Jonjonnotaleprechaun
318626
7461
158
Nov 26, 2016 3:54 PM
Jonjonnotaleprechaun
318626
7461
158
Bainin
Im swiss wtf is this lube and which navy we are landlocked x,D
CloakedFigure
Wrap a cloth around a fork. Stick it in the nearest outlet. Step outside and lock the door. Walk away.
iampurplelungs
That is pretty fucked up you have a cross and holy water.
youreonyourownalcapone
the sriracha one got laughing in a way nothing had for a while
humourasdryasyourgf
That is one kinky drawer.
NegativeKD
"SwissNAVY" lmao
smuggledmuggle
What's with #3?
LetsTravelTogether
Random little person. I will refer to my nephew like this from now on
rsmatt00
I own that exact same couch, - college tyrion
chitownpunx
#6, I'd like to believe those aren't pee jugs, but the internet has taught me better.
STINKPICKEL
Yeah I had the same thoughts, yuck!
snowwhyyt
????sing it with me "One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong." That drawer....
twiceroundforapound
#1 looks like chris moyles
IDontKnowHowToHuman
I thought of this guy http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0416673/?ref_=tt_cl_t1
WoofKeeper
#14 - everything is a type of protection. Looks like they have ALL the bases covered.
PoppaBigBear
That little man on the lower case T isn't going to be enough to save him from the things he has done.
haeynous
#4 if you have a ninja for a roommate, just so you know what they are doing.
Cereaza
#14 is a Boondock Saint
PileOfWalthers
I'd rather live in my car.
StayedDuck
I can honestly say this is a glimpse of my life with roomies. I tend to attract the type. Glad to know Im not the only one
skirtsanddesserts
raidleadergutts
Just avoid being black in 'Murica, their cops are known to "fear for their lives" around black people & shoot 7 warning shots in their backs
GiantDad420
Life Hack #125: Be black to get a roommate you enjoy.
icameforthedownvotes
Last really just is the average sexually guilted, texan catholic.
KjTheLightning
so basically the average living contradiction to itself.
Immutablespellingderp
Can confirm, roommate is average sexually guilted texan catholic.
HighSlayerRalton
Plot Twist: All of these people are roommates from their roommates perspective.
phatmeme
YES!
BaldVinnie
https://media.giphy.com/media/EldfH1VJdbrwY/giphy.gif
yomancs
I too keep a gun with my condoms
FindusSomKatten
thats so fuckin illegal were i live
iLoveItWhenMyFingersSmellLikePussy
A rather extreme form of birth control, but it works..
ThatEdward
Well, yeah. How else will you turn off the lights before going to sleep?
yomancs
I sleep good knowing there's a bullet in the chamber and full clip a arms reach away I'm also licensed
lobstasalad9095
and Holy Water....
Copperbrat
#7 looks like someone put liquid dish soap in the dishwasher. Don't ask me how I know.
FeenyBoBeany
how do you know?
FeenyBoBeany
how do you know?
Copperbrat
I told you not to ask!
XenuWorldOrder
I had a buddy bring a couple of little women he picked up at the bar to my house one night. The Rockettes were in town. Good times.
puffschick420
Is the last ones roommate Van Helsing?!
DinkyDamn
I let a friend crash at my place.. He snores. He doesn't like showers. he eats my food and drink my soda. He also likes to lay in my bed 1/2
DinkyDamn
While watching tv instead of using the couch. He is upp all night and whistles/listen to music/play games and he have clogged my toilet, yay
corig123
The first half of this I thought you were talking about a dog...
Taraxacumofficinale
I thought your username was a dog.
corig123
Common mistake. Instead, it's my late 90s hotmail account name?
Taraxacumofficinale
Ah.
IDontKnowHowToHuman
ditto
HabermasGoneWild
#14 that guy is ready to fight vampires. Bless the hell out if those bullets
ChrisNoire
It was almost there, but you just had to be impatient.
bubbacable
So many types of 'protection'.
GiraffesAndCrystalMeth
i'd date that guy, but only if he took proper care of that poor revolver - just laying in the drawer like that *sheesh*
DeathtyOneDeathtyTwoDeathtyThree
Because everyone loves lead speckled condoms and lube
wartoaster
Swiss Navy is some good lube
newandimproving
astromoondoggie
And if you can't kill 'em, fuck 'em.
da1uhidefrom
Boondock Saint starter kit.
Enoan
Swiss navy lubricant, Switzerland has a navy?
PorkShenanigans
I have a box of their hollow point steel jacket in 9mm,they are very pretty but as they are the "for actual use" ammo, I have never fired.
Lollux
Word of advice: Fiocci is good ammo, but you should run a half a box or so, just to make sure they cycle
Bystandr
.357 revolver .. that'll do , donkey
JAFIOI
Or have gay vampire sex.
volatilechemicals
Staking a bit more than his heart
Ireplietomyownpostsbecauseihavesplitpersonality
Stake the heart, fuck the hole.
Ireplietomyownpostsbecauseihavesplitpersonality
Deadpool approved
ThatEdward
Nobody said you have to hit the heart by going through the chest ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
VernonLamb
But what's the ruler for?
Zaelya
I was hoping for funnier answers to this question....
AlonzoMoselyFBI
measuring vampire dicks, of course
ManOfIce
Measuring his massive cock
DiggerPlease
Vampire spanking
scuba7jb
Determining the distance to the cervix.
lambaroo
what's the shower one about? is one bottle maple syrup or something? no zoom :(
FindusSomKatten
sriracha hot sauce
lambaroo
thanx
RedIronCrown
#6 tho. I'd move out.
djunohoo
I lived with a friend for a few years after high school that lived like this, took me a few years to break the habits created there
iamtotallyahuman
I once found a rat in my bed when flatting. We had a meeting and 1 flat mate said she always seen rats. Her Room looked like that photo.
iamtotallyahuman
I moved out that week after I saw her room. As I knew why we had a rat problem. I can still smell it. 'Gag'
circlebreaker
The trick is to peel up their mattress and take a dump underneath. Mutants like this will go insane trying to find it, but won't be able to.
ThomasChickenhat
It kinda looks like someone suffering from depression. The kind where you lose the drive to even leave your bed. :/
sirpsys
Exactly what I thought. Not a happy thing.
fartsandwitches
Fun fact: that's piss in those bottles.
bukkakebandit
Exactly the reason why we kicked out our last renter!
DiabolicPenguin
that's not very fun
AvengeTheCompanionCube
"Way of the road"
MyBedroomIsSiberia
"Fun"
DutchRudderShotgun
I was absolutely gonna say the same thing! Fucking animals man!
PlantyThePlant
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants!
aldoraine1986
My old college house looked like this for a couple of weeks...We refused to clean up after someone (who also refused to) and it escalated...
DWandRFaremyspiritbeings
Had a dorm roommate like that. As RA, I made him scrub every inch of the entire dorm building before I signed his form to get his degree.
aldoraine1986
Everyone threw more shit on top to "make a point"... Horrendous!
thatusernamemayalreadyexist1
How'd that work out for you?
TehOuchies
Notice how white the whites are? The pillows, the styrofoam to go containers. Looks staged to me due to lack of mold/stains.
wanderingsibyl
No. It's not staged.
Ryebread91
Something tells me not to drink from those bottles by the side of his bed...
Leaveittojebus
Moved into a 4 bedroom with random roommates one year, 4th room wasn't filled and they were using it as the "trash room" one night came 1/2
Leaveittojebus
Home, felt a cold draft from the trash room. Window was busted, looked around, nothing missing... they moved on and robbed our neighbors 2/2
RyanBall1
So I should fill my house with trash to stop robbers?
Leaveittojebus
Home security companies hate this simple trick.
Emblem100
Did I see pee jars?
EmeraldLight
Fun fact: I invited my best male friend to room with me when I bought my first place. One of the reasons I kicked him out was piss bottles.
bukkakebandit
SAME! My SO's best friend though and i had to be the "bitch" to kick him out
distances
Why on earth would someone do that? For storing liquid memories?
Solusek
How else are you going to get world first kills in WoW? Pee bottles are a raiding essential.
youcanthandlemykamehameha
It's severe depression.
distances
But still, I feel like I'm missing something here. Is the bathroom taken? Is it too far away?
EmeraldLight
He was lazy and milked the fact that he was disabled. His bedroom shared a wall with the bathroom. He also never cleaned or bought food.
awklien
Looks like a crack head room
Fortrecon
Signs of hoarding probally
upsidedownjackrussell
...also at #8
daimomusic
Burn it down and start anew
ivoryashes
Legit. Some of these are endearing kind of funny, but that's a health hazard.
silentjay01
I'm afraid to ask what is in the half gallon jug.
MikeRhoapinus
It's pee.
MikeRhoapinus
Stale pee.
GHDUDE17
Had a roommate at OPSU that kept his room like that. Couldn't see the floor on his half; ate food in bed and tossed leftovers to the side.
GHDUDE17
Told RA and she said negotiating with the guy was a valuable social experience for me and they they wouldn't do anything else.
RedIronCrown
Oh fuck that "social experience" bullshit. RAs are obligated to deal with unhealthy situations.
baconsmellsreallygood
That RA was just being lazy and didnt want to deal w it. Would have told that dude to clean his shit up or the hall will be charging him.
GHDUDE17
Right? Noped out of that hick hellhole.
DoorToDoorWikipediaSalesman
I know exactly what happened in #7. Speaking from personal experience.
IDontKnowHowToHuman
Reminds me of my basement, every time the plug falls in the sink by the washing machine. Last time, I just threw the plug away for good.
ibetthisisntausername
second that.
LavaAxe
It appears the chap in the picture has also just gained the same personal experience and is violently coming to terms with its ramifications
webberjo
I guess you could say the consequences Dawned on him.
imdan24
This is like a right of passage for new home owners
mycatToastwasafatasshole
Two or three DROPS of dawn mixed with baking soda: great "homemade" detergent. ANY MORE THAN THREE DROPS, THOUGH...
tetrameth
Same here. You only do this once, though!
BIORANGER
He needs to clean his shaker bottles for all the protein shakes
ilovebees
My roommate did the same exact thing...
calway
Once, when I was living in the Barracks on Base, someone thought Axe body wash was a good substitute for laundry detergent. Same problem.
DoorToDoorWikipediaSalesman
I bet those dishes hooked up with all the silverware and started watching UFC.
calway
Laundry Detergent = Washing Machine. Not Dishwasher. Otherwise, yeah your comment would've been pretty spot on lol.
DoorToDoorWikipediaSalesman
Oh, drat! Serves me right for just skimming.
robingal1
I, too, learned this. bright side, cleanest floor next day.
tessisamess
Same. What's weird though is that dude's kitchen looks exactly like the kitchen it happened in lmao.
metalchef72
He also has entirely too much protein powder
voulge
Just as a PSA, mind telling us what happened? ;w; I've never used a dishwasher before, always hand-washed dishes
DoorToDoorWikipediaSalesman
Yep, my poor brother as a teenager didn't realize an impt difference b/n dish soap and detergent. Took a couple hrs to fix the mistake.
itgotupanditdancedaway
Someone put dish soap in the dishwasher. Always use dishwasher detergent.
voulge
Mmmokay, duly noted. Thank you!
betterave
This also applies to washing machines.
lotrmith
Liquid soap for a sink handwash vs granulated soap for a dishwasher. Liquid soap in dishwasher = foam explosion.
Travotron3000
Liquid dish soap and liquid dishwasher detergent are two very different things. Liquid detergent is fine for the most part.
momoshito
Depends on the liquid soap. If it's liquid hand soap, then yeah. Don't do that. If it's liquid dishsoap, then have at it.
cole2buhler
Actually my kitchen had a nice layer of suds on the floor not to long ago because there was some soap in a pan in the dishwasher
momoshito
Well damn. That's pretty impressive, not gonna lie. I have never had that happen before. How much soap was in there?
jelliclescanandjelliclesdo
Dawn in the dishwasher. Yep yep.
OfficialJoeBiden
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
DreadPierateRoberts
Done that
JustHereToHelp
Been there
TehGuard
last month when I moved out
Lurkingoff
Gross. Who shares chapstick?
troy11998822
I think you mean who wears rubbers?
Covfefe19
I'm just worried about pepper spray and lube in the same drawer.
donkeymoney
Vampire hunters, apparently.
Deadegan
Sickos
Lorendell
Nobody is gonna mention the unpackaged pepper spray near all those delicates
minant
Seriously that is an incredibly painful accident waiting to happen
Lorendell
They are Leaky!
Flyndaran
Those trying to get that 60% of the population with oral herpes closer to 100%.
avertyereyes
Here I thought it was about the Holy water
Justineer
Could be a twin pack.
stabbert3
I know the school nurse has like 5 sticks in her drawer.
anitabieror6
well but like, Carmex, you can squirt some out on your finger.you dont hafta wipe it on your mouth
Smudgee
It would be but if you look its the yellow thing with the red top which is a gloup that comes out, not an application stick. *scough*... 1/2
Smudgee
2/2... Noob.
naturepunks
i used to do that with my siblings before we all moved away..? sounds weird sayin it now but it felt normal
emuthegreen
My roommates and I did. We also double dipped and bit each others food. We were also ludicrously co-dependent on each other
Tranchec
At least he knows where his chapstick is
Kowabungo
I don't see the problem with tubed chapstick assuming people use their fingers like civilized folk.
Rowald
My mouth does not nearly touch as much genitals as my hands though.
iConfirmAnythingAndEverything
Heathen.
sonic745
Fingers are germy as well.
dancealittlestranger
Siblings? Partners?
ihateeggs
I stopped letting my sister share with me when she returned my chocolate lip smacker with a bite missing. She's got a phd now.
dancealittlestranger
Lol, how old was she?
ihateeggs
Probably like 6. But when she graduated that's all I could think about. Hahahaha
dancealittlestranger
I hope you don't let her forget.
JustSomeDudeSomewhereInTexas
But, really.
funnyaccepted
Hi Texan.
JustSomeDudeSomewhereInTexas
Hi Accepted.
funnyaccepted
What's on your Xmas wishlist?
JustSomeDudeSomewhereInTexas
Amazon gift cards or used chapstick; I am indifferent. What is on yours?
ThePrimrose
My boyfriend and I share chapstick? Does that count. Wouldnt share with friends though, herpes isnt something people like to share
EmmaJean231
You're not alone. We do, too.
MileHighLivin
...are you saying you wouldnt share with other people, because you and yoir boyfriend are the ones with herpes
ThePrimrose
Lol, no, no ,no. Because other people wouldn't share the information that they have herpes.
Thalidor
Suuurreee...
ThePrimrose
Lol
throughthoughtthough
Swiss navy lube though.
JayEnfield
And a ruler. Seems insecure.
throughthoughtthough
unless its a girl. Just making sure its going to be big enough.
JayEnfield
Shouldn't need to, vaginas have a decent amount of stretch to them.
alexwrath
obvs an amateur. Gun Oil ftw.
SpecialProjectY
*sandpaper
alexwrath
Anything's lube if you're slutty enough.
kelestofkels
silicone swiss navy lube and regular condoms. Somebody's gonna have a bad day when they figure that one out.
leareth
why? - genuine curious
P7M8
don't need the condom where the lube is going
Leithoa
They might. Gotta keep sand out of your barrel on an amphibious assault some how.
P7M8
touche'
funnyaccepted
Chapstick is code for something. Chap=guy. Stick=paddle.
IllegalDuckling
Oh, that's alright, actually.
TheWhiteJonJones
The cross may need to be a bit bigger if he wanted a real paddlin'
Mrmtndew76
Guy paddle?
Konguy
Well there actually is Chapstick in there, sooo
vonsandwich
Chap's dick
guyintoga
this Accually makes sense..
TahirAlam
Unlike your sentence
RideTheTiger
Ohh I thought it was referring to a dildo. Well yoday I learned something new.
CivitatemInkas
Do you share dildos with your roommate?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?!?!?!
Ynigmatik
....send pics?...
VisioningGoblin
You get an up vote just for making me laugh XD
ast911
Paddle?
alauzon
That's a paddlin'
imprettyawesomeiswear
Penis?
THESHOUTINGTURTLE
BigisDickis
Penis.
Neade
Username approved.