My husband flinches everytime he sees the banana cutter i got for christmas

Dec 30, 2016 11:27 PM

ponyblossombloodwar

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97202

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1951

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58

Just don't

I didn't know I needed one, but I love random presents.

To be clear: I do NOT plan to use it on anything else than fruits or vegetables.

"Bring me his lower horn"

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't call hubbie a fruit, that's not PC

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You could also use it on hotdogs. But that also makes me shutting thinking about it

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

That'll give you the upper hand next time you two have a fight

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You need to post a gif with an actual banana, much more effective

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Circumcisor 900

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'd love to see his reaction when you wake him up, loudly click the cutter and shout BRIS!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

How many bananas do you eat? And why do they need to be sliced? Is it the Phallic factor?

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Sometimes you need to slice a banana for cake decoration.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Use a banana for scale.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Pp..pput your banana in it

9 years ago | Likes 128 Dislikes 3

Anything's a banana if you're brave enough

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Triple Threat. It's. warning. It's a promise. It's useful in the kitchen!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just don't go Bobbit on him.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I find this strangely arousing

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I didn't realize cutting bananas was difficult enough to warrant a custom tool for the job...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

remove your lower horn!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

that's my fetish?

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

No... No son it isn't. You can do all kinds of messed up shit, but don't do that ;-)

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

No seriously I refuse this -- NOBODY needs a special tool to SLICE one of the SOFTEST fruits in the world.

9 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

This would be destroyed in my household.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I have zero patience for mundane tasks. If this saves me an entire minute of time over my lifetime, it's worth every cent.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

But WHY are you SLICING a banana in the first place! Nature's given you the ultimate READY-TO-EAT fruit with a built in disposable wrapper!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

I would love one of these, would use it for carrots.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

instructions unclear. I've made a terrible mistake.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Pp... put your dick in it !!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

This is probably an unpopular opinion but- what a waste of materials. This is what knives are for. Or mandolin slicers.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Holy fuck, bananas on a mandolin? Do you realize how little time i have on this planet?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I don't see why you would want to cut bananas.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

so.. you plan to make him a vegetable first? D:

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Put... put your husbands dick in it.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where the scale?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sigh...zips up, zips up hard and padlocks the zip shut. Totally shut.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"For those troublesome foreskins, we present the new *Never Miss* Circumsizer 3000."

9 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

Another case of when "a little off the top" goes horribly wrong.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

A shotgun almost never misses

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*100% Kosher!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I said take a little off the top! The other head!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Plan or no plan......the fact remains that things don't always go as planned.

9 years ago | Likes 436 Dislikes 2

More like plantain

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Also most kangaroos

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And that's how I got here. Right mom?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I can't even remember where I put this after I made this gif. That was not the plan, as well. :/

9 years ago | Likes 114 Dislikes 0

It gone.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

*trips while browsing imgur on phone and falls into that hellish device* AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Your husband disposed of it for safety purposes.

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Truly a wise man. "Safety First", I always say.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm sure your hubby totally believes that. Well, with any luck it was made in China and will probably break on its first "banana" anyway.

9 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

of course, China! AliExpress, for all random kitchen gadgets!

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I would like to see multiple gifs of fruits, veggies, and other things being cut with this!

9 years ago | Likes 156 Dislikes 1

As soon as i found ot back i will!

9 years ago | Likes 50 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

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9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

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[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Jan 20, 2017 7:11 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

What kind of person decides to make a video about banana slicing ... felt so awkward.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I dono, you watched it though?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

3 minutes of fucking nothing for like 20 seconds of actual cutting, fuck everything about whatever this is, i hate it, hate you, hate him

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

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9 years ago (deleted Jan 20, 2017 7:11 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Fair enough, i revoke my hate for you and redirect it all towards him

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0