My sister's name is Rosemary

Jan 11, 2017 12:06 AM

moistcrucifixion

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76863

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1644

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64

This was his first dinner at our house. The whole family of 10 was present at this dinner and as soon as the words came out of his mouth, NO ONE moved. It was like the greatest improv mannequin challenge ever performed. This child is 17, currently dating my younger sister (the youngest of the family) who is the same age... no one laughed. I think i saw my mom wiping away tears of pain

Jeez. Uptight family. It's hideously funny.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 4

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

"What? That would have gotten a lot of laughs at the school cafeteria."

9 years ago | Likes 142 Dislikes 2

As a person that has a physical response to cringe... I think my asshole would have tightened to a point of forming a black hole

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

i think its funny..

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

v

9 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 0

Could have been much worse. He could have said "Funny, it doesn't taste like her."

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I don't get it

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 5

I find it funny mostly cuz I'm not related

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

That's probably why she shaved down there.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#TeamToaster

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You mean the sister he dated is Rosemary.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Great story but,

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

What happened after though.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If your sister had her tonsils removed recently or surgery of some sort... that would have been the only joke available there

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well did he?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I'll take "Things that didn't happen for 500, Alex."

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Fearection

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Omg. This reminded me of the cringiest moment of my life. Long story but I basically told my gf dad I was going to sodomize her.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Story time!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

my then husband once said at dinner with my catholic parents to explain what he thought what "buggering" meant.. 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"its like buggering a priest!". Not sure what he thought it meant, but it wasnt what it really meant. Mum not pleased. 2/2

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's terrible, best thing I thought of to say is "Oh fantastic! Rosemary is my favorite"

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

at last, after all this time, a proper full blue!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

oh you couldn't script that never to be forgotten ultimate nuclear melt your face off comeback whenever Rosemary decides to get in a snit.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

When my sons mom was pregnant and we were together. Her grandma had everyone at a little shindig for her birthday and her grandma asked 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

We were 19 at the time.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

what I got her grand daughter for her birthday, I thought it would be a good idea to say I gave her a baby. Her grandma slapped me.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

so you've probably figured out that "a baby" is a shit present by now right?

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Well he's seven now and he's either the best or the worst present.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Ouch I remember being 17 and a walking cringe dump.. dark times indeed

9 years ago | Likes 499 Dislikes 2

Fuck that was me till 26.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Or were they dank times?

9 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 2

Oh I wish... I wish..

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I don't I've obliterated those memories... with a lot of vodka... like, a lot.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Every time I see my old facebook posts from high school.... *shutter*

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I think you mean *shudder*

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

cringe

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I do, using my phone to write comments was a terrible idea.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Is the sister that he is dating named rosemary?

9 years ago | Likes 181 Dislikes 10

It's in the title

9 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 6

There could be more than one sister.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Doesn't matter, would still be weird.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bet it wasn't before

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Yea! i should have mentioned that

9 years ago | Likes 228 Dislikes 2

Nevermind! My bad!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Now it all makes sense but still... weird

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

You should front page edit homie

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Made little to no sense until this very important detail was revealed.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 5

Read the title, I bet Cera got you every time.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Shout out @GoldenSun3DS

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yes you should have,

9 years ago | Likes 110 Dislikes 10

Read the title

9 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 3

Doesn't say which sister in the title.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 7

Doesnt matter really, still super awkward no matter which sister it is.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

i got a tattoo when i turned 18 and didnt tell anyone about it except my mom. fast forward a few months later, to mom's birthday dinner 1/?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

i'm introducing my soon to be ex boyfriend to my family. my grandparents are there. my great grandmother is there. and mom and i start 2/?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

joking around and ratting each other out on dumb stuff. mom mentions that i have a tattoo in order to draw attention away from herself 3/?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

naturally my grandfather is already huffy but not making a big deal out of it because im an adult and he trusts me to make good choices 4/?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

he asks what the tattoo is. and ryan, that dumbass, opens his mouth for maybe the third time that evening and says 5/?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"it's my name on her lower back". it was actually the big and little dipper on my hip, since mom and i would look for those stars every 6/?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0