I have some concerns.

I just want to start off by saying I absolutely love my son AND my beautiful wife. My son is fourteen. He's smart and respectful, and he still thinks I'm the coolest dad around. We talk about bugs and we eat breakfast together every morning. The thing is, he shares no traits with me. He's athletic--he's actually the star of the eighth grade football team. He's even starting to grow a mustache!
But his hair is so dark and neither my wife nor I have dark hair. He also has a deep voice that comes from no one in my family. Also, no one in my family is athletic. I was the towel boy for my football team back in high school. :/
And my wife, she seems so awkward when I talk about the circumstances of our son's birth. We've already acknowledged that the only reason she was able to get pregnant with him while I was away is because aliens took my DNA and gave it to her...
but what if the aliens got our DNA mixed up?
He just looks nothing like me and I'm so worried that the aliens screwed something up and now my real son is somewhere with some Indian guy or something.
I don't know. I just needed to vent.

I don't have a cat so here's my awesome van.

Giant ant queen tax.