Feeling alone

Jul 12, 2016 5:25 AM

cocopebbles

Views

97792

Likes

4387

Dislikes

436

Rough day

Just got booted to the couch after getting hit and screamed at by my wife. The reason? I had just gotten done tidying up the house and doing laundry and dishes earlier in the day. Came home from work and it was undone. When I said something she turned it on me and made it my fault. We've been married almost a year and we fight non-stop. Currently live in a town with no friends so I basically just work all the time and game when I can. I do 80% of the housework and work 45-55 hours a week at my job since she's in school full time. I've put off my education for our marriage, if I graduate I'll be in my 30s. Ive tried talking about the distribution of chores and other things but it always ends up with me being the bad guy. I've slowly come to realize she is a child and we are horrible for each other and would be better off with other people. However our religion won't let us get a divorce (not to mention backlash from friends and family) and I don't really have any friends to confide in, so here I am with you guys. All my friends live in different states and I have no one, I spend all my time with myself. Feeling trapped and terribly alone. I know I'm not perfect or innocent, I could just use a friend right now. TL;DR life sucks at the moment. Down vote if you like, I couldn't care less.

Edit: Thank you everybody for your encouraging (or not so encouraging) words. Simple human contact means so much right now, probably more than you realize. I'd like To answer a few common questions.

1. I am a non-denominational Christian, have been my whole life. I would probably be considered "devout."

2. When I said my religion wouldn't let me get a divorce, it would have been more accurate to say that my convictions wouldn't allow me. I said the vows, what kind of man goes back on his word? Agree with that or not, it's my belief.

3. I love my wife. I realize things can get better, and I will be looking into counseling options as well as some self-searching for things that may need to be changed in myself.

4. You guys are awesome and are so uplifting. I feel so much better just getting that off my chest. Peace out.

Talk to a counselor. It sounds like she might have Borderline Personality Disorder. It's rough, but treatable

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

we need a sob story tag

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

If your family and friends aren't supporting you, then it's really your call on getting a divorce. If she's hitting you, that's assault.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Remember it is not all you fault, no matter what she is trying to tell you. If still feeling lonely and want a chat, send a message!

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

Thank you. That's hard to remember sometimes.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Seems like the perfect opportunity to pick up pokemon go. Catch some pokemon and makes friends at the same time. Maybe look for local meetup

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 3

Pokemon GO or Pokemon GEDTHEFUCKOUTTATHERE

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

cut your losses and move on friend.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Just dont have kids, it will get worse. Sorry op.

9 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 1

And that's a terrible life to live if you have to worry about what your family and friends will say or behave. Life is too shortto be misera

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Short to be miserable* marriage counseling perhaps?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Are you saying not to have kids in general?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No, just don't have them in a relationship that's already strained. Plus it sounds like he already has one, his wife.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I was just about to say this.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Same situation. Vent if you need to friend. Don't listen to anyone but yourself.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Dude can you guys tell my little brother about it because he's in one too :(

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also it sounds like she might be abusive. And that is a lot, lot worse than divorce and its possible backlash from friends/family.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Surely they'd rather you be happy and not in an abusive relationship?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Seek council with your religious leader. I'm certain that your religion is against physical abuse.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Unless OP is muslim, in which case its actually encouraged (im dead serious, this is a fact thats googleable)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

counsel

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

and yes set a phone on a shelf recording next time

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

ahead of time, of course. Prophylactically.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As someone who got a dog and didn't get married, best choice I ever made.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Catholic? You can't get a divorce (in the eyes of the Church), but physical abuse might get you an annulment.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

If she had hidden deep seated abusive tendencies at the time of marraige, yes that could be grounds for annulment.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Arranged marriage? It can't be impossible (religion-wise) to divorce. If it is, is your religion really THAT important to you...?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Religion, what a winner.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 6

I'd go for the divorce. Afterwards continue your religion, get a dog, a nice place, and have a happy life. Maybe even meet someone better!

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

Whatever you choose to do, good luck though.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I get religious beliefs, but you said she hit you but didn't elaborate so hard to say, but if you're in danger then your god will understand

9 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 1

Women are not typically a DANGER to men, but being hit by an S.O. is always unacceptable.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 45

Maybe not typically, but violence is NEVER ok.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

My gist. *fistbump*

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 6

No idea why you're being downvoted here, I'm with ya. *fistbump*

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I guess people on imgur think men and women are statistically equally dangerous???

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Actually they are a danger. Statistically, while men hit and cause broken bones, women tend to kill when they get abusive.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Take a moment with this table. Male on male dangerous violence is high because two men are involved. Women on women is low.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

expanded_homicide_data_table_6_murder_race_and_sex_of_vicitm_by_race_and_sex_of_offender_2013.xls

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't mean to be the SJW, but women are in fact almost as bad as men, it just mostly is unreported or not processed. (1/2)

9 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 1

Due to shame, not being taken seriously, it's not manly all that stuff. (2/2)

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Women will strike out against their partner as much as men, but it's much more rare to escelate to dangerous violence.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't know any numbers about that. But I don't actually think it's that much different from the normal violence in % men/women

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That is a retarded and dangerous opinion to give. Women aren't made out of paper-mache, and they can easily use something as a weapon.

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

I mean...you KNOW most murders are committed by men, right? You know most crime and violent assault are by men?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I feel ya bud. Find the good that drew you together and see if you can work forward from that. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

She hit him. I don't care if there was any good before, it's not safe for him to stay.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

People make mistakes and relationships aren't as black and white as people think. I'm not excusing it, but saying that she/they need help.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I can see what you're saying, but personally I have a zero tolerance violence policy.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Physical abuse! Would you seriously recommend that if the victim was a woman?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Yes. The wife is clearly unbalanced if she's screaming and hitting over small things, and who else's job is it to help her than her husband?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Yes. The husband is clearly unbalanced if he's screaming and hitting over small things. and who else's job is to help him than his wife?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're obviously more vested in this than the average person so I won't try and change your mind. Thanks for sharing your opinion with me!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sometimes it's just stress. My wife and I had a terrible relationship when I was in school and we both worked full time (plus two kids). 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2/2 5 years later things are less stressful and we couldn't be happier. We're not perfect but our relationship is pretty solid.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Don't get me wrong, I understand religion plays a big part in many people's lives and you want to abide by the rules stated by your religion

9 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 3

Issues with family and friends but I do understand how religion does affect this majorly so if you ever need to vent just drop me a message

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

However I don't think personally that anyone should be forced to stay with a person they are not compatible with even if it does cause

9 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

Thanks for that understanding. I don't blame my religion for the place I'm in. I should've seen the signs, hindsight is 20/20 ya know?

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

Yeah hindsight does suck all you can do is stay strong and do what is best for you, no matter what others say. Everyone deserves to be happy

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

You will probably find that your commitment to religion, if not your actual beliefs, will morph over time.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I worked on a suicide line and had people trapped in marriages calling. If you have kids, this relationship will fuck them up. Divorce, dude

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

well the vows you took were until death did you part, so if divorce isn't an option...

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

1/2 I'll tell you what I told my sister. If you choose to stay, don't ever let me hear you complain about it again. She's a devout christian

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2/2 She stayed another agonizing 5 years before she got a divorce.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I don't think there is a male on the planet who is/was capable of rational thought the first time a girl let them in her pants.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

No contracts made during that time should be held binding.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

What religion is it? Just out of curiosity.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Christianity. It would be more accurate to say that my personal convictions keep me from getting a divorce. I know Christians rationalize

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

them and I have no place to say some aren't necessary. It's not religion keeping me from getting a divorce. I love my wife. I want this to

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

work, it's just really hard sometimes and I finally felt like o had to reach out and just tell somebody.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

You can think you love her all you want however you said it yourself, you are horrible together. That's not love. Stop making excuses.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

If it hasn't been a year yet, you can get it annulled. Much cheaper.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

No, you really can't.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Why not?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

(1) There are certain grounds for a marriage to be annulled, generally because the marriage was of no effect to begin with (bigamy, fraud)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

(2) mental illness, that sort of thing. Just because it's been a short while? Not one of the grounds.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The first year of marriage is that hardest. Before you decide to divorce, it's worth trying to get marriage counseling.

9 years ago | Likes 62 Dislikes 7

I don't know why this is so far down!!! Counseling of any sort is great!! Sounds like the perfect solution or at least attempt.

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Needs more upvotes. They probably liked each other before getting married, and might be happy if they could work things out.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Probably important. OP should see what he can do through counseling, but consider that divorce might be inevitable.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Best advice! Also, some of that advice might mean taking some time separately (for your safety), divorce should be the last option

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Disagreed, his wife was broken to begin with. Throw that shit out on the curb, don't waste your time on a psychopathic harpie.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I can't believe I had to scroll this far to find someone (else) saying "give it a minute."

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

She struck OP. Are you claiming she didn't know that was wrong? "I used to beat my spouse, but the doctor person said that was 'bad'. *1

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*2 I mean, who woulda guessed?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm saying people make mistakes, and rather than dumping the marriage at the first sign of trouble they might be able to fix it and be happy

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Marriage is a team sport. Counseling can help you two build a solid playbook.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

How many penalties for physical violence before you get kicked out of the game? That should never be OK.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

OP admitted to making his mistakes, without confessing the details. I think only one side of the story is not enough to judge.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Life is too short to spend it in misery. Get a divorce. Deal with religion later. Your friends and family will either understand or they 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 197 Dislikes 5

An annulment would be a better option if eligible. It would void the marriage.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

won't. Either way, it's your life and not theirs. 2/2

9 years ago | Likes 82 Dislikes 0

Get out before you have children! That will make it harder to leave.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hey fellow imgur/gamer. Message me anytime bud.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm 62 and still married to a woman I don't like. Run. Run away. Do it now. It just gets harder to escape.

9 years ago | Likes 614 Dislikes 8

Damn

3 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This terrifies me

9 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 0

I feel horrible for the man.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Fuck. Youre my future.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Not necessarily. You can change that.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I made a break for it 5 months ago, trying to sell the engagement ring, trying to manage broken shit with my family, never been happier.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Somehow managed to keep from proposing -although everyone knows I was going to. I know now that marrying her would have been a huge mistake

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I got lucky. I reunited with the love of my life. It gave me the courage I needed to push myself into the hardest period of my life.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

this breaks my heart and terrifies me because what if I end up to be the disliked wife

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I'm 87 totally for real and still about to drop a dank meme that nobody can resist upvooshing

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 5

You're joking, but I'm 50 +been in the game industry all my life. I understand exactly what you said, and I make meme images with Photoshop.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why have you stayed together for (presumably) such a long time?

9 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 0

Might also be money. Sometimes people can't live on just one salary.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm going to guess kids.

9 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 1

Kids shouldn't prevent ending an unhappy marriage. They just end up suffering more.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I hear ya. I know a couple that is in an loveless marriage because of their kids though.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My fav part of my SO&I is the way we fight. We let our anger out, wait a few mins, then make a compromise. If @OP wife won't talk, itll fail

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

This x1000. Respect yourself by standing up for yourself, and respect your spouse. Fix problems, don't blame and insult.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hey why don't you shut up, it's all your fault anyway.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Incase you were wondering, that was a joke

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Dad ?

9 years ago | Likes 206 Dislikes 2

Nice

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

heh. I had the same thought.

9 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 1

me, too.

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

My granddad told me there are two ways if you're unhappily married. Cheat on her or go for a walk. He's the most fit person I know.

9 years ago | Likes 109 Dislikes 2

Must be some great sex.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well. He is doing a lot of one or both to keep in that kinda shape!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Firstly was his name Johnny. Second do you just keep walking untill you die?

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

My grandmas health is getting worse atm so he's probably walking until she dies...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Yes

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Your religion's not the boss of you. You're an adult, do what you feel is right.

9 years ago | Likes 251 Dislikes 11

I think for some people religion is the boss of you and doing what it says is what they feel is right

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

If its what op feels is right, this post wouldnt exist.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Let me rephrase. Not what feels good, but what feels like it's the right thing to do (whether or not it is being another point entirely)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah it is that's the point of having a religion.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

And but for a few countries, your religious marriage has no legal bearing, it can't stop you from leaving her.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 2

Some people believe divorce can lead to eternal damnation. In that case - the religion is the boss, and they're not empowered to divorce.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

My SO family has a guy who is on his 4 wife now. Religious cultural reason. Lives in UK, is successful doctor, dated British girl, but 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

3/3 apparently new girl is nice. But still is cultural marriage as they met on dating site in Morocco. Sometimes I say f**k the culture.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

family persuaded him to ditch her and marry girl from Iraq. Few later later, she left with most of his money. Ditto for the second. But 2/3

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wasn't sure for a minute if you meant 4'th consecutive, or 4'th polygamous.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nearly same thing right? I did meet family with one men 4 wives when I lived in Kenya, they very sweet to each other. Seemed to work well.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What the hell?? None of the top comments encourage him to fight for why they fell in love in the first place! Find a reason to stay with her

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

Because there is abuse. Switch genders and imagine encouraging an abused woman to find reasons to stay.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 4

Ya know, kind of like how it actually happens. Healthy!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is counseling still out of the question, though?

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

"I am sorry about your black eye and broken ribs. Maybe if you go to counselling your husband will stop beating you."

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I am all for abused men finally getting the support they deserve but OP says it himself: we shouldn't be quick to go back on our word. 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

If I were him I would seek resolution and counselling. All marriages go through hard times. And what's going on for her I wonder? 2/2

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I think the religious and familial backlash would be far better than living out the rest of your life utterly unhappily. Good luck to you.

9 years ago | Likes 768 Dislikes 6

If his family truly cared they would get over it. Otherwise he's better off without anyway. The choice seems obvious.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They get over it. Same situation here a few years back. I have a decent job so I stayed 5 states away as a buffer from my family. Good luck!

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

This @OP please. You're not doing either of you any good by staying, leave before you get kids and are stuck for real.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Oh, and if you got backlash from your friends over it they weren't really your friends to begin with.

9 years ago | Likes 113 Dislikes 1

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Jul 12, 2016 7:26 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Ending a marriage because it's making you miserable IS selfish, and there's nothing wrong with that.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

OP's marriage doesn't have any thing to do with anyone else than OP and his wife, People can and will always hate but it shouldn't prevent

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

OP from doing what is right for him.

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

If people hate you for bettering yourself, they are not people you should give to shits about.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

I was there once. i stayed for 3 years because my religion doesn't allow divorce either. Then said fuck it. Been happy ever since. Good luck

9 years ago | Likes 1398 Dislikes 5

What's the benefits of these religions forcing this one people. I am not saying don't try to work on your marriage, relationships = work.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

But people change, sometimes you need divorce.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yep. I don't have the religion excuse though, I was just an idiot

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Perfect username for the comment (but seriously, I'm glad to hear you finally made it happen)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Literally my story. You could be my ex.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Let's ride this dragon to the top!!! Hahah

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Ditto . Almost be same situation. Even took online classes for my ex so she could graduate on time. I was the donkey in the end. Better now.

9 years ago | Likes 119 Dislikes 1

3 years? Sorry about that. Glad you got out when you did. Also: username checks out.

9 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 0

I always thought I was the only one. Similar situation. Eventually had the courage to divorce. Best thing ever

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Abuse is above all - since she's a woman, you can't press charges against her and have it stick (she'll say she was defending herself) but

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Been there. I worked full time and he was unemployed. Screamed at me when the house was dirty and complained about having to make dinner..

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm sure you're God cares more about you enjoying the life you think he gave you. Fuck the"rules"

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1

If your religion sentences you to the life of unhappiness, you need a better religion. OP should divorce.

9 years ago | Likes 62 Dislikes 5

I don't think he means his religion I think he means he wants to be a man of his word. Vows aren't a thing to be said lightly

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

YOU sir/ma'am are absolutely correct! I went from Christian to Atheist 15 years ago and life has been far better for me ever since!

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 7

Praise Nothing!

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Did you get any bad consequences for that?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

See, disregarding immaginary friends is ok.

9 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 18

See, this is why you are an asshole. You don't have to insult him for believing in his God. You can say the same thing withoutMakingFunOfOP.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 5

Yes i do, otherwise no lesson learned. If we all hug and kiss nobody learns.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 5

I pity you if the only way you can get an argument across is by insults.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

No you don't have to mock. No lesson will be learned from an asshole posting, relatively anonymously, on a website anyway. Youre just an ass

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Dude. Its the rest of your life. Get a ----ing divorce.

9 years ago | Likes 2494 Dislikes 17

Yes, take ownership of your life. (Which mainly means creating opportunities because you can only control the smallest part.) Disavow fate.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

If your religion is preventing you from being happy, it's probably not the right religion for you.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

fucking*

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Fuck that religion

9 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 7

WHOA

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

"Alex I'd like to by a vowel. A "U". "

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Become a widow :p

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Dude. It's the rest of your life. Don't get a fucking divorce. Eph 5:25 This is yr opp to be like Jesus. love her. give up your life for her

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Or work on it. I mean hardcore style. Often divorce seems easier then hardcore changing.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 14

If the genders were reversed you would be an asshole for suggesting that, in the face of physical abuse.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 2

For real - I got divorced 3 years (2 years too long) into my marriage, in my 20's. Now I'm in my 30's and cannot even fathom (1)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

my life and how it would be if I had stayed. I am so happy now, a different person people say, divorce was the best choice ever (2)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No religion is worth a lifetime of unhappiness and a dedication to vows that aren't being upheld by both sides.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Why not try counseling first??

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Because he is being physically abused.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

She should also get personal counsling

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This true. Kinda wish there was a magic cure all but there isn't.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Disregard you contrived religion and start making the most of your existence. It could be wonderful.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

But the point of in divorce cases almost 75-90% of the time ( even if the woman was abusive or cheating) get the most out of it

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Life is short. Way too short to be tied to someone who makes you miserable. Who abuses you. The backlash is a bandaid you gotta rip off.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

OP does your religion allow for separation even?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

None of the big religions do so I'm assuming it doesn't. Most ppl. don't take that too seriously but he seems to be very religious.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well I know Catholicism has nothing against couples living apart if someone's being abusive.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I assumed by separation you meant divorce.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Very good point. The rest of your life be miserable or take the divorce and start new, you have options. You have one life live it your way!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Its that attitude that has created some of the problems we have today. Marriage is a vow, a holy one for @OP, so don't give up so easily.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And when men beat their wives, we encourage them to stay because of their vows?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You know that's not what I'm saying.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That seems to be exactly what you are saying: You are literally encouraging @OP to remain in an abusive relationship. Because vows.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

So much this. Do it now before you windup with kids. That is by far the worse part of a divorce.

9 years ago | Likes 140 Dislikes 0

And the problems are bound to get worse with kids. You need to be a team.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Lol I something tells me those two are not going to have sex, or kids.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

lead is one of many dangerous heavy metal which have been proven to cause brain damage. It is hard to detect and can exist in food or water.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 26

Above's advice is

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

How much did you consume?

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

actually our country tap water is bearly drinkable, so.........

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Only drinkable by bears?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

the main water supply to my house lies in the sewer, fml

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

There is no religion worth you being unhappy for the rest of your life. You need to do you.

9 years ago | Likes 174 Dislikes 4

I couldn't agree more. A friend of mine won't get divorced because shes afraid her parents will disown her and because of religion. Shes 34

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

1000x this. Well said.

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Become an atheist and divorce her. However, if you feel you still need religion, become a satanist and sacrifice her to lucifer.

9 years ago | Likes 81 Dislikes 8

Great advice, everyone wins!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Satanists sound super rational and logical. I'd consider it

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Or agnosticism

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Or do a Henry VIII and start your own sect of your religion, with you as its leader and grant yourself divorce. May work best if your a king

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

*you're

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Also you know what, screw the couch, you go sleep in your bed. If she has a problem with that she can be on the couch.

9 years ago | Likes 59 Dislikes 0

Hehe. Hey guys I know what that spells.

9 years ago | Likes 371 Dislikes 1

It's smoking, isn't it?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Why is a bandit moist?

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

cuz he steals all the pussy

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

See now I'm curious. Thanks.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Me too, man, me too (⌐■_■)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They are expensive. Anyone know why?

9 years ago | Likes 66 Dislikes 3

They should charge you $20,000 for getting married and make getting divorced free.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

You can usually do it yourself if it's not complicated by children or assets.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Because they are worth it!!

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Mine was $1000 for attorney fees and filing paperwork. But I had no kids.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

because in many areas, law favors the women, costing a fellow half his belongings, child custody and a large portion of future earnings.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 6

Because the government doesn't understand women or crazy

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 11

Social control

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Also, it's quite easy if you do it before 3 years; at least in CA

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

[I'll help.] "No, @su007. Why are divorces so expensive?"

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 2

Because they're worth it.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Way less expensive if you 1) don't have kids and 2) don't own property.

9 years ago | Likes 118 Dislikes 0

3) poor

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Very practical and correct answer, but punchline is that they are worth it.

9 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 1

Ahh, I get it. Pretend this never happened??

9 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

The marriage?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

better than a living hell

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0