ZLaughStop
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Jan 31, 2018 12:38 PM
ZLaughStop
204102
4471
133
Cybrwzrd
People who make excruciatingly slow left hand turns, and cause you to miss the light.
Juicemaloose
When your cat jumps on your lap to cuddle and you realize their butt isn't all the way clean.
Sh4d0wM4nt1s
#3 Why I once made a back scratcher with some Legos and a claw hand from a Bionicle set. :P
Sh4d0wM4nt1s
Best part, it worked great. :D
APackOfExcitedGingers
"Objectively"...
buttscratchergetyourbuttscratched
7:55 am... Ha. Ha. Ha... I've been at work for 2 hours.
IMadeThisAccountToFindANeatGif
And working hard, clearly
jawalkFlyer
*Hey nice to meet you again!
weerez44
#4 I wish I could sleep in until 8
evasiveinaction
Make comics for a living.
CookinOkie
#9 That about sums up my memory issues and why I'm horribly reclusive.
wiggadewah
#6 Just a quick mission in Borderlands....aaaaaand it's morning.
ManMashine
Every time you just wanted to play Fallout 3 or New Vegas for a "only few minutes"....
kumisz
"One more turn" in Civilization games.
billyjr92
#10 is called “Poseidon’s Kiss”
Bigcurly2000
#10 AKA Poseidon's Kiss
Amythyst
#1 is why I don't wear socks without shoes.
Reaper116
HAHA RELATABLE, RIGHT GUYS?
ImGettingMines
Jeez stop yelling you woke me up
wellthisjustgotinteresting
Guys, can you be a little quieter? My cat is sleeping
Yamaks
Oh good they covered "when your doodle comes alive and tries to kill you screaming me hoy minoy" on #7 I'm glad I'm not the only one
RazorAndBladeSavedTheDay
but... I like when the water splashes my butthole
Starfis
#1 When you have to transport oxygen, but you wet your sock.
NachoPete
DelightfullyOdd
#1 As an amputee, having the ability to put a wet sock on the other foot is the single best perk after being able to fuck with people.
Tramputee
Same for a fishnet thigh-high without worrying about your toes poking through.
kristouph
Username checks out.
orangemarmaladesky
What happens if both socks are wet? Are you just going to get the saw out and get it over with?
DelightfullyOdd
I'm am optimist, I can endure just by enjoying how everyone else in that situation is twice as miserable.
DelightfullyOdd
Wait, no, not optimist. Asshole, thats the word.
ManMashine
#4 just Nietzsche Things
NameNotFoundException
Don't you just hate when #1 happens, @Forlurn?
Forlurn
Haha almost disturbingly relevant
NameNotFoundException
Hope you're doing okay, pal! Good luck with your recovery
ChelsTehHazelnut
Too soon man, too soon...
getadogupya
Jesus Fuck... none of those are even on the top 10.
ImgursLibertarian
I ran over something, and I didn't see it. Was it a child? I don't know... Should I turn around and check? Will I ever forgive myself?
bottletopp
7:55? Wish i could sleep in that late
SatisfyiglyCringy
Same
NachoPete
Right? That's second breakfast time.
AssttoRegionalMgrDwightShelford
Same... If I woke and saw 7:55 I'd have a worse feeling though.. Is my baby alive?!
MyPseudoIsAlduinSkyrimStoleItFromMe
haha, eventually you'll wake up at 7am on a sunday while your kids are sleeping just because you're use to waking up early.
codebrownie
23 years old, no kids, do that anyway. Thanks work.
HernanBotbol
rianstar
#10 Neptune's kiss
guardianofthegalaxy
#4 my body is conditioned to wake up at 6:28 every single damn day for my 6:30 alarm.
james25000
I've been retired for 3 years and still get up at 4:30am, no alarm, plus cats.
djsdkdjsk
whenever my cat gets into my room, he ends up making a ton of noise
Gashunkification
Stepping on a Lego
kevinmullett
Or a heckin good boi toy. Damn those nubby gnawed up bones.
djsdkdjsk
stepping on a lego, with a wet sock, running around without your pants down, with liquid diarrhea about to come out, looking for TP
IAmTheBadW01f
#8 so at work we fill giant totes with various chemicals and ship them to customers, who return them empty for us to refill and repeat. 1/
IAmTheBadW01f
These totes are maybe 5ft tall and just under 5ft around, and right there a little to the left of the front is a very large sticker, 2/
IAmTheBadW01f
About a foot and a half to two feet square, that says very clearly "PLACE ALL CUSTOMER AND THIRD PARTY LABELS HERE". Guess where they 3/
merelyadequategooglymoogly
"PLACE ALL CUSTOMER AND THIRD PARTY LABELS ON THIS STICKER. Fees assessed for non-compliance". There, FTFY.
IAmTheBadW01f
As if I had any ability to change what the stickers say, or what the contract says....though apparently when they were sending containers 1/
IAmTheBadW01f
Back 1/3 full my company eventually caught on and started charging them extra shipping fees for moving the additional weight 2/2
merelyadequategooglymoogly
Doesn't even matter if you can't actually charge a fee. The sticker-placing flunkies weren't involved with the contract and don't know that.
IAmTheBadW01f
Put their annoying-to-peel-off labels? (our giant label is made to be easy to peel off and replace). If you guessed EVERYWHERE ELSE then 4/
IAmTheBadW01f
You're right! On the tote itself, on other labels that are more annoying to replace, on the caps on top, on the inside of the rim.....5/
IAmTheBadW01f
CAN YOU PEOPLE NOT READ?!? We're shipping you chemicals, if you can't read that's a major problem! 6/6
mizii
Who is the artist I want to see more of this
bruudwin
yup what itisbuttstuff said. found at http://www.collegehumor.com/user/6928406
UserUnlisted
.
CallejaRecords
OP cuts artist name from the bottom of the images, and does not reference him.
itisbuttstuff
I think it is Jacob Andrews.
fireeternal
.
DrewBerg
One of the good drawfee boys
GrannyBashy
drawfee <3
Danieltheengineer
No it is butt stuff.
Attackbob118
Paper cuts hurt so much due to paper being a serated edge, it tears more then cuts the skin surface and nerves
DarthFluffyBottom
Once sliced off a bit of my thumb with a properly sharpened Chinese cleaver. Went through the nail and all. No pain for 2 minutes.
Zombraina
I've always heard that it hurts because you don't bleed from them, leaving the wound and nerves exposed.
Attackbob118
That too :D
boevis
When you have diarrhea, and you thought you were done so you wash up and start walking out, but no you weren't done yet.
pulski
Or when the paper hits the hole and it says "GO TIME" before you can pull your hand away.
DiarrheaTsunami
I have been summoned.
NineByNine
hahaha naaah. nah it's that bit where you feel like you're gonna be sick but don't, so you're like "fuck I wish I could just vomit already"
NineByNine
AND THEN YOUR BODY GOES "OKAY SURE" AND THEN YOU FUCKIN' VOMIT AND ALL THE WHILE YOU REGRET WISHING FOR THIS BECAUSE IT'S THIRTY TIMES WORSE
NineByNine
and you thought it would be over immediately but it's not that shit goes on for half a fuckin' hour bent over the fuckin' shitter vomiting
NineByNine
and the SMELL, THE SMELL DEAR FUCKIN GOD THE SMELL MAKES IT WORSE, so you flush, BUT MORE COMES UP, OH GOD
NineByNine
Andfinally, finally you're done, you think you're done, but that thought of "if only I could vomit then I'd feel better" is gone too.
CardboardStomach
Worst is when you're in public. I've left bathrooms, gone to a different floor/building and into another bathroom so no one would know
djsdkdjsk
worst is when you leave to the bathroom, come out and have to go super bad and you were just in for 10 minutes. and you can't go to another
trb234
Literally doing so as I read this.
Willybum84
And sharting.
ChinaFerrariSexOrgyDeathCrash
This one has to be up there
coollama1
Twas only the beginning
drfarren
Butthole Mays: BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
LostCatWantedDeadAndAlive
Crohn's here. This.
HowAreWeAliveIfWeAreMadeOutOfThingsThatAreDead
Me right now... and I have class in 15 minutes
poorwhitetrash
Or when you mistakenly feel it’s time to trust a fart again...
AstronautChicken
When you're standing on a ladder and you feel a little splatter!
Warune
What bout when you do that TAKE A SHOWER and then have to shit again.
mwoodman
I'll just leave this here. Unicorn soft-serve will change the way you poop. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q
NineByNine
that is....an amazing advert, and I just....I mean...I kinda want one now.
Roastbeefexplosion
To make sure you're done, hold your nose and push as hard as you can. You might die but you will definitely be done pooping.
SBSP129
You'll finish pooping after you die
NineByNine
yeah but then you won't feel it so it's all good.
majini
I read this comment as I was pooping. I have diarrhea :)
lazycunt
There's always that one person who happens to be going through a shitty time.may you be at home with the shits. Good luck my friend .
pissant
I've wiped my asshole bloody because it can't make up its mind
CairoLen
You need better toilet paper!
gabiinunderland
Wet wipes** they need wet wipes, ultimately. Wipe with TP at first, then finish the job with the wipes.
djsdkdjsk
No, then your asshole is wet.
gabiinunderland
Well, your asshole is wet if you wipe it bloody too.
NineByNine
*lubricated
ThrobbinHoodz
A better feeling that leaving the house. Getting to that half way point and thenohnotoolateherecometheburningcramps
RobJenkins
Driving while desperate is up there with driving while drunk for erratic manoeuvres
ThrobbinHoodz
Oh man Ive not had that pleasure but I know id be bad. Almost had to get out on a motorway in traffic for bad times. No popo could stop me
MetaVulture
"Officer I am sorry, but I am about to shit myself" "Get out of the vehicle now" "Oh god" "Oh my god" "AHHHHHHHH" "AHHHHHHH" *deploys taser*
RobJenkins
Suspect was swerving all over the road, bouncing around in the driver's seat and swearing profusely.
Lamech777
It never fails when I get stuck in traffic for 1 1/2 hours and really have to go, the last few streets I am behind someone doing 15 under
imadethisaccounttotellyouthis
Gotta shake the colon a bit, make sure the poo pipeline is really empty. It can be deceptive because it"s upside down J shaped.
Heroasteral
Kinda like a waterlock like under the sink. Smart. That makes the poop not comw out all the time.
Totallyscrewedinaustin
...how does one "shake their colon"?
Somanyquestions
I just push on my stomach in a downward motion, helps a lot of the time.
VoxMint
Also interested
JustBananas
Jump straight off the toilet seat into 30 jumping jacks; less if you fall down from having the pants down, and there u go. Colon shaken.
ShowMeBunnies
Twerk
BrockFromPokemon
BeyonceTwerkCannedHam.Gif
theslowestsloth
While suffering from diarrhea?!?!
imadethisaccounttotellyouthis
rltoms949
There's a type of footstool (haha stool) that you can get which puts you in an almost squatting position and straightens out the J.
boevis
https://study.com/cimages/multimages/16/blausen_0604_largeintestine2.jpg Because you and others don't seem to understand this is the colon>
boevis
The "squatty potty" does not straighten this thing out. It straightens out the very end part and helps compress your gut.
mindipedia
Can also lean forward and put feet up to tippy toes if desperate and you can't lift your feet for too long. If you don't have a footstool
igamingidol
the poopstool, some people had it. Some dint, I want to know the demographs. Also for people who left the butter knife in the fridge
SuchaPunchableFace
Is that a thing?
Leithreas
How would the position of your legs affect your intestine position?
Ossric
The main thing is to bend at the hips. Both elevating the knees or leaning forward work
EatsBees
It aligns parts of you into a straight line. We were designed to poop squatting, not sitting. Squatty Potty helps align you to poop easier
Leithreas
It doesn't though. Moving my legs doesn't move where my butt is.
xHeroOfTimexx
https://media3.giphy.com/media/lhSUjPCy2Dxo4/giphy-downsized.gif
Leithreas
That doesn't make physiological sense to me.
InsanityCrab
The squatty potty, they're good!
labmonkey4life
The commercial for it is pretty good too
InsanityCrab
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q I've got you chief!
Isweartogodthecatmademedoit
Yeah.. but that Whole Claim of Ice Cream was WAY off...
InsanityCrab
I should have stopped after the first mouthful, my optimism after my silky smooth poop was my downfall.
labmonkey4life
swarren12
swarren12
ThatJerkYouKnow
I can hear it!
jimwormmaster
When you're running down a hill,and your pants begin to spill!
IReadEverythingInMickeysVoice
When you're up in outer space and something splats in your face
hitman35007
When you’re walking up a ladder and you hear something splatter
Barrtimraus
When you're driving down the road and you're about to blow your load.....wait..