Sad yet somehow inspiring

Nov 30, 2019 10:03 AM

Dastooooo

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This actually didn't happen to me, but my dad. He died years ago, but my mom just told me the story and I found it both horrible, sad, and inspiring. He was an anesthesiologist and there was a period where more and more of his patients started dying and he didn't know why. And when you are pediatric anesthesiologist it must have been horrible and utterly heartbreaking. He started doubting his abilities and it took his toll on his psyche watching kids die almost literally in his arms. He felt he was failing himself and most importantly the kids. He wanted to quit and leave it all because he couldnøt deal with it anymore.

So he asked his boss for a meeting to discuss his resignation, and then his boss dropped a bombshell - his boss was giving him all the difficult and basically "lost" cases that he he knew no one else could handle. He needed the best guy for the toughest jobs! Long story short, he stuck to it with revitalised energy, doing his best to help aleviate pain in the darkest hours of the babies and childrens lives. He never thought about quitting again, and worked all the way till the end before fukkin cancer took him from us.

Jfc.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The reward for work well done is more work.

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

God bless him. Your Dad was a quiet hero. Cherish that!

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Know the feeling. This helped me. Think as if, "I would rather it be me giving the best I can give than someone who quit caring years ago."

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sometimes being in the dark about your chances of failure will give you the mentality to try your best to succeed! That man was a hero!

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The world is stuffed with unsung heroes. What a guy your dad was.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There is a story prompt on reddit about Valhalla not discriminating on your battle. He would have place of honour at Odin side for that life

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

thats just something bosses say to keep you quite

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

its a sad story till you realize OP is a proctologist

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

They do this to teachers, too. People need a break sometimes, though. Can't be 100% worst cases or they'll burn out eventually.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I love this story. It’s half horrible, half sad, half aspiring.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He passed a very hard life lesson

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not all heroes wear capes

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Many wear white coats!

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nice to hear this shared. Medicine is a mind fuck and can make the best go crazy. High stakes decision making when tired = anxiety!

6 years ago | Likes 160 Dislikes 1

I'm glad he got answers though, that makes a huge difference to a hard worker.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Mom was an ER nurse, but she started her career in the US in the pediatric cancer ward, back in the 60''s. 1/2

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2/2 She moved to the ER because the children's cancer ward nearly broke her.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Same thing in the teaching field. “Oh, you have great classroom management- you get all the difficult kids.”

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's really shitty management methods. Tell the person you're assigning the hardest cases.

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Horrible boss

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Fuck cancer

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Sometime it just sucks to be good at what you do.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Story doesn’t make sense - as an anesthesiologist, i can’t imagine ur responsible for procedure outcomes

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He kept them alive during procedures, together with other colleagues. But the kids increasingly started dying on them.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't count how many people died on your shift. Count how many you saved/ helped/ made a difference for them. Passing on is inevitable.(1/2)

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And you are doing the best that you can. I see you as a hero for taking this so seriously <3 (2/2)

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Good at killing people?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I guess there is an issue with my formulation, sorry!

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Your dad is a hero dude.

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Thanks, he was :)

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's the problem at being good at what you do. Stressful stuff.

6 years ago | Likes 369 Dislikes 3

"the reward for work done well is more work"

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

true and the flip side is you become so good that you make it look easy. you’ve turned it into an art and this is fulfilling.

6 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 2

What happened to me: Bosses pulled me off a passion project and gave it to a more junior employee because I made it look easy. I was pissed.

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

The more junior employee is struggling and now they want to put me back because they "never should've taken [me] off." Get me off this team.

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

You dig the best ditches, you get given the biggest shovel.

6 years ago | Likes 1429 Dislikes 1

.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I find the smallest graves have the heaviest shovels.

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

"The reward for a job well done is a harder job"

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

A good way to lose your best employees doing that all the time.

6 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

Yeah I've been the clutch cook at Popeyes for a bit now. I'm getting a pay raise soon but they know I'm a hard worker so I get worked hard

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

This is such a grunt expression it needs a PT belt.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Never heard that expression before! It fits perfectly, thanks :)

6 years ago | Likes 241 Dislikes 0

Heard it in the military

6 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 1

Doesn't surprise me :D

6 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 0

alternatively, never put 100 percent effort into a job that isnt your goal, because if you are too good, it can be hard to advance

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Never be the best at a job you hate.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My new life motto

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Wouldn't you get the smallest? So the lazy fuckers can keep up

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

Yeah that sounds like my experience. You do well with adversity, so here, have some more

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Found the city employee

6 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Yep, and soon after, the only shovel.

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

That only applies when the boss doesn't care about the worker. My bosses care, and I get away with shit no other employee would dream about.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

This includes playing on my phone in front of the suits, telling my supervisors literally "Fuck Off" to anything unreasonable, etc...

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Your example only says that you a disrespect shit worker and should be fired. Your management isn’t good at their job.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My example shows that my bosses trust my work ethic enough to trust my judgement when I am asked to do unreasonable things.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

And burn through the witches

6 years ago | Likes 83 Dislikes 1

I’m so glad I’m not the only one that thought this. Thank you.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

And slam in the back of my Dragulaaaa

6 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 1

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

His boss should have been upfront about his strategy. Nearly broke the man and lost a valuable employee

6 years ago | Likes 2223 Dislikes 16

THIS! A million times this. This is the difference between a bad boss and a good boss. Or a shitty stupid selfish idiot and thoughtful one

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Or, his dad's boss came up with the right thing to say to get a young doctor through a tough patch.

6 years ago | Likes 86 Dislikes 1

Sadly something inherent in the culture/ medicine. Also, we all just crack on, thinking we're the issue if we fail, when huge other factors

6 years ago | Likes 73 Dislikes 0

Honestly I sincerely doubt he realized. It's just natural to put your best worker on the hardest jobs.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I had a boss who did something similar (no lives on the line) and I hated it. Ended up leaving b/c I felt I was being left out of my own job

6 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

What do you do?

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Same. Follows the same principle of “you’re so good at your job, here’s more and harder work to do.”

6 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

When I found out that shit was happening to me, I demanded a raise with back pay. Ended up quitting shortly after getting paid.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yeah, his boss was a coward and a bastard. That's the sort of thing you take him to lunch and talk over. Good guy dad though

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I think that's a fair point but I wonder if his dad's response would have been equally as powerful.

6 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

This! I told my director how unhappy I was cause my workload was ridiculous for last year. Asked for help, got none. Finally he said ...

6 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

We are trying to stretch your abilities. I was thinking that’s bullshit, and if not why didn’t you say so a year ago.

6 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Yeah, same goes to “we’re paying you this much (pittance) because we want you to grow into your role.”

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Gosh, then maybe they could expand your pay to cover that stretch?

6 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

That is bullshit. That’s their way of saying you’re not gonna get help.

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Yeah my thought exactly. Maybe his boss assumed he knew, but you know what they say about assumptions

6 years ago | Likes 607 Dislikes 1

So are you doctor house now

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

They’ll do this with nurses too. The charge nurse will often put the hardest patients with the strongest nurses.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Even then, I think even knowing the idea isn't ideal. Morale is a thing and it takes the best to be able keep it up in situations like that.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They'll screw you on your yearly employee review if you don't have mutual understanding of what they are?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don’t do it?

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, when you make an assumption, it shows a lot of gumption.

6 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

(1) I just tried to put myself in the boss's shoes, explaining this to your dad, and I find it very difficult to justify what he did. The

6 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

I don't, yet you're confidently asserting that I do.

6 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Boss may have been doing it subconsciously, once he was confronted it clicked so he told him.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Are you assuming I know that saying

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

(2) best I can come up with is "I couldn't tell you because I didn't want to risk any complacency, however unlikely".

6 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

It was definitely just a lack of soft skills. Cause he was an old-timey dr boss man.

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ass out of U and Me

6 years ago | Likes 113 Dislikes 1

That doesn't sound too bad

6 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

No damn it... That's "assume". An Assumption makes an ass out of You and Umption

6 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Were they dying because of the surgery, or because he was administering too much anaesthesia? It wasn’t his fault if it was the surgery.

6 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

giving the fast that OP hasn't responded to this thread I CALL BS on the whole story

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 5

They were dying from whatever issues they had, following the surgery. So not directly related to his administering of anesthesia.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It is extremely rare to die from anesthesia, and most hospitals refuse to let patients die in the O.R. This story makes no sense.

6 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 3

They weren't dying from the anesthesia. They would die from whatever disease/problem they had, and unfortunately he was often in on the op.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It doesn’t make a ton of sense to me either in the context I know. But American healthcare is different than Canadian. 1/2

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They know the patients risks for sure of going under anesthetic. They wouldNt routinely put someone under that wouldn’t wake up. 2/2

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The more I think about this the less it makes any sense

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There are some procedures that need to be done despite the stability of the patient. When surgery has to be done despite the risks, 1/2

6 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

If the child dies in the day or week following your care, you definitely feel like shite. Many anesthesiologists follow up on their patients

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

To see how they are doing. Especially if the surgery/anesthesia was rocky, complicated, hard and the child is really sick. You get very

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Attached and invested in their care/journey

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You are right. Very caring anesthesiologist will visit complicated cases more than once post op, but they are far and few in between. But

6 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is mostly due to constraints of heavy case load and having to supervise other anesthesia providers.

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0