GrammaticalMisdirection
258801
7140
186
MRW I want to surprise my SO with a Valentine's Day surprise
Feb 13, 2018 3:22 PM
GrammaticalMisdirection
258801
7140
186
JTChaotic
I'll be single for the 8th Valentine's Day in a row, always is a little depressing every time.
Dimmikk
MrtheOffender
https://imgur.com/fQ0spmT
chunkblaster
I love the fact that she has totally fucking owned the meme that she became
ImThesccatMan
Valentine’s Day is coming, crap I forgot to get a girlfriend again
forgotmyoldusernameclassic
A classic for sure.
yesisaiditnotsorry
Now she can tell stories about the one that got away.
Originalandedgyusername
Whamwasabandman
She forgot to hobble him...again
FrozenInCarbonite
daniePandaSmasher
You can tie me up!
SomeLongAssNameSoPeopleIKnowWontFindMe
Ahhh the joys of being single on Valentine's day, don't have to worry about anything
mburicao
Boyfriend..
aMagshasnoname
Duck tape? What is this, amateur hour? Gotta tie your unwilling boyfriend up with 3-strand nylon rope, duh. Can't gnaw through that!
PullShporttel
Upvote for "duck tape"
CeruleanTransienceOfAllMyImaginedShores
lazysombrero
She's cute. I love her
KraftyKev
Audible "ha!"
bellapadella
I wouldn't mind being tied up by her
HelCamino
foxrox
The one who got away. Literally
AstronautChicken
Wow. Shes a really good actor. That was an impressive display. Had the nostril twitch and everything.
LadyNetrex
Acting?
nononini
Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Too real!
Affray
Step one:
Dillonnnyousonofabitch
mattsall
https://www.youtube.com/user/wzr0713 She still makes videos occaisonally, they're actually better than most of the crap on YT these days
7grims
ahhhhah, i though she was just a meme, didnt knew she had youtube videos
FrankiesGirl
You pick those cookies up RIGHT NOW! They are still good!!
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
She eats them at the end of the video
FrankiesGirl
Oh thank goodness. No cookie left behind.
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
Yup https://youtu.be/_rgzlOAlAkc
theglimmeringwarlock
I'll be at the gym
shivablasting
Fucking Grind!!!! +1 for reminding me!
theglimmeringwarlock
Awesome movie!!
whiskerbiscuit
Never even heard of it? Skate movie? I love Bam. Poor poor Bam :(
theglimmeringwarlock
Yea, good comedy. Adam brody is funny in there.
thirddamacount
Me on Valentine’s Day
v
tehguldincalk
...Clang?
SoThatsWhere
Yours doesn't clang? Must be circumcised, then.
Shewy92
blyatiful
Who she?
rainballs
Lovetospoon's girlfriend ^^^
blyatiful
Sweet
robboscouse10
I know that we're not supposed to put our dick in crazy but I think I'd make an exception for her.
steveracer
those eyes...
jocloud31
I know. They're so dreamy!
lovestospoon
Yeah that's my girlfriend..........
veryfarawaycountry
https://imgur.com/hl8vnht
BarretXIII
pomhub28
Kyman201
"A Yandere is like a tornado. Calm when you're at the center, but horrifically chaotic and deadly if you try to escape."
PyllyNalleMissionaries
BarretXIII
Gamergrl09
More holes to fuck = more fun!
Zelkon527
woozle
has anyone married her yet?
PaulLynde
Oh how I wish it were me. She's awesome
dillenger
rattlebone10
I would love to marry her.
begonedouche
spot on question.
DarkAngelWarlord
I would she is HAWT
thisisbullshit012
I'd marry the hell out of her
BellsTheorem
The hobbling only hurts for a couple of weeks. Then it's breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed!
BenWyattCalzoneKingandIceTownClown
Shes so hot
FourWindBadger
Í would. But then again she would just reject me. And I would end up getting overly attached and well... That would be one meme killed. Sad.
VoodooQueen
Is that the Vietnamese keyboard you have downloaded?
FourWindBadger
The "í" thingy?? No that's my phone who can't figure out what dictionary to use, the danish, English and Icelandic one, and then fucks up
BYERE
If not, I want first dibs!
brandsilven
I'm not one to jump into marriage blindly, but I'd definitely go out with her to see if we're compatible. -said everyone, ever.
Moonmunk
I'd marry her for sure
mathmad26
I would but she'd refuse me
tdvideo
Eastcoastthoughtprocess
She was dating some guy in my town for a while. Not sure.
djlemma
She seems to have a significant other of some sort- https://www.instagram.com/p/BaKJZJSAqMC/
Pokegeologist
She's in Phoenix/Tempe now? Neat.
2Cups
PhoenixQueenAzula
OlderThanYou
Young enough to be my kid, or my second wife.
XanCrews
FatChecker
CuriousSoul365
Brilliant
relicen
OlderThanYou
Respect yer elders, Sonny!
Loxachi
AuraOfSouls
IBuiltAFreakingArk
Dillonnnyousonofabitch
wispu
IBuiltAFreakingArk
WITNESS!!!
ShospleColupis
shit.. valentines day is tomorrow.. I'm going to have to get my hand something nice
ImHereFortheTittiesandKitties
Someone*
dekket
Like, a girlfriend?
davidthemonkey
Remember, glove it before you love it
iknowitsnotbutter
imherefortheplot
Moisturizer
RedWoof
Checks date ... FUCK!
harbingerjo
Use your right hand. Unzip your pants. Reach in. Pull it out. Put a gift box around it. Done.
fivefingernails
littlebebehorseshoecrab
lotion
onecowboytoo
How about a minute off.
onerepmax
Some top dollar lotion for after the date ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
mycatToastwasafatasshole
My husband is making me eggplant parmesan for dinner tonight, so excited!!
DeadTuesday
I don't need you honey, I'll beat my dick like it owes me money
Bonnedad
Maybe some nice lotion, skin has been so rough lately
32countysinnfein
A break
MiniConradd
Shit. I forgot to find that special someone again
Klawburger
No glove , no love.
smooalacarte
Give it a massage in return with your penus.
rattlebone10
I've heard hands like a nice bottle of lotion.
Damiankai
Im getting my hand Monster Hunter World. It's gonna love it for HOURS.
klayman1984
moisturizer
boobsgrowontrees
not for the 14th, but for the morning of 15th get her some nice handwash, the topshelf stuff, pamper her.
TallLightnHandsome
Gloves are good presents this time of year. :)
JUmpmAN1
How bout a nice fresh high five
QuiteADapperAsshole
Lotion and a night off.
justahumanonline
silk glove?
SickOfThisCessPool
A lotion-covered glove?
BababaMoooya1
Niiice
thisisnottheusernameurlookingfor
Hmmm. I sugges vintage KY jelly 2015. Delicately smooth with a hint of oak. Animal abuse free of course.
Prometheus79
Lotion.
ovelanimimerkki
I got it a new wristwatch last week. I think it likes it. Guess that's enough?
Pwningpikachu
OH FUCK
edevolt
Lotion, go all-out and buy the expensive stuff.
ManInTheBox21
one single isotoner
NakoSunao
How is that different than today?
katwa
How about nice handlotion? Your hand will have a rough time tomorrow.
EmyLightsaber
it puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose
pieter42
May I suggest a nice lotion?
CrimeThinker
Mark it as your property forever with a tattoo, real commitment.
MissDashLisa
might i suggest Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Hand Cream. just a small dab makes your hands feel so soft; it's heaven.
MissDashLisa
https://www.amazon.com/Neutrogena-Norwegian-Formula-Cream-Fragrance/dp/B00JKQE8JO?th=1
metalheadmafia
bronypokey6918
Awww its good to see you taking care of Jill
MarvinTheMartiansDog
just make sure you use some Jergens hand lotion tomorrow
OndeBent
shtoups
McSkittletitts
Underrated comment!
gingerlover43015
I recommend a fine lotion, slightly aged.
IStay
ImGonnaRickRollYou
What could we get Ned? Maybe a hat? Oh wait... a razor to shave? Yikes... nevermind.
EmyLightsaber
ya'll go'n die
pdhackley
Change things up and find something big to wrap it around!
ShospleColupis
LargePoutine
https://media.giphy.com/media/topMocFrdFhCw/giphy.gif
wantondisregard
A silk glove
Redeyedguy4291
How about just give it a day off to relax.
attofreak
A manicure for that special someone perhaps.
Martellus
thirddamacount
This guy tomorrow
v
attofreak
Why do we need a date to tell us when to love our SO? Why not every day?
McDuggets
WeylandYutaniCorp
Does it... Does it make a clang noise? Either you're doing it wrong or I am.
RyanBlackwing
I sounds like a massive frying pan
bailarconmigo
madethistoaskforboobies
If you like it, put a ring in it
ChrisDoesScience
What if it chafes?
eunoul
A ring and..some ice! You will need it! For sure!
youroldfriend
Gonna ring it around my penis
BYERE
You're going to ring @AssBasket 's hand around your penis? Do they know about that?
ankegipfu
what if i like my dick
mmaatt8
Cock ring
NachoPete
Put a ring on it.
MexicanDad
But what if you already put a ring on it?
ravenskull
He wrote in it, not on it. There is always a bit more space under the skin. Its also a nice new sensation during sexy times I assume.
madethistoaskforboobies
I meant to say put a ring on it but I have fat fingers lol
madethistoaskforboobies
Ribbed for your pleasure then
zenatsu
Give it another ring, bitches love rings.
Moizsh10
The only B-word you should use for women is beautiful, cuz bitches love it when you call them beautiful.
DukeDarkwood
Instructions unclear; one slender finger now has three rings, stockiest finger has seven, pointer finger has nine. Room for one more.
AGuyThatPoops
Pornhub premium will be free. Use lots of lube and keep a pack of Gatorade close.
DidItForScience
Don't overdo it! http://www.ibtimes.com.au/too-much-masturbation-kills-23-year-old-chinese-student-family-loses-lawsuit-versus-sperm-bank
Xenarion
Don't get your hopes up too much. I got disappointed last year by the lack of new good stuff there.
ozzycats
I keep getting errors on their website..
OptimisticDownvoteLover
Srsly
Iamsuperspecial
Free you say?
BetterOffSingle
The event starts today (Feb 13th) at 6 pm EST
rattlebone10
I'm 3 hours behind. I better double up.
OtherErinFromTheOffice
Whats the difference?
Xenarion
Some videos that are normally behind a paywall are free to access for a limited time. Don't get your hopes up too much.
AGuyThatPoops
The premium professional videos that are exclusive to pornhub will be available for free usually you have to pay a monthly subscription fee.
GrnTigr
4K 60fps
jaydawgx7
This is why I need you guys... Wouldn't have even thought about the Gatorade
rankaleenyanyan
I use laxatives. I get high off dehydration.
RedPandasandDepression
Hand you say?
Armorfinish
IS THAT A FUCKING JOJO REFERENCE?!?!
JoniHallivuori
2 posts in a row!
NakoSunao
Daily reminder. Part 5 never.
RedPandasandDepression
Just Wait, DP is just working on other animes atm
Armorfinish
Look up the trademark filing from Shueisha. It's not definitive but it gives me hope.
NachoPete
Counterfit
And his wife?
HeroQueenofAlbion
To shreds, you say?