TheEscapeArtist
106489
2308
83
Feb 28, 2017 4:56 PM
TheEscapeArtist
106489
2308
83
theuncreativeusername
Commenting for future kitten understanding
finallystoppedlurkingonimgur
Maybe I'll start biting people softly when I want to be left alone.
JapCarRealGood
http://imgur.com/2UEdBDL
ilsalta
With all the wildly wrong misinformation that's posted here on a regular basis, I won't trust this without a quality vet sauce.
JapCarRealGood
http://imgur.com/BaqgOCe
HeroOfKvatch1
1: are they a cat?
PintoShminto
"fright or guilt" - Ha, false, cats feel no guilt...
realinterrobang
Mine does. He knows damn well when he's been busted doing something he shouldn't.
theinsatiablepickle
Lies. Cats feel no guilt.
saph
When I hold my cat, he puts his paw over my mouth or face...
playelastic
Cats feeling guilt? Ah ha, surely you jest!
annzi
The Tail page means nothing to me. #manxowner
annoyedandgame
Can someone do a guide like this, but for wives? Thanks.
UnifiedHivemind
"Everything's fine" Your wife is either happy or extremely upset. Good luck deciding! Hint: No matter which you choose, it was wrong.
knifeskills
Your cat possibly feels guilty...my ASS!
Ant4N
If your cat is licking its asshole, it means you over fed him by a tenth of a gram last monday at 8:15 am
thecoolestcat
So one decagram
littlegingerone
My cat meows loudly all the time.. Some set of lings on her for such a tiny being
Sloppydrunkcatlady
What breed is she?
littlegingerone
Tabby /tortoise shell mix
Frazzledragon
These are bad, because they make use of the mouth to form facial expressions, which cats do not.
rezpawner
Eh. A lot of these vary from cat to cat. There are even cats that have been adopted by dogs that act like them. "cat whisperer" = bullshit.
RichardWeedMD
What about weapons? My cat collects various weapons
Pangs
He wants a sombrero or is starting a gang.
Bibliotechina
Mister bowls Dresden over at the knees.
EvilCommentsOnNiceThings
unpopular opinion on the internet but i really don't like cats lol
xamoral
PolarHailStorm
I read elsewhere that cats rubbing against you is a test to see if you're going to be a threat or not, and that they see us as big dumb cats
magicmegaman
Cats meow because they think we are big dumb kittens. cats don't meow to adult cats they hear at a level we don't
Nalianna
IratetheD
lolol i took a close look hoping to see the actual names of the different breeds
Jocke
What if my cat keeps poking my face? Is it some sort of revenge for booping his snoot?
StopStaringAtMyPetMidget
Or what if youre cat comes up to you and starts soft biting you, do you stick your finger up its asshole or not, I always forget that one?
GrundleFondler
ImmortalAzrael
I was honestly wondering if that's why my cat does this. Not as revenge but because maybe she just thinks it's what we do.
Rezol
Could be your cat is imitating you. It's trying to pet you!
tarataqa
He wants sex from you.
Gaitingirl
I had a cat who would lick my nose after giving him a kiss on the head, I loved his little kitty kisses. It might be imitation.
ViralLola
My friend's cat chirps when she sees me and head butt nuzzles me. Does it mean she likes me?
princeherbert
My cat is not cleaning me when she bites my hair. Bitch is trying to get me up after I've ignored her to try and sleep. No sleep at 3am. NO!
butmahitsjustmebooo
habslove
I lose it at the end every time
TheGhostMinx
All we need is a Rando face now.
HeroOfKvatch1
That face lol.
HeroOfKvatch1
ieatCheezIts
JakeHawke
That indicates that that cat is either furious, or playful, or loves you, or is bored. Apparently.
HeroOfKvatch1
And you better figure out which one it is soon.
butmahitsjustmebooo
Or is high as fuck on catnip.
Lamech777
"Relaxing music for cats"
VerdantApollo
Dog person: ‘I want a loyal pet I can understand and is catered to me!’ Cat person: ‘Is there a pet with Borderline Personality Disorder?’
Prosecutrixxx
As a psychologist and a crazy cat lady, this made me lol
justahumanonline
have owned dogs before, and am currently owned by a cat. can confirm.
AntonioStark
This joke deserves way more upvotes.
hellifiknowwhatsgoingon
I appreciate the independence of a cat, but Im a dog person because I love that they're so honest and caring.
Redeyer
I love dogs but I need most of them to calm the fuck down
szai
I love both equally. But my cat is always by my side. She doesn't ignore me when I call her name.. she cuddles me even after being fed. <3
JokerFrown
Your dog ignores you? Could be bad training? Mine gets hyper active if you call hers
strugglesnuggler
Ferret Person: "Is there a pet with ADD and kleptomania?" Lizard Person: "Is there a pet that isn't a pet?
MagnorCriol
Both perfect.
Asteroidrules
Does a snake person count as a lizard person?
FLDairyTrooper
Rabbit person: "I just want to confuse poop and Cocoa Puffs."
TheMajesticHarpyEagle
Excuse you tegu are awesome and sweet. Like a scale puppy.
IamMelonLordeYaYaYa
Fish person: "Is there a pet?"
Rognin
Coral person: "I want a colorful pet that doesn't shit, make noise, or require attention but still moves"
korvazor
Both situations apply to each of my cats. Neko is a happy love bug, Kitty is scared of everything and is generally batshit crazy/stupid.
Lucallia
My husband calls my cat an apathetic cloud. I miss my cloud. :(
hellifiknowwhatsgoingon
Love the names :P
korvazor
Yeah, 14 year-old me thought 'Neko' was a great cat name. Kitty got hers since its the only name she responds to...
NinjaSpork
"your cat wants you to do a thing, or possibly the exact opposite"
Farore
I imagine it's like an alien trying to understand our use of the word "Fuck".
mechanimated
To be fair, that's basically every animal. Humans laugh when they're comfortable and having fun, or when anxious and uncomfortable.
tarataqa
As a cat, fuck you.
questionableanswers
You know that game where you attribute an animal to a person. Friends and family all agree I'm a cat. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
tarataqa
This is the animal my friends and family call me:
eclect0
"Cat either wants to play with you or rip you to shreds. Just kidding, cat does not differentiate between the two."
NukeMuffin
Por que no los dos?
MagnorCriol
Yeah, seems about right.
SharkoutofWata
And you better guess right which one it is.
FeaurieVladskovitz
Describes cats perfectly
GhostMerchant
and women. HAHAHAHA amiright guys?... guys?
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED
Women are simple, if they pull a knife out on you, it means they want to make you a sammich
avertyereyes
Or not at all
Cosmic610
I blame Schrodinger
MrWolfwood
"Yes I have a very good understanding of cats, or I don't" Every cat expert.
DaveFireBeard
My second cousin murdered my cat and buried her in a shallow grave several paces into the wooded glen behind the family home
slightlyincontinent
So sorry for your loss and so sorry that you have to deal with people like them.. Are you okay?
DaveFireBeard
Thanks. It's been a while and the cousin has since become an inpatient in a mental health facility. Long story, but I'm okay. Thank you!
slightlyincontinent
If you ever feel the need to tell this story, I'm here
VegetaWasAPrisonBitch
"butting you slightly with his head". Hah. Mine headbutts me with a force that would make a football hooligan proud.
Luftschiffpirat
"LOOOOVEEE MEEEE!!!!" - Cat
VegetaWasAPrisonBitch
More like "feed me you lazy asshole. My bowl is exactly 1/3 empty. Why haven't you fixed this, fucko?"
Elstanja
and mine! And he is huge! Still glad he hasn't broken my nose yet.
VegetaWasAPrisonBitch
Give it time. What breed is he? We have to half maine coons and a regular tabby.
Elstanja
I honestly have no idea what breed he is. We got him from an animal shelter and never asked.