GandalfsLawyer
126665
3609
100
Mar 31, 2019 3:30 AM
GandalfsLawyer
126665
3609
100
Dufflinks
Maybe he was British and just offering supportive advice ("roger that")
VesselOfHate
Pretty funny, and believable enough if you assume the next thing that happened is the girl said something like "awfully presumptuous of you"
IHateMayonaise
foot slipped whilst laying pipe missionairy and pulled a muscle so bad I had to go to the emergency room.
OrionKaelin
Well I now know how to infiltrate any facility I want :P
mysteriousbulge
NigelThundercock
Cloudypoona
Absolutely, Sailor upholding his general orders :)
ochermes28
Possible. Seal Beach is close to the Naval Weapons Station. Sometimes I see warships there.
dans6887
Girl was wearing Batman pjs. When I took them I looked her in the eyes and said "to the bat cave". Best sex ever
Raxiel
DaisyfromDownunder
Security knew you were lying.
DavidDelaney
Lived in Seal Beach for 6 years, there is in fact a naval weapons base with a fence and wall that is patrolled at night. If you aren't
DavidDelaney
attempting to get over there fence the guards wouldn't mind; I think this story probably happened.
Paceycakes
Once I was getting it on and a copper knocked on the window. Officer mistook him for a rapist
CaptTucker
GodCommentMaker
Glad it wasn’t the other kind of blow Job
Donttouchmynuggets
The weirdest thing that happened to me was she woke up
ilovefluids
Bill Cosby has imgur access in prison?
TimeAndMemeLordOfGallifrey
HalfIagoHalfFuManchuAllBastard
A girl that got me into rick and morty, I asked during if she was hungry for apples.
crimsomnia
I, too, have heard rumors that girls might be into having sex just as well as guys.
Vyrro
Met cute girl @ MU many years ago. Pre coitus, her phone rang. It went to answering machine. It was her roommate
Vyrro
"YOU GAVE MY BOYFRIEND CRABS YOU ****!!!" i noped the fuck outta there
kojenk
Sounds like she knew she was getting lucky and pranked her.
PrinnyGod08
1/2 Unlikely, the entire base is completely surrounded by barbed wire and chain link,
PrinnyGod08
2/2 and the only part of the base that isn’t a pier can’t accidentally be accessed.
Ouul
It's almost as if there are exclusion zones surrounding the actual facilities to prevent people actually reaching those more physical fences
Testshoot
BS there are no guards at the NWS SB. I grew up there after leaving NY. You could almost walk on there without notice.
notkvothethebloodless
GRA2itous
Hence the title.
hellokokoro
One time I was giving head and when my boyfriend came, as I was swallowing, I sneezed. Blasted jizz out of my nose all over his stomach.
myuncutcocksmellsnice
Have you by any chance heard of a Dirty Chewbacca?
RebelStigma
My girlfriend and I were in doggy style at 3am, when a fire truck drove by with lights on. As it drove by, they honked the 1/2
RebelStigma
"Shave and a haircut" tune, we both started cracking up and couldn't finish. 2/2
Idownvotegunnuts
That is a sailor who didn't want to do the paper work.
CaptGunpowder
I mean can you blame him?
FrostyRaptor
kidred2001
I'm...I'm taking this
NAVYCMAN
Yup. Shit sucks.
Mairoa
Dann right, the Navy isn't going to cock block you.
KABARU
*sea man
Inarticulated
Win1forthegifer
Or sea lady
WoahMyDudeThatsCrazy
*semen
Win1forthegifer
That came after the blowjob
DidYouDoThis
SilverTimeMaker
"Even on the verge of fainting, they kept going until the job was done"
thisisharderthaniknew
Gay jokes are always fun +1. Whoever wrote that probably laughed a little on the inside.
ChickenFingerFingers
Lol, you can see him clench his jaw.
27yoUGLYvirgin
You mean to tell me you found the reason this gif exists?
ALegendaryHero
And the slight rise of the edges of his mouth.
hisdudenesselduderino
This guy.... that is the penticle of military discipline. Bravo ssg
magicrhombus
ReturnoftheZombiePlagueApocalypse
Pentacle? Pentangle? ah...pinnacle
TheYoungerChrisEvans
I didn't join fer the readin', son
hisdudenesselduderino
The best part about this was i typed it, knew it looked off Googed it, saw that it was pinnacle, then came back and hit submit w/o changing
ReturnoftheZombiePlagueApocalypse
Well, dang, son, congrats on the commitment,....had you not, I wouldn't be 35 upvotes to the good!
HFlashman
pen...ticle...lol
Totallynottheguy
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus giggle?
HFlashman
Oooh, I know that one! Ten! Ten tickles! Ah ha ha ha!
thecastleofarrrggghhh
We can all appreciate the humor, even if it’s fake
IAmAngry
Why would anyone lie in his internet post???
PatrikLilja
At least it is possible. A lot of other fake stories aren't even possible. Those are harder to enjoy.
ParadigmShiftingWithoutAClutch
I’ve actually been through that spot, they are usually pretty cool because there are tons of civilians in the area.
JonatasAM
Yea, keep indulging your miserable thoughts.
JonatasAM
But yes we can still appreciate it either way.
Keairan
There is a naval weapons station in that area, so it's a real possibility.
insanumingenium
You don’t accidentally end up there looking for a secluded spot.
JohnnyWalkerTexas
Wait a minute... New York city exists, does that mean Peter Parker does too?!
Blackrain39
Yes, damnit.
unnecessariIyrudecomment
Doesn't seem outside the realm of possibility. Bro code is real.
DangerousNoodle
MrAndersonA
People used to go outside and do things too.
kiara8942000
FilthyRaider
Read about a guy fucking girl on a river bank, and he felt her probing his ass with a wet finger. Turns rounds and an otter is sniffing him.
DeadWombat
Otterly ridiculous!
Beezlebubble
Dated a girl who's family dog would try to either lick me or hump my leg every time her and I started. He would barge in the room
ButterfaceTaintClown
my brother's dog mlemmed my asshole.
bruudwin
ok. me attempting to google this ended up with twink stuff... got anything about this otter?
JimmyDeJesus
Yeah, like an approximate location and last sighting.
BangusDangus
"I didn't say stop."
ElbowDeepInASeahorse
Her: "what?" Him: "what?"
SexualConsent
Otter: *Non-conesenual Otter sounds*
YesButAlsoYes
The ol Pocahontas tag team. Truly a lost art
mentendo64
Not gonna lie, you had me rolling with this.
TheDoctormoriarty
wiillii
My ex and i were at the coast, alone, doing some handy dandy. She said my soft touch on her back aroused her and i was like 1/?
wiillii
What are you talking about. Then we saw a kitty snuggling under her shirt on her back. It was cold and rainy. We stopped and pet her. 2/?
wiillii
She was a lovely snuggle bug for being a stray. We gave her some food too. I was cock blocked by a cat but she was a cool cat anyway. 3/3
shiyal
Today in almost but not quite @cangarejos
cangarejos
I had to double check
wiillii
Now i am thinking about it again, bitch, i am not hairy, how can you mistake a tail for my hand?
sizoravira127001
Was that the only pussy you touched that night
ProphetChuck
Did you take the cat home?