.
MarkRavingMad
the clowns and isis part was funny though
MrMaRzZ
The clowns and Isis made him make her debut
MrMaRzZ
Fucking fail...do it
Nutinbutbootson
When the preacher asked 'who gives this woman...', my dad said, 'her father and i'. My mom was so confused. So funny
GoCorral
"Yeah, no thanks to you, Dad." ;-D
scurve
Well that's just good business, I mean you have to ensure that the property is being delivered as promised.
dumbstuffs
I went to a wedding like this. Daddy was performing the ceremony, too.
LongGreasyDick
Man, I shit you not. I need to make a post. My friend went to a cousins wedding where during the ceremony a stray dog came eunning 1/
LongGreasyDick
Up and the brides dad took out his concealed .45 and shot the full clip at the dog. After the ceremony, my friend was asked to go bury 2/?
LongGreasyDick
The dog by the brides dad. The dog has been winged a couple times and was bleeding out on the porch where the reception was being held 3/?
LongGreasyDick
My friend obvs said no and the brides dad backed up his pickup truck to the porch and dragged the dog off. People werr mortified by 4/?
LongGreasyDick
The entire ordeal. I never heard about reprocussions or anything. Totally fuckd up. Brides dad came back with his tux spotted with blood :(
clone1701d
As the father of a little girl... wow, THATS fucked up... Dads! Do you want your princesses to be happy???? LET THEM BE HAPPY!!!
CarlosSpicyweiner
Thank God for the loophole https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY
LonelinessAndDespair
Oh i wish so much i could meet them. Then there would be two whores less on this planet.
M4Firefly
Just because you don't have such stringent values... doesn't make it creepy. I too would be proud of such a feat if it was of free will.
misskittyamazing
No, it's fucking creepy. The feat itself, whether true or not, is irrelevant. The question is intrusive as fuck.
LonelinessAndDespair
You create a person. You have the right to control it. If its a whore, you have the right to kill it.
misskittyamazing
Okay I'm not sure i should engage you atvall but a) that's not how it works and b) who fucking hurt you to make you think like that?
LonelinessAndDespair
That is exactly how it works. Humans are just overgrown animals. And no one hurt me. I see the world as it is.
aReasonableMan
'Values' makes it sound like something superior or to be proud of. This isn't a value, it's fucked up and has no place in modern society.
LonelinessAndDespair
Whores have no place in modern society. I really cant understand why everyone is pro-whore and then gets surprised when they get cheated on.
M4Firefly
That is still your opinion. It obviously has a place even on a progressive website such as imgur - as demonstrated by dislikes
LetumComplexo
You mean lie to her Dad, up in front of everyone? Because if you have to promise like that, it's very likely a lie.
Shohanna
Naw, most of the girls did keep their virginity. Just they enjoyed anal to keep the promise. Fucking sick if you ask me.
totalwiener
Oh Jesus, what a nightmare. I love my dad but I would kick him in the throat if he ever asked for that.
yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes
Daddy knows best ;)
itakecreditforthingsihadnothingtodowith
COSami
I'd be a virgin for daddy.
MonkeyHittingPianoDramatically
Haha I thought that was hilarious! Can't believe all the downvotes, everyone is too diehard PC. Have my upvote! :)
yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes
Lol its was a joke but haters gonna hate
MonkeyHittingPianoDramatically
Yeah obviously. People take things too seriously nowadays on imgur
dancealittlestranger
That's terrible.
EmotionallyCrippled
Did the bf confirmed?
DartTarget13
my friends weddings they washed each others feet which was weird. also his father was the pastor and made a comment about them fucking later
screamingshits
the foot washing thing isn't that weird, it's to show you're not above serving and taking care of them
sospicy
Second part is weird but washing each others feet is an old symbolic act of your commitment to serve the other person.
IratetheD
yeah we do that at my church at what is called lovefeast. Just like Jesus washed the apostles feet.
BearUnhinged
screamingshits
god she was hot!!
Denvercoder09
That's messed up. I have been to religious wedding but nothing remotely as strict or religious sounding as that
CommonsNorth
I think it'd probably a bit backwoods. Redneck almost
Dios404
So I'm not the only one hearing the dueling banjos then?
SithariChaos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8rUZfQJjPY there you go friend
UncleDynamite
Depends on the denomination- this sounds like an Evangelical thing. I grew up SSPX and I think this is as strange as you do.
uselessninja
lordofthedice
Thanks, Obama.
Jeffk3
TheodoraNorNarath
Perfect.
aeahmg
ALL Muslim weddings are kinda like that (except the father just says out loud she's virgin to the groom)
AhmedAkif
I. Don't know what wedding you're having. But none of the wedding I've been to ( my family is Muslim ) have been like that. 1/2
AhmedAkif
The ones I went to was more. Everyone gave consent. Promise to be together blabla 2/2
aeahmg
Ok maybe it isn't exactly the same situation. I'm actually muslim. I was referring to what the father says to the Maa'zoun during the 1/
aeahmg
wedding: (zawgtok abnty el bekr el rashed) which roughly translates to "I give you my daughter the virgin"
DreamCatcher01
Wow. Seriously?
mursepatten
It was more awkward for the intact hymen confirmation.
Mooninites
I am glad that he protected her vagina for so long. Women need more gentlemen like this fine example.
BattloidKouji
well yeah, but did they really have to do it *at* the wedding?
circlebreaker
*loudly snaps latex glove*
PegLegSteg
Which is a bullshit thing to begin with
Baconmac1234
I broke my mates when I pushed her into a chair
RedSheikah
D:
Xieko
If I go a few months without sex, I actually have pain when I finally have sex again and tear back open.
PromNightDumptserBaby
That's an actual thing??
SatanLordOfUpvotes
yep. hymens wear away over your lifetime anyway. there can be a tiny bit of skin left, and some people's wear away weirdly and (1/2)
SatanLordOfUpvotes
they gotta get surgery to fix but otherwise there's usually nothing left by the time you're an adult(2/2)
RedSheikah
Seriously. Pretty sure I broke mine doing hurdles in 8th grade. Guess I wasn't a virgin anymore at 12
DreamCatcher01
My daughter broke hers when she was like 2 sliding down the back of a car seat. True story.
SwitchPusher
Fuckin slut
SarenStolkholm
Busted mine at 9 riding a three-wheeler on a bumpy road. Thought I had had my first period.
seedye
My niece's groom took her virginity ring and handed it to her dad, like it was a token for a ride. Gag.
TheRaiderofRandom
My fiance has a purity ring her dad gave her. It's still a big deal to them, but I so want to pay to have an asterisk cut into it. 1/
TheRaiderofRandom
*Certain limitations may apply.
seedye
Particularly appalling because her maid-of-honor sister, who got pregnant out of wedlock, stood by sobbing through this little ritual.
Chadderz
That's cold as fuck.
FaultyStarsNoConstellations
I feel so bad after reading that... poor girls
IratetheD
thats kinda messed up. the heck man a womans virginity isn't a prize. that just seems really backwards
seedye
TBF, the pastor emphasized that the couple were equals, and said the church had been wrong about that. Which was nice.
ISayFuckAllTheTime
Well that's one nice thing that came of it, then. I shall allow it.
Shohanna
It's a left over relic from when women were chattel. As if we are not people at all. I hated the who thing and refused to do it at my weddin
IratetheD
idk my virginity is my business and i refuse to be made to feel inferior for what ever choice i make.
CyoCyo
With a name like Shoshonna and using the word chattel, jewish? I've never seen a virginity ritual at a wedding.
mymistake4coffins
What's even more backwards is that us men are praised for losing ours, while women are shamed! I solved it - if we only fucked other men...
mytigio
Worked for the greeks! :P
pistolwhipits