Malkozaine
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We where married for 8 years. I found her unresponsive on Monday when I got up for work. I haven't lived by myself for years and am kinda lost without her.
Thanks for all the support.
If Anyone is interested though you don't have too:
https://www.youcaring.com/jameslundberg-968528
ScoundrelPDX
My deepest condolences. My wife passed in her sleep in February. It gets easier to cope, and eventually hurts less (and less often).
ThePlainDoll
My only advice is to keep busy. Really sorry to hear that man. That's just awful.
thisaintthenameiwanted
My wife passed suddenly 6 years ago, being with family and friends really helped. Just don't sit around, stay busy. I'm not sayi
theresamooselooseabootthishoose
I'll admit I'm biased, but I find daily exercise helpful in keeping me in the right place mentally.
MexicanDad
Feed yourself, hygiene, pay bills, talk to people. Your wife would want you to move on, especially if you have kids.
DiracsDelta
You are living in my deepest fear, and I am so sorry. Put something that represents a good memory on her pillow.
JamesMonroeLJ
If you got a dog go take him out for a walk. Or maybe get a puppy.
FormerAOLerIDidntSendYouThoseCDsInThe90s
RealityIsOftenDisappointing
Talk to her. She's move on physically, but a part of her is still there inside you. You aren't going to get better overnight. Takes time and
RealityIsOftenDisappointing
work to get through this. You WILL move on, but life will look different. Somethings can't be replaced. We learn to survive where we are
sieferswe82
Damn harsh way to wake up. ☹️
hsmith0825j5772
Do your normal routine honey, every day, the pain will start to lesson with time, you're not alone!!!
GoldenSlime
I’m sorry for your loss, you will get through this, slowly, just keep swimming
imgurhatesboobs
If you need to talk to anyone @OP feel free to message me. If you play PS4 definitely add me and we can play games too.
Malkozaine
I do have a PS4. Malkozaine is my PSN ID.
herooftime9000
The tao te Ching works
ISuperBelieveInYouTadCooper
Love that book.
SviXXie
My advice: Cry like a little bitch, works wonders for the mood.
LifeEaterVirus
Get dressed, brush teeth, get a haircut, do the laundry. It will help you stay on course enough while you go through the grief. Sorry mate.
blargedyblargedy
I found my mom this way when I was 15. It does get easier, but I agree with some others, stay busy, but I add take it easy if you have to.
ax2usn
You have strength beyond my capacity to understand.
blargedyblargedy
Thank you.
IntrigueMe
I am so sorry for your loss! I think first things first you need to wander the frozen food section at the store.
HoaryP
Dude. That's fucking terrible. I send my love
Malloon
Sorry man. Have someone you can call when things seem hopeless. Life goes on, but you need to feel up to it.
Malkozaine
I am trucking through the best I can. My buddy is going to hold onto my Guns to stop me from having any bad thoughts.
Malloon
That's a good idea. I'm glad you have someone like that.
igotnobeefwithtofu
My husband of 1 yr. died in an accident when we were both 23. He just didn't come home from work. It gets better, I promise.
ax2usn
Ohhh ...and I thought mine going missing was hard. I'm so very sorry.
igotnobeefwithtofu
Thank you. I'm sorry about your situation as well.
andweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Sorry for your loss @op. I can't even begin to know how your feeling. Taking it one day at a time, one moment at a time will help. 1/?
andweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
My best friend passed away and left his wife and unborn child. It took a while, but she finally remarried, his son is 9 and 2/?
andweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
they have a daughter together who is about 3. I know it was hard for her in the beginning, but know it does get better day by day. 3/3
Malkozaine
Sorry for the loss of your friend.
andweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I usually talk to him every night...I picked a constellation out that is him. Some days it gets to me & others it's just that nightly convo
cinnnamongirl
So sorry. My husband died last June. It does get easier. I promise. Therapy helps but it's challenging as well. I'm thinking of you.
analogpursuits
Very sorry for your loss cinnnamongirl. Am feeling sad for the loss here in OPs post too. I hope you're coping as best you can. Hugs <3
DarthFaul
My condolences to both of y'all. I lost my wife 2.5 years ago. I can't say the pain will ever go away, but it gets easier to deal with.
thdudedude
Therapy/counseling is amazing for anyone. Don't think its not for you because of whatever excuse.
NothingToSeeHereCarryOn
Only if you have a good therapist. Mine was an asshole, and kinda ruined therapists for me. Got better on my own.
rumblyinmytumbly
And don't give up if you match poorly with one, not every therapist will be right for you.
SeriouslyAwkward
I'm curious but what is the proper response for this when it Happens? Call 911? It the non emergency line?
AGreedyLittlePig
Dumb question is fucking dumb. Call 911
SeriouslyAwkward
The question is that the person is already deceased
SeriouslyAwkward
Since they are already deceased I imagine it woudlny be an emergency anymore? But I'm asking to clarify
WeirdyMcCreeperson
Always 911. It's not your decision to make if they are dead or not.
BelfryBats
Call and talk to your friends and family and I am so sorry for your loss.
Malkozaine
They have all been helping me out.
GeorgeWashingtonCarver
Who are the two people who downvoted this positive, statement of fact. What were their criteria? Wtf.
BelfryBats
That's good just continue letting them. I can only imagine what you are going through.
BelfryBats
Also don't be hesitant to reach out for more professional help.
wnxkrayzie
This is one of my fears. I dont know what id do. Stay strong.
CrazyCatLad
Well, you wouldn't be doing much of anything, really.
hopeinhumanity29
This is also one of my biggest fears . I've been with my soulmate since I was 16 years old . I'm 29. I don't know what I would do .
bendomino
You'll move on. It hurts, and you are likely to have some bad times afterward, but it'll be OK. Hopefully you'll have others to lean on.
Alvatore
Time passes quicker than you think. Tomorrow morning you'll open your eyes and be halfway through your 30s. Next week, in your 50s.
MarcoPoloOnPollo
Though I fully realize this already, I think it's the opposite of comforting to me.
Alvatore
It's supposed to be the opposite of comforting. Don't take time for granted, because you haven't got any.
BillHaleyandHisBANNEDComments2
Talk to someone, anyone. Please.
HiIMRickHarrisonAndTHISisMyPawnShop
That's why these kind of posts exist. So they can talk to people.
BackInTheBox
Talk to the right person, not just anyone. One that understands that time is very important and won't tell you to get over it.
Malkozaine
I have family and friends around me. Also I have a therapist I can talk to.
mellowdrama
Do a search for a grief support group in your area. Don't worry where it's held (church, etc). It'll help, a lot. Be well.
CorgiCircus
SamArt53
Get plenty of added exercise. It will help relieve stress and help you sleep. BTDT
Prekeener
I would also suggest a grief counselor. I have traumatic grief and a therapist was good but grief counselor was far more helpful.
mdtrep
Never feel that you're alone. You are never alone.
ronannestor30
RulladenfromFinland
... Sigh...... I need an adult.......
ApolloTheSpaceFox
adults are gonna do the exact same thing to you
stupidlongnamethatnoonewillreadanyway
Are you saying his house in haunted now?
Malkozaine
If it is....Who am I gonna call?
ChancesAreGreat
Bill murray
stupidlongnamethatnoonewillreadanyway
Ghost Facers
ParanoidWithGoodCause
@OP you need to go out into the wilds and hunt yourself a sandwich, ironically they're not on the beaches which are waffle territory...
Malkozaine
Lol
Brainchow
Lol are you drunk xD
T3n3br1s
More like trippin xD
AreYouPlayingTHEGame
I feel like this is a very deep metaphor but I'm too dumb to know what it means
ax2usn
Laughter is our greatest asset. During chemo, I asked how I could lose all hair on my head and still have to shave my legs! Laughing heals.
SpringToMyWinter
Nah he’s just making him laugh.
ienjoythings
Dont start me on the waffles territory..
ax2usn
Same... I would rather start at Cheesy Omelette Trail.
ParanoidWithGoodCause
don't like sandy Eggo?
Counterfit
Go Padres
ienjoythings
I’m more into blue waffle
Alberto0
But theyre so rarely spotted in the wild though
haIreallysigneduphere
The illusive spotted blue waffle
Thunderdome08
Make your bed. It sounds trivial but completing that task every morning can help start your day with a sense of accomplishment
IronMagnus
That might be kinda hard to do with his wife lying unresponsive in it tho.
yourkiddingrightnow
Scramble some eggs.
spiceass9000
Ya it’s true, it’s a great way to start the day out already accomplishing a tast
biggreencow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6OoCaGsz94
danamalone29000
Pretending I was preparing for an interview every morning for the first month, worked for me.
OmikronWeapon
I started doing this, being very skeptical. It doesn't so much help me feel accomplished, but it saves feeling like a bum when not doing it
FarNorthFarLeft
That is the most brilliant, simple & thoughtful advice I've heard in this situation.
AD1CTV
I just saw this lil piece of advice on my fb too lol
NintendoSupport
That was the first step to saving my marriage, actually.
cloudfrog
I did the same thing. Establish a routine. Helps a lot with grief and gives you a sense of purpose instead of laying in bed all day.
CurbSided
After my last few weeks this is the first thing my brother told me. It kinda works
kidfropro
sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K13p1DlsDMQ
UncleTopher
We're you in the military?
PerfectGifComment
drbloodbathmc
I’m 8 months into my current relationship and already this is making me sad. Either I found the one or I fell hard for someone else.
rIOsK
I'm in the same situation as OP, I'll follow your advice
FarNorthFarLeft
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine your pain. Stay in the light my friend.
DumPutz
i have also been to the dark. It is not an easy trip so routine and finding new things to do helps.
girlwiththephoenixtattoo
This. Even the smallest task is a step forward. After my hubby passed I started by cooking myself a meal.
secretelixir
Solid advice
mischief4beef33
I have heard that before on a video
MrPajamaSam
You got that from the fcking video. The Marine inspiration video. It's awesome. Everyone should watch it.
OmikronWeapon
I picked it up from the same thing! I'm not a fan of overly inspirational/forced patriotic stuff, but it makes sense on a basic level.
theangerintheranger
Admiral Mcraven, your right, but he's a SEAL
AlphaIndustrial
Big Mac knows whats up. That was a solid ass speech he gave and some real words to live by
Crumply
Navy guy.
theangerintheranger
Yes suh
bb2b
Waking up to drink tea or coffee and a light snack are also good ideas. Basically establish a new routine and go from there
djhash
When your morning is hell! Go to Taco Bell!
T3n3br1s
So your ass can join in aswell?
ChrisTallant
This and taking a shower every day helps more than I could ever admit.
HabnerCrustipants
and shave.
TwistedPsychosis
Agreed.
fedoraeuphoria
Reading all of these replies, I had no idea showering daily was such a contentious subject.
ChrisTallant
Same. It’s like we’re arguing about two spaces after a period or one..
bb2b
Building a routine is a good idea. Showering every day is only necessary if work requires it. Otherwise, it's better to shower when needed.
ILoveSpicyPeople
You can't be serious. Right? RIGHT? Your body produces sweat and oil and dead skin. Please shower every day. This isn't the Middle Ages.
cavymeister
One should shower daily.
CyborgScribe
I agree with you although how much I clean depends on how dirty I am. I don't enjoy going to bed sweaty. Also helps me relax.
PaganRaven
Nope. Not unless your work makes you sweat a lot. Showering every day dries out your skin and is unnecessary
toobsteakJEDI
Says the smelly pagan.....do you use lines for deodorant as well?
PaganRaven
bb2b is right. Showering every day is bad for your skin and a waste of water unless your work is physical.
CyborgScribe
I don't know. I work from a comfy chaur and I feel grimy and smell like sweat if I don't shower. I live where it's hot and often dusty tho.
PaganRaven
Everybody's different. This applies to the majority but not all. Also It might be partially psychological.
ILoveSpicyPeople
Your coworkers appreciate you. I can't understand why anyone would think that showering is bad. I'm throughly grossed out.
ILoveSpicyPeople
Gross. You must be stinky. Cause your butt will stink after you poop. Please use soap and water for your butt and pits and vagina. EVERY DAY
PaganRaven
How bout you suck my dick. EVERY DAY
ILoveSpicyPeople
And penis!
Malkozaine
My stepdad said the same thing.
MerToo
Sweep the hall, take a shower, plan some food, call an uncle. Pro-tip, if drinking heavily does not work after one night, it ain't going to.
IGotADejavue
That's what my parents say too
WeeZyLy
Um this may sound even more dumb but make a list for your morning routine and check it off when done. Like brush teeth shave etc.
WeeZyLy
I know it's nuts but sometimes you forget and is a slippery slope
UncleTopher
Was he in the military?
Sparrowcide
Also don't be afraid to let yourself grieve. There are going to be a lot of phases which don't need to have a set timeline or sequence (1)
Sparrowcide
So don't let anyone tell you that you're not progressing or moving on fast enough.
GhettoPenguin
Shine your sink every night and dress to shoes in the morning. Don't succumb to chaos in your house. I'm terribly sorry for your loss @OP
iScreenshotGifsAndUseThemToComment
I mean I wouldn't make your stepdads bed but - whatever works bud. Life's a journey. Keep going.
DeliberateMisinterpretation
Well, he just lost his daughter. Be there for each other.
Imagetap
Stepdad. not father-in-law. Stepdad=boyfriend/husband of his mother
DeliberateMisinterpretation
You know, I realized this about 5 min after I posted. Thanks for the correction. And I'm an idiot.
Imagetap
not an idiot, more like someone who cares about his/her fellow people :)
MrRogersNeighborhood
Also, sign up for a new activity. When my wife left I signed up for rock climbing. It was great to make news friends outside of that situati
madethistocommenttomakesure
thats a great way to overcome whatever blocks your head, am climbing since years and it always helps because you have to focus on the moment
madethistocommenttomakesure
2) and can't think too much. and the community usually is very friendly.
DailyRumpToucher
@OP look up admiral Mcraven commencement speech, they're words to live by, and will help you to cope.
Malkozaine
I shall, I think someone posted it
DailyRumpToucher
if you YouTube it, it should pop right up, 20 min video
DailyRumpToucher
also if u ever need anything man shoot me a message , and if u Wana grab a beer I live in socal
nukethelizards
https://youtu.be/U6OoCaGsz94 this is the video @malkozaine I'm happy you have a stepdad for advice like that. Peace.
TrustMeImADragon
This is spectacular!
nukethelizards
Patrick?
TrustMeImADragon
sivenom
Hygiene is the first to go when someone is depressed/grieving. Keep reminding yourself to take care of yourself. source: I'm bipolar 1
Misora
This. It doesn't compare at all but when I was unemployed every day at min I had to make my bed, brush my hair and my teeth. It helped.
Malkozaine
I am doing my best. It's hard for me cause I deal with death a bunch at work...but this was my wife. It's been different.
DeviousLuxray
Hes right. Also dogs are a excellent aid to grief
Tempcore
Until some Russian kids show up at your house to steal your car...
Nccoffee
My first thought
DashingStache
Just don't let them get killed by the Russian mob...
JakeRockwell
Because then after a series of mass shootings you'll be excomunicado'd?
NotTheSharpestSpoonInTheDrawer
Well, going on a rampage can be cathartic
nothingnoteworthy
John wick?
DashingStache
Yep. I guess nobody else got that reference.
DeviousLuxray
Really. -_-
toobsteakJEDI
Do you people not realize what this place is? How are you even surprised anymore?
Malkozaine
Parents have 3 pugs.
Mockingbirb
Pug? Maybe you could get a REAL dog, like a Golden- if you prefer smol dogs: bichons are the cutest puppers. I'm really sorry OP, take care!
shovethis
You've got this bro you're gonna be ok x
NinjaFood
Hey if throw me a way to buy you a beer I will
WeinerKing
Pugs not drugs. Hugs help too...
DreadPierateRoberts
Pugs, drugs and hugs?