DontsteptoMaggieSmith
345441
5842
176
Oct 15, 2014 10:42 AM
DontsteptoMaggieSmith
345441
5842
176
Candymostdandy
This is the receptionist at my office on a daily basis...seriously, she reads the obits first thing every morning and gives me a report.
nikiitea
She came in Mock the Week I guess. I should probably watch more of her videos.
umuranga
My mom also loves to explain the circumstances. "And then his wife found him on the kitchen floor, clutching his chest!" That's great mom.
demiandub
Pronounced: Ashling Bee, for those who were wondering.
albatross17
meh
hireling
Italians play this game too. It's called "Guess who died? You must be hungry!"
ItsOkayItsOfficial
That is one unfunny Irish woman
teleborian
AISLING BEA AISLING BEA AISLING BEA AISLING BEA AISLING BEA AISLING BEA AISLING BEA AISLING BEA AISLING BEA AISLING BEA AISLING BEA AISLING
beansandcornbreadandgreens
thanking you
dactyif
I WAS ABOUT TO RAGE BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHO IT WAS AND THEN I READ THE TAG, YAY.
whoisandrewj
Mobile users hate you.
Pharya
#pcmasterrace
azazyel
I could hear her say 'arse'
WatcheroftheWays
Why are these GIFs? The text never changes. There is no need for the GIF
HarryBlackstoneCopperfieldDresden
She's not talking about her vagina, so this should make some of the haters happy.
janeyomac
I think she meant 'Mammy'
KittehHawk
That was bad.
IAmTheSquidward
There's no reason these needed to be gifs
boxotron
not funny
aroastedrutabaga
Oh look, my favorite, 3 second gifs. This is annoying even for non-mobile users. Can we all agree to stop this?
littlegingerone
as an irish girl yes this happens all the time when i go home
dougmr
More comedy posts. Less of this.
BrettTheHitmanCart
When I go home my mom is just like, "feed him ALL the cakes!"
grimfandango
So much this. Problem is I love to eat all the cakes. But hate myself afer.
BrettTheHitmanCart
And the worst is that you lie to yourself and say, "it's fine, I'll work it off during the week!" but no working off occurs.
sheshazelnuts
I want to go to your house.
youshouldbuyarowingmachine
Yup, still love her.
SugarSmack
"Does he look like a bitch?"
CawCawCrow
http://captionsearch.com/pix/i96v5pflr5.jpg
SwarlesInCharge
What?!
Ragnos
HE SAID "DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?"
dembonz00
Bitch, he might.
FelixTheCAT5e
Why isn't this one gif?
IrrelevantGILF
Probably because that would be difficult to follow if you miss a line. Waiting for it to reset too ... in fact, that's the worst idea ever.
StrideWideMan
Also, to punish the dirty mobile peasants.
Justinicus
More importantly, why are these animated at all?
CaptainBoogiebean
EXACTLY. There is no reason that these should be gifs.
INeedMoreGifMeMoreJustOneMore
I immediately read this in an irish accent. Awesome
PrahaPrincess
"Mummy" can't be said in an Irish accent. It's "Mammy".
happohippo
I guess she didn't type the subtitles. Watch the video, she says "Mammy".
Rentheyacht
Sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke8R5K5NOWg
MichaelCera
Oh my god. Her description of an Irish small town night out is spot on.
quisnon
good lord dat accent
SuchUsernameVeryImgurWow
As an American guy, I swoon when I hear Irish girls talk...
Shost
Lost it at "Jim murphey shoving a flaccid rabbit into a grave."
Saywatenaou
I did not expect to enjoy her stand-up...but it turns out I did. If you are on the fence, I say watch it.
Hedon
why can't you be buried with a hat?
PegForMercy
Because the soul leaves from the head. And you don't want your loved ones to be self-conscious if a zombie apocalypse ever happens.
SlutForStarWarsLore
https://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmidohKUuh1qbbpaoo1_400.gif
AnExplanation
Wasn't that guy number one back in the day?
wobbu
I'LL GIVE YOU A MILLION DOLLARS FOR THAT HAT
mrfiddles
You ask the right questions, I like you.
Treblaine
Okay, but who's going to pay for the coffin which is half a foot longer?
TheStripedBiologistTaunter
You can't have a halo with a hat. It's just silly.
itsjustbeginning
It's the afterlife equivalent of socks with sandals
Rapiecage
But the horns will steady my hat :(
bobon123
Two items can't go in the same slot. It would be overpowered.
TheNamesTalcJamesTalcSpecialAntiCakedayAgent
They aren't the same slot if you play Fallout New Vegas (Old World Blues minigame)
stonegiant
A halo might help hold a top hat on and look amazing.
stutteringbob
Maybe the halo fits around the top hat and makes it hover above your head.
ibearbadnews
I guess you never watched Eastbound and Down
CynicalFish
You can't wear a hat if you're dead, you can only wore a hat.
Yoggington
*applauds*
Misora
"So when you bury him, make sure he gots a hat.
carewyllie
You CAN. Clearly this mystery dead person was not.
infogulch
TIL I want to be buried in a fedora.
zackofspades
The neckbeard might rot off eventually but I hope you get your wish!
AnotherImgurianEnglishman
To woo all the damsels in the afterlife?
ReptilianOverlord
Wooing all the "curvy" m'ladies in the afterlife? You classy gentlesir you.
damianchapsfield
M'skeletoness
zackofspades
M'zombies
Canneverthinkofagoodname
maybe it was too big?
flipoutofwater
As a funeral director wife, you CAN be buried with it. But, we usually tuck it in next to you in the casket.
MyLuggageAteMyHomework
why?
flipoutofwater
When people lean over the body to kiss them, the hat will hit them in the face. Also, the hat leaves a weird indent on the embalmed head.
MyLuggageAteMyHomework
Do they put in on before the actual burial, though?
flipoutofwater
I think we do.
FBKatB3TAdotcom
Yeah weird huh, guess death can do that
YouWereAlmostAJillSandwich
This is a typical Irish thing,I think every Mammy does it. 'D'ya' remember whats-his-face?' 'No Mum.' 'Ack ya' do! Well, he's dead anyway.'
AwhatNwhatAwhatMwhatE
I thought all mothers do this. Except maybe for the ack bit.
eireofdanorth
Dead? Nothin' a flat 7up can't fix.
YouWereAlmostAJillSandwich
Or boiled, can't forget the boiled 7Up. Or ice cream drinks. CAVAN COLA ICE-CREAM DRINK. I swear the Lord Himself would surely rise.
floralprincess
100% accurate right up there with saying bye a million times a the end of a phone call
SomeGeographer
I read this in my mother's voice, with her accent.
IratetheD
i can hear the accent in my head hehehe
commish
Can confirm. Am Irish and me Ma still does this.
ActiveCactus
No mam i dont know him, "yeah ya do, you know, yer man, the auld fella that lived beside Kinsella's, ya know yer man like?" Ahhhhhhhhh!
YouWereAlmostAJillSandwich
'AH YA DO, JILLSANDWICH!' 'Mam honestly, I've know idea who you're on about.' Cue Mam getting thick cuz' I don't know who she's on about.
YouWereAlmostAJillSandwich
*no
MichaelCera
Ahaha Irish mums get so offended when you don't know someone. "sure ya DOOOO he's the wan with the hair!" no "the wan with the collie!" no.
SuburbanRobotsThatMonitorReality
I can just hear the "Suuure ya doo"
Voltagen
Wow, Im only irish by descent and this is scarily accurate. All of it
SuburbanRobotsThatMonitorReality
Same here, but my mom was always talking in an Irish accent cause she's kooky like that.
eusebiusnicomidea
My mom does this. "Do you remember so and so" and I reply, "I can only assume they are dead or well on their way there."
wobbu
My grandmum always has stories about some old person friend with their insides falling out of their butt, or throwing up blood. Cheerful!
YouCantKeepJetpackingAwayFromYourProblemsBrian
My mom does this as well. Except I get updates about every fucking thing they do. It's like Facebook.
RandomButFactuallyAccurateSnappleCapFacts
I think its sad how a lot of older people become like this, almost like its a gossip game of death and other peoples misery ..its super lame
eusebiusnicomidea
I think it starts when you go to the obits first thing every morning to see who's left.
UpvotesForCalicos
My dad did this. My parents divorced when I was 8 & we moved to a bigger city. No, I don't remember the person that served on city council.
DemographicUnknown
"Remember your best friend from elementary school? He made the police blotter. Just thought you should know :) " Why Dad why.
GaiusOrpheus
Or got married, has kids, and why aren't you giving your poor mother grandchildren yet?!
AdrianAmato
because I'm hella gay.
eusebiusnicomidea
Well since me and the wife split up, less of this but it was a thing for a while too.
KatimusPrimeTV
Bro, bro.... I've been in a relationship for a year and my mother is already nagging marriage or grandbabies... I'm 19, damn it!
YerfdogT1935
Mine seem like they'd be furious if I married before I left college. >_>
KatimusPrimeTV
My boyfriend has an age difference, college would only to be for learning French at this point...
OnceUponaLittleWhovian
I'm so glad mine is the complete opposite. She'll break my legs if I get pregnant now. I'm 18.
KatimusPrimeTV
I've also moved 12 hours away, with someone quite older than me with a steady job... even his friends are cracking those jokes. Jealous :(
OnceUponaLittleWhovian
Dayum. I'm going to make the (9 hour, by plane) move next year hopefully. But he's only 2,5 years older than me so no need for babies.