I did a thing.

It was crazy hard, and amazingly nerve-racking, but at the end of the day I was victorious.

I am now a certified Sommelier.

FP Edit: Wow, holy shit guys, thank you for the kind words, but I should clarify something; I am not a Master Sommelier (yet). There are 4 levels: Introductory, Certified, Advanced, and Master. I am now level II, or Certified. I can officially call myself a Somm now, but I'm no master. Each test gets progressively harder. My breakdown goes like this:

Intro (basically the Associates Degree): There's a region in France that borders Germany known for Riesling that's called Alsace.

Certified (Bachelor's degree): Alsace has 51 Grand Cru vineyards

Advanced (Master's Degree): Here are the names of all 51 Grand Cru vineyards (ex: Rangen)

Master (PhD): Here are the soil types, the producers, the names of the wines, and what grapes are grown on all 51 Grand Crus (ex: Rangen is mostly volcanic soil, producers are, among others, Domaine Zind-Humbrecht, with a pinnacle example being "Clos Saint-Urbain". All Alsatian varietals are permitted to grow here, however riesling and gewurztraminer feature most prominently).

It's no minor feat, for sure, to get through this test, but I'm not done yet. It's in three parts: Tasting 2 whites, 2 reds, with a total of 30 minutes to guess the grape, vintage, country and possibly sub-region completely blind. After that, you have 35 minutes for the theory exam, where you get questions about wine, beer, spirits, sake, and cigars, as well as profit margins, wine laws, intoxication rates, and the whole lot of classic cocktails. The last part is service, which happens in a one-on-one scenario where a Master Somm has you serve still and sparkling wine to him or her while sitting at a table with a bunch of place-cards denominating who the other guests are, while he or she fires questions at you about pairing, bubbly wine, still wine, classic and not so classic cocktails ("What's in a White Lady? What's in a Caipirinha?" were my two questions), as they try really hard to throw you off, to evaluate how you do under pressure.

The next two exams go from 4 wines to 6, in 25 minutes or less, an oral theory exam instead of a written one, and even more intensive service (usually involving decanting).

Thanks for the support, and wish me luck going forward!