undercoverpizzalover
126460
4527
134
Sep 18, 2016 4:36 PM
undercoverpizzalover
126460
4527
134
aninvisiblemaniac
"today I'm in a happy relationship and he said sometimes I bug him, wah!" " today my best friend said he liked me back waah!" shut up
puddin151
yeah that first one... don't have a nose ring to begin with hahaha
TheWorstPirateYouHaveEverHeardOf
Dating for 14 years?! Jesus.
o11c
#8 Well, he wasn't wrong.
ICallPeoplesBullshit
Why is there even a voting option?
PolarChi
naytorin
Okay, the love bug thing is just fuckin' funny. If you can't appreciate a bit of hood-natured piss-taking, that's your own damn fault.
ConnerSparks
Damn 14 years and no proposal.
Tiredofyourshenanigans
"lil" dump...
theycallmeMrGlass
What the hell kind of kitten can destroy a phone??
Hendlton
They like to chew on things and they have sharp claws they can't retract.If it decided to play with it,I see how it could have destroyed it.
theycallmeMrGlass
I suppose they could have chewed it up, but still, that's a lot of chewing from such a tiny mouth, razor blade teeth or not.
FSMPirate
#30 that where you sit down with your boss and have a solid conversation or start sending our resumes
GreyWater
Oh man, this saved me from some bullshit. I had a month old watermelon in my closet. For some stupid reason I thought they don't go bad.
Doodleyduds
They foam at a certain point.
vc120
+1 for satan's piss.
chloramphenicolderivative
The bunsen burner one makes no sense. If there is any volatile organic compounds present, you shouldn't use a bunsen burner.
ThirstyBeaver
Does common-law marriage not exist outside of Canada?
Fantastapotomus
In the US it depends on the state. Texas, yes. California, no, for example.
RetroPhantom
What I want to know is how any of these people "Deserved It."
AndrePug
I'd love to see the 48 y/o who's passing for 28! What's his secret?!
FSMPirate
Wait until you see!
captainclutch
Dating a blind girl
Nettlebat
One simple trick!
lalaarawr
Doctors hate him!
dragonmasterbater
A gun range open 24/7?
SamaelTheVenomOfGod
Google 24/7 gun range.
doublekross
I've seen more than one 24/7 range in Florida.
iamreallydrunkrightnowsohellyesIi
Pretty common in the south.
tyrsfavoritesword
Where... I'd love to go... and have looked.
captainclutch
I live in Georgia and have never heard of that.
dragonmasterbater
I live in god damn California. My range is open from 10am-2pm you lucky bastards
SFCrawNik
I feel like there are people who go on that site and click, you deserve it. No matter what they say, because they're terrible people.
lalaarawr
The type of people who click "yoy deserved it" are the same people knowingly giving people bad directions
RenamedUser
This one hits home. They always assume I'm responsible for my trainees' stupidity and lack of motivation.
anabundanceofpuns
That reminds me. For the ammonium hydroxide one, mixing other acids, like HCl, can neutralize the smell and result in a fruity fragrance.
Sifernos
My trainee literally just does what she wants and if you ask her why she just stares at you blankly. Apparently it's my fault she sucks...
RenamedUser
Dude. Same. When I ask her basic questions she just stares and me with a bratty "isn't it obvious" look. No, I do not know if you want food.
IAmTheBob
When I got laid off, they gave me a helper about a week before hand. And then that Friday, they told me that it was my last day and to clean
IAmTheBob
out my locker when I left.
Cheesecakecrush
At my old job, trainers had to train on two types of machines, Printing presses and molding machines. Leadership only placed trainee on 1/2
Cheesecakecrush
molding machines after he was out of training for 8 months straight, then put him on a printing press. He had no idea what to do, and 2/3
Cheesecakecrush
Called the trainer in to yell at him and the trainer said "You never let him practice solo on a printer and its MY fault?" To them, it was.
Cheesecakecrush
FHL.
amartrey
What the hell is wrong with all these "you deserved it" people?? "I fell off a cliff" -Well, you clearly deserved it.
vegivamp
Well, to be fair, the cliff didn't walk up to you...
DerperDerperBoBerperBananaFanaFoFerper
MortuusSum
Canadiens, with an E. Because the team is French. Or, if you're not a fuckin' weirdo, just call 'em the Habs.
DerperDerperBoBerperBananaFanaFoFerper
I will consider my apology for the misspelling to be like the handshake at the end of a series in order to make it more palatable. :p
MortuusSum
Or fuckin' whatever, I'm not a Habs fan. Fuck 'em.
PlushtoysEveryWhere
The horse trainer one, I thought he's trying to get paid from the horse for a while. FML
whotheFUCKletthedogsout
I agree, you deserve me.
alexhawz
"I agree, your life sucks"
iLikeToSnack
You deserved it
Shamorza
That could've happened to me.
Gizzie
I didn't have sexual relationship with that horse
ExpertWhale
What was the cigar for?
MrSisterFister
I hope someone told him that's not how wisdom teeth work.
muscletank
i had to stop reading FMLs a few years ago because i to hurt too much to read
muscletank
gawdamnit
Tfox6712
What does skinflint mean?
DefinitelyNotAlpharius
Broke, having no money. Often shortened to 'skint'
doublekross
Skinflint is cheap, not wanting to spend money. A broke person can be cheap, but a rich person can also be cheap.
0oblick
Cheap. Doesn't want to spend money
alwaysL8
It means she can light matches off her skin
TheGodsMustBeCrazy
That would be IMMENSELY useful.
Dahlerbill
Fascinating. Thanks!
Anamesolongnoonecouldhavepossiblychosenit2
As a die hard flyers fan, hate fucking is still an option
Counterfit
I'd love an opportunity to make "Fuck the Habs" a reality for me.
jajwiwa
TABARNAK! F*UCK THE BRUINS N LEAFS!
mrthreefingers
But why would the flyers hate the penguins? Penguins can't fly.
Coopenhagen21
As a die-hard Flyers fan, I assume hate is all you know.
cbjfan
Fuck the pens. And Shitsby Flopsby
TankBlaster24
I was under the impression that it was Cindy Crysby? Or am I just confused?
cbjfan
Tomato tamato
Nepeta33
angry sex is the best sex
YES16MAN
That last one, about not being technically enrolled in the class despite weeks of work, is my worst nightmare.
TheGodsMustBeCrazy
I lived that nightmare. For TWO classes. Resulted in owing the school $2,500. I have many unkind things to say about that school.
vegivamp
Umm... If they have a problem during enrollment, it's their problem to fix...
theM00INGcow
"She looks like a fuckin garden gnome"
CharlieKingofSeagulls
I had that happen to me. He said "eww that Avatar? Not interested" I'm 6ft https://imgur.com/RbfaDDJ
DidSomebodyCallForAnAdult
I'm on the deserved it side of this one. 1. Just have the conversation yourself. 2. If you are eavesdropping, be prepared for it.
JustBeCoolBruh
Yeah, I have to feel like if you look like a garden gnome, there should be some self-awareness on how you look.
himherenowno
This happened to me except what I looked like wasn't specified but the revulsion was there :/
MostIndeedlySo
mycatodinisbetterthanyourcatodin
Brutal
bloxman
How?!
OurLordandSaviorSkeletor
Some of these I have to wonder who the hell thinks that these poor people deserve it. 1 or 2 yes but a lot of them are just uncontrollable.
AlwaysCorrect
People use it if they don't believe you
ProphetOfWhy
I think they use that add an "I don't believe you" button.
lcplspanky
I've always wondered if some people don't just have bots that automatically do it, people have used them for worse
basherkid86
I've found roughly 8-10% have a "you deserved it" vote regardless of how bad it is. Which tells me 8-10% are secretly assholes.
SluttyBreadsticks
you deserve it basically means "i don't believe you" in this case
TheGodsMustBeCrazy
It sucks, but it even happens here. I've been downvoted for simple things like asking if OP has an online shop for their artwork.
DeltaBlast
I think you got it the wrong way around... Most of these are completely controllable.
DidSomebodyCallForAnAdult
Nose ring, garden gnome, train miss, probably cooking class, break up left purse, dropped earring, singer fall, slept with ex's friend, lazy
DidSomebodyCallForAnAdult
And multiple others that just are kinda part of life and not an FML moment.
DVSBSTrD
How the hell do you get suck in a shirt?
SmellyPotatoMan
By being fat. I've done it and I get fucking terrified because I don't want to rip the shirt but because I'm stressed I can't breathe.
RenamedUser
Ever been wrongfully downvoted on something? People just do what people wanna do, man.
largehadroncollisions
There's always a bit of a snowball effect too, people tend to vote with the majority so initial votes make a huge difference