boyp31811
105709
1805
127
Aug 15, 2018 10:47 PM
boyp31811
105709
1805
127
trumpypumpyinyourrumpy
What happened next? Will it shock me?
TreasonousCheeto
His nickname among his secret service detail was bull-nuts.
batmap
This guy was involved with the JFK murder.
MemeMeWorld
Did the US want to continue their occupation of France?
parismaker
So, did the US leave or not? Don't let us hanging!
Rasdwatrium
Answer: Yes.
Ventouza
It took me a while to get that LBJ is for Lyndon B Johnson and not LeBron James. I am not a smart man
Rogwell
DOH!
HandsomeJack19
LBJ occasionally had meetings with various staff members in the bathroom while he was taking greezy, smelly shits.
twitch760
Fun fact LBJ saw Forrest Gumps buttocks.
SpaceTurd69
funny, in Canada my history prof said our PM (Lester B. Pearson) turned to ol Chuck and said the same thing in French.
YeahSoYeahSo
..... and now we’ve named one of America’s biggest, stealthiest, most powerful destroyers after him.
vitaminalgas
Charles de gaulle was an absolute tool, incapable of leading the military and complete mental midget, thank him for Vietnam
Lambast
He never forgave the British for letting him flee to the UK during the war.
thraxer
There are different points of view about this, yours is merely one of them.
Xandraelle
You should read up about him, he was very much against the US intervening in Vietnam and he led the fresh resistance in WW2
Xandraelle
French, resistance.
Armeater
yeah we know, we stinck, we are coward, bastard, all insults you want. Always a pleasure America...
NitroPiggy
Says the “Armeater”. And thanks for Ratatouille
AdammGuitarBaron
LBJ hated dress slacks that rode up in to his bunghole.
klikklik1236
Who doesn't?
DiuhBEETuss
“They cut me. Like ridin’ a wire fence.”
degenerator
The spokesman for his bunghole confirmed that in his biography.
duanedibleythedukeofdork
That fact wasn’t very fun
CigaretteMan
I'm starting to see why my WWII vet grandfather wasn't a big fan of de Gaulle
funkmaster40
Yeah what an asshole. 'The war has been over for a decade you can go home now, everyone else has.' - de Gaulle. What a total cunt!
TsundereOctopus
You invite American in for a light spot of war and BAM decades later they've built military bases in your back garden.
TheKnowing1
And they haven't been invaded since.
TsundereOctopus
Give Trump some space, he's only in his first term! He'll get around to it.
KnowmSaying
Honestly I'm starting to hate people who turn every fucking post into a trump hate thread more than I hate him. Fuck off honestly
TsundereOctopus
Starting to? Jesus man commit to that hate already, stop toying with me.
saintnicklaus
The cemetery in Normandy is considered US soil so the heroes buried there can be considered “home”. France did that out of kindness
hillarydufflebag
Same in the Argonne
skitwinkle
All the soil, trees and foliage were imported from the US so those heroes are resting in American soil.
maquimike
And profound gratitude.
TheLastBottleOfScotch
In reply, de Gaulle simply whispered, "Lafayette"
eydwerd
LBJ is Spanish for blowjob.
jdavis1186
*the blowjob
DongFeng
And then de Gaulle did that shit anyway.
QuidYossarian
Sure seem like a lot of people not even alive at the time want to bitch at France for its actions back in the day for some reason.
TheManInTheWall
Dont bitch at france. Bitch at De Gaulle
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheManInTheWall
Jeapordised the allied war effort to avoid minor damage to paris and his reputation, tried to keep the UK out of the EU, etc
AmazonBoxMonster
Super isolationist
OldManGrambo
Fun fact: more French died in WW2 than Americans.
SerenePrincess013
Fun Fact: close to 1 in 5 French died in WW1, & that contributed heavily to their devastating losses in WW2, & subsequent loss to the Nazis.
ApexAlpha
Germany also suffered massive losses in WW1. French & German forces were at rough parity during invasion. Superior doctrine/strat won out.
areallycreativeusername
Well yeah, they got invaded
dbs84mn
Fun fact, France hasn’t won a war in over 300 years.
working30hoursADay
Huh? They won a fuck ton of wars less than 300 years ago
WherePoetryComesToDie
That'd mean they haven't won since 1718, without going in to how you're defining "war". Are you sure about that? Like, absolutely sure?
TheManInTheWall
Also depends on how you define "winning". The US war of independence could be seen as a french victory by some but others would call it a
TheManInTheWall
Disaster for the French as it fucked their economy even more and contributed to the French Revolution
hormelchi1i
Fun fact, you didn't pass high school history
TheDivineUsersub
Fun fact, France fought wars longer than the US has been a country.
350Zoidberg
Fun fact, LBJ called his dick "Jumbo".
ButterfaceTaintClown
Notably, his wife didn't.
PosthumousExile
Le Bron Jeremy
mathnerd314
LBJ is the reason I don't think even Trump will be that big of a deal in 50 years.
felofilipino
and he'd whip it out a lot
MrSpookywasagoodboy2
No it was Wumbo, you know like, I wumbo, you wumbo, they wumbo
famouslastturds
I mean his name is Spanish for “The Blowjob”
degenerator
LBJ = Lindon's Big Johnson
idkalan
And he liked to have meetings in the bathroom while he was taking a shit
degenerator
Kill two birds with one deuce.
KarlderMarder
Fun Fact: Lyndon B. jonson knew in 1968 that the war in vietnam was not to win, nevertheless carried on.
icookfoodandfightfire
and apparently he wasnt just talking it up either. LBJ was supposedly walking around with an anaconda
Randomman96
IIRC there is an actual recorded conversation of him (drunkinly) calling a tailor to see if he could get pants with a bit more crotch space-
Randomman96
because his current ones were too tight there.
vauhtihirmu
Eh, they create all sorts of myths out of national figures.
icookfoodandfightfire
True, but I'm inclined to believe this one. He had a habit of showing anyone who would look
ElonMusck
Plot twist: France doesn't have cemeteries. They eat the bodies.
SpaceDildos
That explains why they talk so weird
EpsteinsWeenieHutJuniors
plot twist plot twist: they just add corpses to the catacombs
SprungLake
They're called french fries because they're made of French people
Imadefetchhappen
The revolution eats it's children after all
RoncoSnackWeasel3001
It’s a delicacy, like garlic snails.
korfjoy
Would that make them Wood Elves?
TheRedOnesTasteLikeBurning
I KNEW it!
assholecasserole
OneGoogleSearchAway
With a nice Chianti
ArtOzz
Given French cooking I bet they tasted amazing.
astrangehop
Being on the front made this soldier's legs tough and stringy so we stuffed em with lardons and braised them in wine.
newdoug2017
Probably anything could taste good with enough butter..
MightyMorphinFlowerArrangers
What about poop mixed with butter?
conkles
...or person.
theros
calm down paula deen
TheKnowing1
What isn't covered in history class is that LBJ was a massive racist.
GotDamnLochnessMonster
He also organized and ordered the assassination of JFK.
AVoiceOfReason
That's not true, as I learned that in history class.
Slamtastik
he got the most popular show on TV cancelled because they called him a moron
michonnedisapproves
"And im proud to be an AMERICANNNN"
twfeline
LBJ bought a textbook for a Mexican janitor, and stayed after classes to help him learn English.
MatthewBaranoff
Nor it his huge dick covered, literally. He had to buy custom pants for his huge dick. Guess he was kinda a huge dick too.
themuttonisniceandlean
He was crass, used bad and racist language, and did more for Civil Rights than any president since Lincoln. People are complex.
PartiallyShavedSasquatch
He also referred to his penis as Jumbo and liked to show it to staff. ...it was a more innocent time.
ArkReload
The original American dick pic.
Rayxzerox
I think the words you're looking for are, "it was easier to get away with that shit then."
silentwolf1999
Giving them the "Johnson" treatment.
EllisTomago
It was a vastly more guilty time.
JakefromStateFarmTx
“If we pass this we’ll have them voting for democrats for 50+ years” granted that was before the big party switch, and I’m a conservative
Phaggotboy
he never said that lol
JakefromStateFarmTx
He literally called it the “n***** bill” bud
Phaggotboy
And? He never said what you said lmao
CigaretteMan
He also stated that the move had cost the Democrats the South for a generation. And...he was completely correct.
JakefromStateFarmTx
Yes he was, the difference is knowing that only a small of ANY American even thinks of race. There’s just too much hate in the news
CigaretteMan
Ah yes, which is why every former confederate state went red in the time period following the civil rights act. Hmmm
JakefromStateFarmTx
Wait, are we talking about the feelings of the former confederate states during the 1800’s or now? I love In the south now, it’s a non issue
TheKnowing1
There was no party switch. The South didn't vote for Nixon and the only dixiecrat to go Republican was Strom Thurman.
Svartlebee
The Southern Strategy is well documented.
CigaretteMan
Nixon and segregationist George Wallace won every southern state save VA and MD in 1968.
CigaretteMan
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:1968_Electoral_Map.png
MofongoBalls
Im surprised by how many people refuse to believe the "switch" ever happened
JakefromStateFarmTx
It definitely happened, doesn’t change our views or personal beliefs. We just need to quit hating each other for not agreeing with eachother
MofongoBalls
......i knew that would trigger someone
removekarling
Maybe I'm not entirely certain on the definition but wasn't it that racism was spread pretty much evenly between both parties, then (1)
GreaterDog
Many "Dixie-crats" eventually retired from Congress rather than running re-election campaigns as Reps. I remember looking case-by-case a few
GreaterDog
years ago but don't remember all the details
removekarling
moved to republicans after dems passed the civil rights act?
GotDamnLochnessMonster
1/That's because it didn't. Dems were always the party of the KKK and corruption. Them passing the civil rights act was to maintain control
GotDamnLochnessMonster
2/over the black districts in their states. They wanted to ensure that Republicans (The party of Lincoln) couldn't influence their districts
DrSparken
... which means that a switch *must* have happened, because KKK are all voting republican now. Or are you drinking the kool aid?
GotDamnLochnessMonster
There is no kool aid. The KKK is hardly in exisistence anymore, and if you want to talk about a switch; BLM/antifa is the new KKK. All Dems.
DanAndsome
Very true. Lots of use of the “n-word” in that White House.
TheKnowing1
Yup, he actually asked his driver if he would rather be called that or boy.
DavidBrooker
That's back in style circa January 2017, from what I'm reading.
GotDamnLochnessMonster
More like 2008. Racism was nearly dead in the U.S. until Obama started a war on police and white people.
skuz95
And weirdly, singed the civil rights act of 1964.
GotDamnLochnessMonster
He said he'd "have those n***ers voting democrat for the next 200 years". He signed it as an act of enslavement.
skuz95
Not an excuse, just an observation or the contradictions people can be.
TheKnowing1
Republicans didn't give him a choice.
CigaretteMan
Really? That's interesting, considering that Democrats held strong majorities in both houses of Congress at the time.
GetlnLoserWereGonnaOffendEveryone
He sang the fuck out of it, too
DavidBrooker
This quote is attributed to US Secretary of State Dean Rusk, rather than LBJ, and affected all of NATO in addition to the United States. 1/2
TimeWarpMashup
Good work you
matthdew
Thank you, these "history" posts of falsely attributed quotes and false facts are cancer.
Imalwaysready
It's both. LBJ told Rusk to ask him if that included the cemeteries. He didn't want to; LBJ made him. So Rusk did formally ask de Gaulle.
ibeandrew
Big dick energy
bobbynixon
Yeah LBJ be more like, “kill JFK... then set up someone, then we’ll kill that guy... then we’ll kill the guy that killed that guy”
helloassholes
Now you are on the hit list
DavidBrooker
British and Canadian troops also withdrew from France. France did not re-join NATO's combined command structure until Sarkozy in 2009. 2/3
DavidBrooker
It has still not re-joined NATO's Nuclear Planning Group, and has never committed its nuclear weapons or submarines to the alliance. 3/3
DrunkBearsFight91
Fuck france
communicationbreakdown
I can remember when i was a kid in the 90s that france was in hot water due to nuclear testing on various atols. Dang frogs got mad!
HectoProtecto
TIL
turbodog
All I know is, fucking frogs used to make us fly all the way around them when they were being bitches. 8 more hours in a C-130 fuck you.
jamesgreene
Thank you for your service
peeweepeterson
Fuck him. He signed up for it. You don’t thank me for my service when scrub your toilet
maninthedarkness
...but stay off le lawn
HOOLIGAN54
Well that was intriguing, thank you for sharing your knowledge kind internet being.
GetlnLoserWereGonnaOffendEveryone
Yeah but I fact checked and it’s almost all made up.
GetlnLoserWereGonnaOffendEveryone
Jk I lied.
mmartin762
probably to their benefit. france re-uses its spent fuel rods for nuclear energy over and over, utilizing the full potential of nuclear 1/2
mmartin762
energy, and making it an almost zero polluting energy source. We, on the otherhand, have to bury it after one use due to that agreement. 2/2
DojoHero
How?!
mmartin762
which is why its generally misunderstood in the U.S.
FreelanceSpermDonor
Good for them for being so prideful. It's not like any country has ever helped them after they were invaded or conquered.
QuidYossarian
Not like their military wasn’t one of the biggest reasons America exists in the first place or anything.
FreelanceSpermDonor
Excellent point and I believe we attempted to repay that debt on every occasion offered.
ArkReload
The Prussians and Dutch deserve more credit than the French
BlueHoundZulu
Arguably it isnt the contemporary French government that helped us. They French Govt has changed like 3 times since the Rev War.
xoverthirtyx
France kicked SO much ass in WW1
ArkReload
France had the most intentional friendly fire incidents of the war.
Cyzyk
So did England and Germany. Unfortunately in WW1 they were mostly kicking their own asses.
rivitingone
But don't forget that without France the United States of America wouldn't exists.
ChrisCandel
Cinco de Mayo was actually a battle after the civilwar in which France fought off (Spanish? Mexican?) Trying to take advantage of wartorn US
seanrus16OG
Ditto for the other way round. And yes, we are grateful for France's help in our War for Independence.
fleacollerindustry
As a foreigner learning US history: that depends. The US was aided by the Ancien Regime. The later Revolutionaries told the US to fuck off.
PoorBoyChevelle
Damn United States, just another foriegn-backed insurgency. Proof that the victors write history.
helloassholes
And without the US the world would be Argentina
DeathCertificate
...and other jokes you can tell yourself.
primusnominetandemnomine
Remember that time the French got their asses kicked in Nam, and when America tried to help they also got their asses kicked? good times
ilikeyourpics
You’re not wrong but you never know, it might justice taken significantly longer. We will probably never know though.
QuidYossarian
Ehhhh it’s pretty clear we wouldn’t. Even Washington said we got lucky af and that was *with* France’s help.
ilikeyourpics
Just have*
CR500rider
No, they needed the US. Flame away
rivitingone
We're talking about the American revolution. France stepped in to support us. Without that support the United States wouldn't have been.
ScorchedEarthMotherFucker
And without the US, France would be part of Germany..
Cheomesh
I think you mean the Soviet Union.
TheFriendliestGiant
Sowould you say then that, as an investment, America really paid off for the French?
stukajr
And without Germany, this wouldn't even be a discussion...
aCartographer
So without France, France would be part of Germany
Tutor
US joined the war so France wouldn't become part of Soviet Union. The war was already pretty much at its end when US forces landed Europe
ArchAzazel
That certainly is an interesting take. I'd argue the war wasn't almost over at that point, seeing as it took the burning of Berlin to end it
sexymeetzey
Which war are you talking about? Certainly not WWII and even the great war is a pretty far stretch on that point.
Tutor
Considering that half of Germany DID become part of the Soviet bloc without the help of the US, it's not a stretch at all
sexymeetzey
WWII was in no way over when the US joined, we were involved at DDay for fucks sake.
TheDivineUsersub
By that logic, it would be a part of Germany if it weren't for England as well. And Canada/Australia.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
And especially without Russia.
irishScott
There would have been no invasion of Normandy without US troops
forgotmyoldusernameclassic
The Germans were already on the ropes because of the war in the East. Normandy sped things up but wasn't essential.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
The war would have been over before rhe US even joined if it weren't for the others. The US is like the relief pitcher that comes in in /1
sexymeetzey
Absolute nonsense. Without lend lease the war grinds to a halt and Germany digs in. The war lasted 3 years after Torch, it wasnt over.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
the 9th inning and then claims they won the game. When the rest of the team was already there the entire time. /2
SerenePrincess013
Let's not forget that something like 1 in 5 French died in WW1, and they simply didn't have the manpower to fight the Germans in WW2.
ArchAzazel
Plus Belgium, who wanted to stay neutral, chose not to extend the Maginot into their territory. Not to shame them, I understand why.
Ihatenumbersinusernames
France had the largest army in the world at the outbreak of ww2. Both in planes tanks and men. Only the British high Seas fleet was larger.
Imalwaysready
Not true in the least. Deaths in France in WWI were just over 4% of the total population (military and civilian, about 1.7M out of 40M >>
Imalwaysready
population. No where near 20%). In total all Entente Powers lost less than 1.2% of their total populations to the Central Powers loss of 5%.
ArchAzazel
I think he meant those casualty figures are solely about French Men aged 18 - 28, in which 60% of whom died or where permanently maimed.