JohnnyUtahFBI
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Are you sure about that, "professor"?
Feb 26, 2018 9:35 PM
JohnnyUtahFBI
271956
10265
405
MG4evz
Lockhart and loaded.
moghraidh
At least Professor Lockhart's stories are all real. He just stole them from other great wizards and witches.
BelfryBats
cousteau
This is not the first time I've seen Trump compared to Lockheart. Someone said that some time ago.
PookyButt
I am usually always sick of hearing about anything to do with Trump. But this 1 is amazing
CMDRKrikos
+1 for the bone spurs tag
Kelevra732
dragonfliesfantasize
Just build a wall between the shooter and the victims. Duhhhh
XoxSmotpokerxoX
Should be top comment. I'm surprised building a wall around schools was not his 1st solution
baronvk
Coach Aaron Freis went in without a weapon. He's not the only human with a pair of balls you know.
ArugulaZ
Between him and Trump he was.
Madsjuul
imbugss
Oh God...More lies
HeadlineNews
Yea... THIS guy
v Shining bravery.
mickeymouseshoes
SpankyButtSniff
His quote reminds me of The Dead Zone plot. Active shooter and crazy politician using baby as a human shield... Sounds about right.
TheInternetShouldHaveAClosingTimeSoICouldSleep
If only he didnt have those damn bone spurs, he could have single handedly ended the war early!
localgnome
I GOT bone spurs from wearing military "standard issue" boots. I wish I had known I could have avoided the draft that way.
silentxzero
Only if you had a rich daddy.
highwayheater
Don't be belittling Lockhart now. He's a true hero - according to all sources. Anyone who says otherwise is fake news.
Callistan
I didn’t know Rita Skeeter was on Imgur
Hoptimonium
If John McCain said this, I would believe him. That man is a true patriot. Trump is a 5 time draft dodger, a liar, and a coward.
javer80
I respect McCain's military service. But trust him to strongly decry injustice, cowardice, and mayhem on Friday, then vote for it on Monday.
Kangadilla
"I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her." - Gilderoy Lockhart.
somenerandom
It just hit me that...technically, TECHNICALLY that's not a lie.
DarkBadTheShameless
Son of a bitch...
Zappit
He totally would have, too, if not for those pesky bone spurs.
Strummer16
Fuck me, I saw this on the news tonight. What a twat.
skibo88
I was just talking with my wife about this. No one could ever possibly know if they have it in them to face something like this. 1/?
skibo88
I served in the army and went to Afghanistan. When shit gets dangerous, fight or flight comes alive. No one really knows which way 2/3
skibo88
They’ll go. I feel awful for that policeman. Can you imagine the guilt he is going to feel for the rest of his life?...
MurtBaclinBFI
He dodged Draft five times people
C0BALTCHA0S
I got a Twitter just to post that on his Twitter.
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skibo88
Not with that fat orange face
lostnortherner
Captain Bone Spurs.
gnovice
*Cadet
DMGuy
*cadet
captjackvane
THANK YOU.gif
lostnortherner
He also witnessed an 80 yr old man fall, hit his head and lie in a puddle of his own blood. Trump described turning away from it and being -
lostnortherner
disgusted that the "beautiful marble floors" were getting covered in blood. He did nothing and said none of the other rich ppl around him -
lostnortherner
did anything, they all turned away, despite the mans wife screaming. Some nearby Marines ran over to help and carried the man out. Trump -
ArugulaZ
Eddie Vedder said it best: The haves have not a fucking clue.
lostnortherner
then said the next day he made sure someone cleaned the floors up right away, but didn't check on the man who had fallen. What a hero!
corneliusgansevoort
Is this a real thing?
Curadh
THIS IS PERFECT!!!!!
DaniaAudax
Comet260
drunkmastered
Spontaneous bone spurs. The bane of all courageous men.
CliffCarter
Spontaneous bone spurs.....sounds like a totally useless X-Men super power. No wonder he always got left behind to 'guard' the school.
diictodon
tourettesguy54
What is this referencing?
SaraFourImgur
Naruto
TanDumpLord
Professor Lockhart from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets compared to Trump's last golden nugget of wisdom.
feckith
"Honestly, don't you ... read", stated Hermione.
diabeardo
Yourfavoritebandsucks1974
I have no idea where you were going with this, but thanks!
jsktrogdor
Lockhart is a character who writes autobiographical journals of his amazing feats. But really he just steals the stories from other people.
Dreigiau
not just steals - he takes the story and literally wipes their memory of ever doing it
hoopinghannah
Well yeah I know the harry potter bit, but what else is it referencing? What happened with trump now? Do I even want to know?
hoopinghannah
Nvmd. Found a link further down. Apparently this is where I get my news now.
elimarion
MRW he claimed that
PaleChixAreMyFetish
Too soon. :(
pizzapartyhard
ILikeClipperShips
That's MRW he says anything!
zoomer296
"Pottah".
TimTamSlam128
override367
Oh come on I fully believe him, sure his bone spurs would stop him, but his crippling disability holds him back surely
DrPizzazz
RIP Alan Rickman, bestest, if onliest, of Snape actors.
SorDavos
Not the onliest if you count A Very Potter Musical.
kodiak931155
Or the porn parody
TiGRIOSindustriesRnD
Or Puppet Pals. "I am Snape, the potions mastah."
THEREAINTNOWEEPININTHISHOME
Been hearing posturing like that for years, and it's obvious they've never been remotely in a situation where a gun has been fired in anger.
ThomasBankstonwerwerwerew
Not a gun but he made his driver stop the car so he could stop a mugger beating a man with a bat
srsfaceI8C
It's coming from a dude in who was terrified of a guy who approached his podium duing the campaign trail.
lawlschool88
Yeah, this is coming from the dude who dodged the draft because of bone spurs
ThomasBankstonwerwerwerew
Well....I mean he made his driver stop so he could stop a mugging where a man was being beat in the head and chest with a bat
lawlschool88
For real? Sauce?
ThomasBankstonwerwerwerew
filben7
Trump also claims he stopped a mugging one time when the dude had a baseball bat. Im not joking, that is real.
PaleChixAreMyFetish
Are... Are you questioning glorious leader??
rrlyrae
by which he means the time he and his dad mugged one of their tenants for his rent money with b-ball bat, and later claimed he never paid.
MatrimBloodyCauthon
This is sounding eerily like Kim Jun Un's "accomplishments"
cousteau
He also did 11 holes in one the first time he played golf.
cousteau
Or wait, maybe I'm thinking of someone else.
someweirdguy2
they're becoming more similar every day...
TheosophicBlues
Similar mindset. A narcesstic sociopath surrounded by craven sycophants.
Idownvotegunnuts
Now we need a parade to honor Trump's hypothetical bravery.
sundaymondayhippyday
We just had one! I’m from the future....the memory charms are still a thing
AlwaysandEventuallyHannah
Let's award him the first Trumpy! An award to recognise spectacular bravery that never happened and was exhibited from a position of safety!
Majordicklawn
Pretend bravery award:
v
gunshowzero
Don’t give them any ideas! >_<
MMAgCh
A hypothetical parade.
ThailandExpress
WE could give him another medal, for the uniform he is about to start wearing lol
?1
JayEnfield
Remember when Al Carson said same thing and then it came out that he was mugged in a Popeye's before and he directed the shooter to cashier?
TanithRosenbaum
How about a hypothetical parade...
ThailandExpress
HEY HEY HEY Trump is no coward! He had his own personal Vietnam!
TiGRIOSindustriesRnD
Something makes me suspect that if we were to issue any STI testing from an outside source, somebody would fail spectacularly.
ctws
http://www.mypalmbeachpost.com/rf/image_medium/Pub/p9/MyPalmBeachPost/2018/02/11/Images/newsEngin.21097163_PPBP-021118-edtoon-WILKINSON.jpg
Idownvotegunnuts
Liked this one, but if Trump ever got his military parade I think he would wear one of those Generalissimo outfits with jodhpurs and medals
yabbadabbaderpityderpdurpderp
They could always give him the nobel peace prize!
Idownvotegunnuts
Something the right wing wont like: Obama earned that award for not being Bush. That is how happy the world was to get rid of Bush.
breothskin
EgonsSlinky
Even Obama expressed exasperation that they gave him the award. Says more about the state of the world at that time than it says about Obama
DarkSock
OlMuskybackatitagain
TerriMessy
Never thought I'd say Lockhart was more competent than anyone but he at least had most of wizarding Britain convinced
theoneontheleftintheback
why can i not favorite a comment?
stalkerofstorms
He was also very skilled with memory charms, wasn't he? So at least there was SOMETHING he did well.
needanamedammit
He was extremely skilled at them, yes.
SomeCrazyNerd
In the books it's suggested he was actually a natural talent but was so spoiled he only bothered with the things he was best at.
stalkerofstorms
I gotta reread the books sometime. Haven't read them since I was a kid but I've always loved them.
somenerandom
He was actually great at maintaining his act as long as he didn't practically have to do any real shit. He could've had a very succesful >
somenerandom
life as an actor or some shit. Hell, probably even just if he'd never gone to Hogwarts to teach.
HypocriticalBastard
To be fair, he probably would have been murdered by Voldemort later on if he hadn't blown it since he might have been considered a threat
SorDavos
People would expect him to pick a side in the Second Wizarding War. Especially due to his alleged experience with werewolves.
samsonguy920
Imagine if he applied his bullshit and acting skills to Defense against the Dark Arts. I'd sure there'd be a place for that.
SorDavos
That is basically old-school Constantine.
breothskin
One of the many great NRA lies: “all it takes to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun”. Utter tripe.
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DL00P
But what if.. none of them had guns..
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MisterDictionary
Maybe, but the whole 'wait for the cops to come save you' doesn't really work out when they refuse to enter the building.
TheGreatAndPowerfulSage
That *is* all it takes, assuming the good guy with a gun is not a coward like those cops at the school.
boom1chaching
Well, that's the idea behind the military, too...
turbodog
Yeah, those guys just want to go back, turn in their shit to the armory ("motherfucker, it's clean just take my shit") and rack out.
darkdragonempress
Training and conditioning are very important factors. Things military generally has.
boom1chaching
I usually hope someone with conceal or open carry also went to the classes and earned the license for it.
darkdragonempress
Those classes will range in decent to laughable depending on state. But that covers training only. Conditioning is vital too. Which most 1
darkdragonempress
People generally don’t get. 2
somenerandom
No, that's "all it takes is a good guy with a gun and a shitload of expensive, professional combat and mental training".
vampirehedgehog
"All it takes to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a Hellfire missile."
boom1chaching
I can tell you first hand, most of the people handed a weapon in the military aren't as trained as someone would expect...
boom1chaching
I'm not saying we aren't trained. I'm just saying it isn't as extensive as you would want.
somenerandom
While may be true, I'm guessing you're better trained than someone who goes to a range to shoot at targets for a couple hours on weekends?
SIRTOXIC13
Er, that's exactly what happened when a guy was shooting up a church recently, random NRA guy went to his truck, got his gun and stopped it.
Trelkeen
Dont bring reality into their hate fantasy... It's ruins it for their fragile tide pod eating minds.... You're so rude
stukajr
Yeah, that portion of the story is not talked about very much. The bad guy appears to have gotten hit in exchange, siting multiple wounds
TheFoxCouncil
After he had already killed quite a few people. The bad guy with a gun will always have a head start.
SIRTOXIC13
Until people develop clairvoyant abilities, bad guys will always have a head start on everything. Minority Report doesn't exist.
TheFoxCouncil
Exactly! That's my point. So the only solution is to try to make it so that the bad guy doesn't have access to a gun in the first place.
SIRTOXIC13
That is going to be impossible for several reasons, including 3D printing, Mexico. Don't bring up islands like UK and Australia as examples.
lostnortherner
Right, but that's one time out of over 200 school/church shootings since Columbine.
SIRTOXIC13
Context is very important, none more important than for this case, where 4 officers w/ guns+armor refused to go in and stop the shooting.
stukajr
Sounds like unpopular opinion, but police is the only line of defense disarmed populace has. And in case of this shooting - police failed.
SIRTOXIC13
Which is to say, there were no good guys with guns there, only a bad guy, and 4 cowards with guns.
TheGreenHornet
Still, it's a shame the cop on site couldn't do anything. People always think they will be a hero until it gets real.
SmellingThePsychosphere
'couldn't'... I get your point, but that's what we hire them to do. I wouldn't run into a burning house... so I don't sign on to the FD.
Yossarian9
For all the cop knew the shooter was at a vantage point sniping people, nobody with a brain would run in, mmmm, maybe Trump would have.
Klaaism
Guy probably thought he had a safe cushy job collecting a government paycheck. According to students, he wasn't around much visibly.
ahbiteme
He says he didn't run into the school coz he thought the shooting was outside http://time.com/5176090/scot-peterson-not-coward-parkland-cop/
Fauxtool
it was 4 cops and they stopped emts from going in
ahbiteme
I'm not from the US, so I don't get all the details. Regardless, I think it's poor form to rip this guy to shreds, esp the President.
SilverFish0
Poor guy, no one expects a shooting all the time. Shitty job I guess 50 50 flip, hero or life ruined. I guess there's a video though
zippydee
Pretty much. Anyone less than a combat trained soldier will pretty much freeze up, let alone take down someone with a rifle
SilverFish0
Was he a legit cop? I know they have training for this kind of stuff, I'm not sure the training is just run in guns a balzing though
TheGreenHornet
He was right to wait on back up, but once backup showed, something should have been done.
somenerandom
Or (probably) worse, panic, try to help and just end up shooting innocent kids themself.
zippydee
Yea, or real cops come in, see the dude shooting and he gots shot, mistakenly as the attacker. Arming teachers is so damn retarded
callmethelizardqueen
Didn't a resource officer stop Columbine?
callmethelizardqueen
N/m was thinking of the shootout with the officer. I know other resource officers have confronted shooters.
Individualsocksinthewashingmachine
No
TheLateKnight
No a couple of kids named Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed the Columbine shooters.
callmethelizardqueen
I know their names but I refuse to write any shooters names.
TheGreenHornet
I've watched people freak out at paintball. They just don't understand. Like people thinking they can take on the US Army.
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Verelse
Context: https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/26/politics/trump-florida-school-without-a-weapon/index.html
MechanusIncarnate
cadet bonespurs.
Irradiatedchipmunk
Step 1: Post Context, Step 2: Everybody ignores context, Step 3: ???, Step 4: Profit...?
Verelse
Where's mah monay?
Darkspire
"I would have run in, but my bone spurs..."
RockMeLikeASugarcane
M'bonespurs
TheRealDurdan
Cheers
JohnnyUtahFBI
Thank you
MatrimBloodyCauthon
Yeah sure you would, you pussy-ass draft dodger.
WacknCheese
But he's like...the best! Ask anyone! The greatest! Can do anything! Everyone knows!....ahhh I can't keep a straight face. What a shitcunt!!
Toderdj
Thank you so much.
TanithRosenbaum
Ahhh thank you. Some context on the guy in the image would be appreciated too though. I know he's from Harry Potter, but not much more.
Rhysssss
Gilderoy Lockhart. Stole stories of accomplished badass wizards, cast memory charm on them, wrote book about accomplishment as if his own.
Rhysssss
Talked himself up to be badass but when actually facing danger was an incompetent pos.
phasegen
Trump stopped a mugging unarmed in 1991. It isn't that much of a stretch.
Irradiatedchipmunk
Shhhh. You're messing with their demonization of him
DrNonyabiz
Ppl sure do like their straw man punching bag huh
MMAgCh
nottheworstusernamemaybe
I have never heard malania speak so that ws interesting
jessicacupcake
FFS
wadatahmydamie
I think he’d do it, honestly. He’s always happy to meet his supporters and sign their MAGA hats.
Foogle
Ha! +1
SomeCrazyNerd
Fucking burn.
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simhuman
Shouldn't that make Trump's comment even more pathetic and insane? That he'd go Superhero Tough Guy where trained pros feared to tread?
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simhuman
A hemophobic draft-dodger would run at an AR-15 unarmed? It's "nothing personnel kid" nonsense, and you'd agree if anyone else said it.
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The6thLexicon
CNN had an interview with the sheriff who oversaw that 1 (currently confirmed, possibly 3 more) officer just the other day. Try again
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muwah
That has been covered and criticized on multiple new sources and channels.
TheRealDurdan
As a non-American. Thank you.
ZaphodBeeblebroxIsRusselBrand
As a non-American - thank God
sombrerohorsewagon
It’s based on the fact that multiple police officers were on scene but didn’t enter the building.
ZorkFox
As an American, I’m still grateful. Spent the day at work, so didn’t get any news like this.
LoopStricken
But how can he run on his bone spur heels?
TheBlackShakes
You know he was scouted by professional baseball teams, and claimed to be best player in NY? He also kept playing after his deferment. Link:
TheBlackShakes
http://www.complex.com/sports/2016/11/donald-trump-baseball/best-baseball-player-in-new-york Baseball, tennis, football, squash, etc. Link:
TheBlackShakes
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/02/us/politics/donald-trump-draft-record.html
codnuggets
Excellent question!
Vergenbuurg
As I am shamefully unfamiliar with the Harry Potter series, I think I need context on the other end of this meme...
jucyblucy
He's a character who claims to be a big hero in order to sell books about his exploits but is actually a cowardly blowhard.
Maggiesperson
I didn't know trump could write?
wyatt8740
He has difficulty with it, but he's really good at memory charms
SleepDeprivedAstronaut
it's just really difficult with those tiny hands
Maggiesperson
Made me spit my coffee out. Cat is still pouting.
bruudwin
hes a baby t rex lizard people confirmed!
GipCee
Because he is a father, I don't doubt him.
ItsAGameOfSchlongs
But he's also a fucking liar though.
squintish
He was quite untroubled when Don Jr. refused to speak to him for 10 years because of poor treatment of his mother.
GipCee
You must know all about his relationships
squintish
Just from things he's talked about publicly. He's boasted being a 'hands off' father. He had little to do with them until college age.
GipCee
So he trusts the system for what it's worth. Or how much he's paying for them.
MothMonsterMan
Because he is a politician I also believe him.. Because a lack of brain cells would make you think you are doing good by running intobullets
GipCee
Fight or flight.
MothMonsterMan
Its like standing in front of a train to fight it. You can try, but unless you weigh more than 30 tonnes you will lose. Preparedness is key
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xrufus7x
We talking about this guy? https://www.gq.com/story/donald-trump-howard-stern-story
GipCee
Plus, people get sued for moving injured personnel; trying to help. People may even try to fake an injury around Mr. Trump
xrufus7x
This is ridiculous, the man was bleeding out on the floor and he was more concerned about the floors.
GipCee
He's recollecting details of the event. He may have been in an adrenaline shock so recalling it may shed some details.
GipCee
Sounds like because he is a hemophobe it is self explanatory that he could not be of assistance. Perhaps in a different situation.
xrufus7x
Yah, cause school shootings are known for their lack of blood and unclean tiles.
GipCee
Well, his priorities are there.
Unsafefurball
For real. These have to be troll accounts lol people aren't actually this stupid