Mar 6, 2018 11:24 AM
PacificCoast
103779
1667
18
bunniesbeforeboners
Pretty murder fish
lurkenroundnstuff
Murder dolphin.... Nope. Hell no.
GiggidyGidget
It wants to eat you.
fandsor
I'm not sure I could keep myself from trying to touch it. So cool!
RuralReaction
Excuse me.. cause i just shit my pant.
ssaberhagen
I would be scared to be that close to it but not that worried about dying https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_whale_attacks_on_humans
Elonth
when something can eat you in 2 bites and actively kills great whites/dolphins & other whales. There is no FUCKING WAY you are off the menu
RussianGTAScreenshots
MRW I realise Killer Whales are actually dolphins
BoraDaExplora
iamgman
More like a test bump to see if he can get you to drop in the water so he can have a snack. They are smart aggressive hunters.
maelinWiz1
I'd be freaking the #@%$ out!
JakisBack
That level of balance... yo they're called killer whale for a reason
DrSharkbite
v
jakeybee
Jaws theme plays
whocanPelican
"...You're not a seal." -she swims away in disappointment-
jlbashaw
Tuxedo Torpedo
awesomeinabox1234360
UonlyThinkyourDead
Ok that's a new one, +1
Werenostrangerstolove
Panda shark
Jakc3113
TheSkepticDyslexicNihilist
lestrat
That's awesome and terrifying at the same time.
Wthwasthat789
I would have died of pure fear right there .
me0time
ROW MOTH**FUCK** ROW!!!!!
ApproachingDadBod
I peed my pants just watching that.
billison
Did you.... did you really..
handbanana13
Uh uh! Nope!
Andr3tti
"The ocean is where the killer whale does 100% of his killing"
IgnatiusJReilly2601
Actually, they deliberately beach themselves to snatch seals off the beach in Alaska and Argentina.
Black0rchids
ISeeWhatIDidThere
Beautiful and terrifying. Just how I like my women.
ASlovenlyOaf
I prefer terrified, but that just me.
SwiggitySwooty7
TBarracuda33
Did you know they are actually dolphins not whales
ZepTheNooBVersionTwo
I think they are their own species and not a sub of any kind.
Thoobiey
Well, yeah, but they are part of the family of dolphins, so they are their own species, but also in a larger group
Rapscallion975
The largest dolphins. 30ft. That one was a juvenile.
cutofyojib
I'm so glad someone mentioned this. I oddly get in this argument a lot. "Oh they're a whale it's in their name" yeah fuck off it's a dolphin
beggingyourmajestyspardon
You sir, know your science
ClassifiedUsername
Go on.......
dragosteakae
Orcas were given the name “whale killer” by ancient sailors’ observations of groups of orcas hunting and preying on larger whale species.
Over time the wording was switched from "whale killer" to "killer whale."
Thank you for actually following through
Strauss73
Call me crazy,but being surrounded by murder guppies does sound or look like a lot of fun.
CantComeUpWithACreativeUsername
+1 for "murder guppies"
736f6d657468696e6720636c65766572
I believe the scientific term is Tuxedo Torpedo but I like this colloquial term better... I am using it from now on
If he thought you were a seal on an iceberg, you'd be a boner.
Shit, I meant goner.
dainz
ISeeWhatYouDidThere
SammMoney
He was sizing you up. Seen to much shit about how evil these bastards are.
Tikityler
There is only one well documented bite from a wild Orca and no reported deaths. Only Orcas in captivity have killed humans that we know of.
Krakencrotch
The shit's actually inside your eye sockets.
UndulatingTerrain
*too
FredDibnahChimney
“Seen too much shit about how evil these bastards are.” - Thought the Orca
IAmJacksRagingBileDuct
Not evil, just an apex predator whose environment you don't belong in.
Arconyte
Don't belong? Wat? Also, wild orcas have a damn good track record with humans. Can't say the opposite.
ramshead91
They aren't evil just hyper intelligent like humans... shit I'm sorry your right evil was the right word.
Chainmailler
There's incredibly smart but like dolphins aren't sentient
BisonMooseDuck
You seem confident in that statement as if it’s a verified known fact, which it is not.
When we reach the time in Earth's history for it to be waterworld, these bad mamajamas are going to rule the world
NeoRacha
Lol at mamajamas. Also, that's how I feel about Octopodes if they weren't such antisocial hermits.
Maybe there is method to the antisocial madness
bigdirtycroissant
You're*
IncorrektGramerNazi
No he was right it's *yor
CADmunkey
*checks username* +1
smittyspawnshop
Yup. That 2000lb beast thought you were a seal.
Sorry, just googled it. Turns out they can weigh between 3000 and 12,000 pounds.
CapableTrash
They big
dorimefatso
I’ve heard sharks can mistake these boards for seals swimming on their back. Whales are much smarter. I DON’T KNOW!
FloridaTurtle
Yeah sharks are dumb but they don't like sweet blood, whales Will eat anything if it's hungry.
CarInAVet
Orcas aren't whales (and I think are smarter). There has never been a recorded attack on humans in the wild.
There are three BBC documentaries featuring film boats being attacked. They play with dead bodies.
Do you know the names? And did the orcas actually harm anyone?
penguinboobs
"The killer whale or orca (Orcinus orca) is a toothed whale"
Hmmmm. http://us.whales.org/faqs/facts-about-whales-and-dolphins#n9937
I'd never heard that dolphins are considered a sub-species of whale, just that orcas are considered dolphins.
Althecon
Theres no recorded attack from a killer whale on a human in the wild He's just curious, I doubt he was looking to make a meal out of the guy
This is BS
RizZy28
cause they don't leave anyone behind to record it?
eggmuffin
That's just not true. A BBC film crew were hit with a wash-wave attack a couple of years back.
ReadOnlyMemories
There are no documented human fatal encounters with wild orcas, perhaps that's what he meant.
ds046796281710
Just missing people at sea
got any source on that? i can't find anything.
AngrySaltire
Watch the making of bbc frozen planet, think 1st episode. Fantastic shots !
https://youtu.be/SBRu3LGceAg
Wouldnt really call it an attack though.
iflyme
Yeah, no thanks. As cool as they are, I'm not about to leave the decision, as to whether I am food or not, up to an animal.
TimmyDans
They have attack many humans since we started using nukes...it's actually a pretty weird phenomena
theusernameformerlyknownastildo
He could just be wanting to play with you too:
TreesNStuff
Especially not an animal with the word "killer" in its name...
Buckbeak1486
Pretty sure Orcas are smarter than us.
HahaYeahNo
DoctorNinjah
Orcas are smart enough to know not to fuck with people.
AfenSSBM
We are but mere animals too, iflyme
Granted, but it changes my comment not a bit.
Morpheaus
In that position, you really do not have any decision making power.
Nedlyest
Everything thing they do is on porpoise.
goflyblind
aSophiebear
That's literally what they do too.they play with their food. An orca being curious about you is not good lmao.
samsonguy920
That's the trouble with orcas. They are carnivores, but very playful, too, and not always with their food.
idiotn00b
RednapxpandeR
There’s very few documented cases in the last 100 years of Orcas attacking humans in the wild
sjpb7630
Race To The End about Amundsen and Scott has several reports of Orcas attacking sled dogs and horses, and people.
RoscoeLuvsBosco
Yeah, but how many undocumented cases are there?
Especially after we moved out of the ocean
Loominati
This is not, how you, use commas
Inappropriator
They way you use them, I agree, is totally wrong.
Agreed. It was early, and my pedantic-syntax-nazi defense system was not completely operational yet. Mea culpa.
angelGrinderSciFiLover
why not, i've been doing this all my life, it's like when you take a natural pause in speech, right?
YouCantLieOnTv
Why not? I've been doing this all my life. It's like when you take a natural pause in speech, right?
It might, be how, I, use commas,
WhatEverYouShallWantToCallMe
Unless he is, Christopher, Walken
It's a correct sentence and the commas can absolutely be used like that. How would you've written it?
I don't know what schooling you've had, but at minimum the comma after "decision" was totally unnecessary.
"As cool as they are, I'm not about to leave the decision, (describing decision), to an animal." It's correct. English major anywhere?
As well as after "not"
It's correct both ways. I personally don't like your way, because it's like you don't take pauses for breathing. It reads unnaturally.
A lot. I went to school from age 6 to 26.
ErgonomicZero
Wonder how many people they attack (the non-seaworld kind)
Nitz257
Theres a case of a bite in 1970s and they sank a boat , but left the family alone.
Two spereate instances
atTheRealMAD
There has been no record of orcas attacking humans outside of SeaWorld, according to Joe Rogan
councilofmikes
There they call them by their street sea name, “killer whale”.
iDrawStuff
I live in the San Juans - it doesn't happen.
StoptheInfamousElGuapo
I visited Seattle maybe 12 or 13 years ago for a week. I literally spent 3 of the five days driving around San Juan Island, Orcas Island,
and Lopez Island. If money were not an object, I would love to live there.....
hailspacegod
Blackfish is a good film for that exact question
anonnona887
Yep, they murder anything else though.
SecondSince
Not really. They have a fairly specific diet that changes per pod. They CAN murder anything else though.
TinaRuthBelcher
None. Zero. They are too intelligent. They know we aren’t food.
You're attributing human characteristics to a non-human. We may not be their ordinary food, but we would certainly serve as food in a pinch.
https://www.kqed.org/quest/20655/why-killer-whales-don’t-eat-people-where-science-and-legend-meet animals share certain characteristics w/
Us. Regardless, they choose not eat us. Even in a pinch. There are zero reports on wild orcas killing people
I wonder how many people they eat have their disappearances correctly classified.
0. we have 0 recorded cases... That said there is no way they haven't eaten human before. They eat great whites and dolphins no way were off
We don’t have the fat content that seals, sharks, and othe marine animals have. Not even close
Two animals which are distinctly non-human.
Solkanarmy
what kind of people are seaworld people?
SparklingUnicornFarts
Tasty people
universalcode
http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/02/25/florida.seaworld.death/index.html
overpolitemidwesterner
There are actually no recorded fatal encounters in the wild with these guys. Smart enough to tell we aren't seals
Two chomps and we'd fit inside their huge gullets. So really, where would be the evidence?
Edutittam
Unless people have been only going out alone for hundreds of years I'm sure another person would have seen it.
ruferto
they poop things out
But then what would lead someone to believe the human turd nugget came from a killer whale?
MortiAlicia
Ooooorrrrr.... they just kill all the witnesses. Just another boat that sank in calm weather.
CrackingPostGromit
Another well-orcastrated hunt.
PeePeeFrictionPleasure
Hey now, no need to stain their reputations over false claims. They're called Killer whales, not Sinker whales.
THRAWN18
They're nickname is killer whales. They're called Orcas
sealfury
In Swedish they’re called Lardstabbers.
bunniesbeforeboners
Pretty murder fish
lurkenroundnstuff
Murder dolphin.... Nope. Hell no.
GiggidyGidget
It wants to eat you.
fandsor
I'm not sure I could keep myself from trying to touch it. So cool!
RuralReaction
Excuse me.. cause i just shit my pant.
ssaberhagen
I would be scared to be that close to it but not that worried about dying https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_whale_attacks_on_humans
Elonth
when something can eat you in 2 bites and actively kills great whites/dolphins & other whales. There is no FUCKING WAY you are off the menu
RussianGTAScreenshots
MRW I realise Killer Whales are actually dolphins
BoraDaExplora
iamgman
More like a test bump to see if he can get you to drop in the water so he can have a snack. They are smart aggressive hunters.
maelinWiz1
I'd be freaking the #@%$ out!
JakisBack
That level of balance... yo they're called killer whale for a reason
DrSharkbite
jakeybee
Jaws theme plays
whocanPelican
"...You're not a seal." -she swims away in disappointment-
jlbashaw
Tuxedo Torpedo
awesomeinabox1234360
UonlyThinkyourDead
Ok that's a new one, +1
Werenostrangerstolove
Panda shark
Jakc3113
TheSkepticDyslexicNihilist
lestrat
jlbashaw
That's awesome and terrifying at the same time.
Wthwasthat789
I would have died of pure fear right there .
me0time
ROW MOTH**FUCK** ROW!!!!!
ApproachingDadBod
I peed my pants just watching that.
billison
Did you.... did you really..
handbanana13
Uh uh! Nope!
Andr3tti
"The ocean is where the killer whale does 100% of his killing"
IgnatiusJReilly2601
Actually, they deliberately beach themselves to snatch seals off the beach in Alaska and Argentina.
Black0rchids
It wants to eat you.
ISeeWhatIDidThere
Beautiful and terrifying. Just how I like my women.
ASlovenlyOaf
I prefer terrified, but that just me.
SwiggitySwooty7
TBarracuda33
Did you know they are actually dolphins not whales
ZepTheNooBVersionTwo
I think they are their own species and not a sub of any kind.
Thoobiey
Well, yeah, but they are part of the family of dolphins, so they are their own species, but also in a larger group
Rapscallion975
The largest dolphins. 30ft. That one was a juvenile.
cutofyojib
I'm so glad someone mentioned this. I oddly get in this argument a lot. "Oh they're a whale it's in their name" yeah fuck off it's a dolphin
beggingyourmajestyspardon
You sir, know your science
ClassifiedUsername
Go on.......
dragosteakae
Orcas were given the name “whale killer” by ancient sailors’ observations of groups of orcas hunting and preying on larger whale species.
dragosteakae
Over time the wording was switched from "whale killer" to "killer whale."
ClassifiedUsername
Thank you for actually following through
Strauss73
Call me crazy,but being surrounded by murder guppies does sound or look like a lot of fun.
CantComeUpWithACreativeUsername
+1 for "murder guppies"
736f6d657468696e6720636c65766572
I believe the scientific term is Tuxedo Torpedo but I like this colloquial term better... I am using it from now on
ISeeWhatIDidThere
If he thought you were a seal on an iceberg, you'd be a boner.
ISeeWhatIDidThere
Shit, I meant goner.
dainz
ISeeWhatYouDidThere
SammMoney
He was sizing you up. Seen to much shit about how evil these bastards are.
Tikityler
There is only one well documented bite from a wild Orca and no reported deaths. Only Orcas in captivity have killed humans that we know of.
Krakencrotch
The shit's actually inside your eye sockets.
UndulatingTerrain
*too
FredDibnahChimney
“Seen too much shit about how evil these bastards are.” - Thought the Orca
IAmJacksRagingBileDuct
Not evil, just an apex predator whose environment you don't belong in.
Arconyte
Don't belong? Wat? Also, wild orcas have a damn good track record with humans. Can't say the opposite.
ramshead91
They aren't evil just hyper intelligent like humans... shit I'm sorry your right evil was the right word.
Chainmailler
There's incredibly smart but like dolphins aren't sentient
BisonMooseDuck
You seem confident in that statement as if it’s a verified known fact, which it is not.
beggingyourmajestyspardon
When we reach the time in Earth's history for it to be waterworld, these bad mamajamas are going to rule the world
NeoRacha
Lol at mamajamas. Also, that's how I feel about Octopodes if they weren't such antisocial hermits.
beggingyourmajestyspardon
Maybe there is method to the antisocial madness
bigdirtycroissant
You're*
IncorrektGramerNazi
No he was right it's *yor
CADmunkey
*checks username* +1
smittyspawnshop
Yup. That 2000lb beast thought you were a seal.
smittyspawnshop
Sorry, just googled it. Turns out they can weigh between 3000 and 12,000 pounds.
CapableTrash
They big
dorimefatso
I’ve heard sharks can mistake these boards for seals swimming on their back. Whales are much smarter. I DON’T KNOW!
FloridaTurtle
Yeah sharks are dumb but they don't like sweet blood, whales Will eat anything if it's hungry.
CarInAVet
Orcas aren't whales (and I think are smarter). There has never been a recorded attack on humans in the wild.
FloridaTurtle
There are three BBC documentaries featuring film boats being attacked. They play with dead bodies.
CarInAVet
Do you know the names? And did the orcas actually harm anyone?
penguinboobs
"The killer whale or orca (Orcinus orca) is a toothed whale"
CarInAVet
Hmmmm. http://us.whales.org/faqs/facts-about-whales-and-dolphins#n9937
CarInAVet
I'd never heard that dolphins are considered a sub-species of whale, just that orcas are considered dolphins.
Althecon
Theres no recorded attack from a killer whale on a human in the wild He's just curious, I doubt he was looking to make a meal out of the guy
FloridaTurtle
This is BS
RizZy28
cause they don't leave anyone behind to record it?
eggmuffin
That's just not true. A BBC film crew were hit with a wash-wave attack a couple of years back.
ReadOnlyMemories
There are no documented human fatal encounters with wild orcas, perhaps that's what he meant.
ds046796281710
Just missing people at sea
Elonth
got any source on that? i can't find anything.
AngrySaltire
Watch the making of bbc frozen planet, think 1st episode. Fantastic shots !
AngrySaltire
https://youtu.be/SBRu3LGceAg
AngrySaltire
Wouldnt really call it an attack though.
iflyme
Yeah, no thanks. As cool as they are, I'm not about to leave the decision, as to whether I am food or not, up to an animal.
TimmyDans
They have attack many humans since we started using nukes...it's actually a pretty weird phenomena
theusernameformerlyknownastildo
He could just be wanting to play with you too:
TreesNStuff
Especially not an animal with the word "killer" in its name...
Buckbeak1486
Pretty sure Orcas are smarter than us.
HahaYeahNo
DoctorNinjah
Orcas are smart enough to know not to fuck with people.
AfenSSBM
We are but mere animals too, iflyme
iflyme
Granted, but it changes my comment not a bit.
Morpheaus
In that position, you really do not have any decision making power.
Nedlyest
Everything thing they do is on porpoise.
goflyblind
aSophiebear
That's literally what they do too.they play with their food. An orca being curious about you is not good lmao.
samsonguy920
That's the trouble with orcas. They are carnivores, but very playful, too, and not always with their food.
idiotn00b
RednapxpandeR
There’s very few documented cases in the last 100 years of Orcas attacking humans in the wild
sjpb7630
Race To The End about Amundsen and Scott has several reports of Orcas attacking sled dogs and horses, and people.
RoscoeLuvsBosco
Yeah, but how many undocumented cases are there?
aSophiebear
Especially after we moved out of the ocean
Loominati
This is not, how you, use commas
Inappropriator
They way you use them, I agree, is totally wrong.
iflyme
Agreed. It was early, and my pedantic-syntax-nazi defense system was not completely operational yet. Mea culpa.
angelGrinderSciFiLover
why not, i've been doing this all my life, it's like when you take a natural pause in speech, right?
YouCantLieOnTv
Why not? I've been doing this all my life. It's like when you take a natural pause in speech, right?
samsonguy920
It might, be how, I, use commas,
WhatEverYouShallWantToCallMe
Unless he is, Christopher, Walken
Inappropriator
It's a correct sentence and the commas can absolutely be used like that. How would you've written it?
Loominati
I don't know what schooling you've had, but at minimum the comma after "decision" was totally unnecessary.
Inappropriator
"As cool as they are, I'm not about to leave the decision, (describing decision), to an animal." It's correct. English major anywhere?
Loominati
As well as after "not"
Inappropriator
It's correct both ways. I personally don't like your way, because it's like you don't take pauses for breathing. It reads unnaturally.
Inappropriator
A lot. I went to school from age 6 to 26.
ErgonomicZero
Wonder how many people they attack (the non-seaworld kind)
Nitz257
Theres a case of a bite in 1970s and they sank a boat , but left the family alone.
Nitz257
Two spereate instances
atTheRealMAD
There has been no record of orcas attacking humans outside of SeaWorld, according to Joe Rogan
councilofmikes
There they call them by their street sea name, “killer whale”.
iDrawStuff
I live in the San Juans - it doesn't happen.
StoptheInfamousElGuapo
I visited Seattle maybe 12 or 13 years ago for a week. I literally spent 3 of the five days driving around San Juan Island, Orcas Island,
StoptheInfamousElGuapo
and Lopez Island. If money were not an object, I would love to live there.....
hailspacegod
Blackfish is a good film for that exact question
anonnona887
Yep, they murder anything else though.
SecondSince
Not really. They have a fairly specific diet that changes per pod. They CAN murder anything else though.
TinaRuthBelcher
None. Zero. They are too intelligent. They know we aren’t food.
iflyme
You're attributing human characteristics to a non-human. We may not be their ordinary food, but we would certainly serve as food in a pinch.
TinaRuthBelcher
https://www.kqed.org/quest/20655/why-killer-whales-don’t-eat-people-where-science-and-legend-meet animals share certain characteristics w/
TinaRuthBelcher
Us. Regardless, they choose not eat us. Even in a pinch. There are zero reports on wild orcas killing people
iflyme
I wonder how many people they eat have their disappearances correctly classified.
Elonth
0. we have 0 recorded cases... That said there is no way they haven't eaten human before. They eat great whites and dolphins no way were off
TinaRuthBelcher
We don’t have the fat content that seals, sharks, and othe marine animals have. Not even close
Morpheaus
Two animals which are distinctly non-human.
Solkanarmy
what kind of people are seaworld people?
SparklingUnicornFarts
Tasty people
universalcode
http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/02/25/florida.seaworld.death/index.html
overpolitemidwesterner
There are actually no recorded fatal encounters in the wild with these guys. Smart enough to tell we aren't seals
beggingyourmajestyspardon
Two chomps and we'd fit inside their huge gullets. So really, where would be the evidence?
Edutittam
Unless people have been only going out alone for hundreds of years I'm sure another person would have seen it.
ruferto
they poop things out
beggingyourmajestyspardon
But then what would lead someone to believe the human turd nugget came from a killer whale?
MortiAlicia
Ooooorrrrr.... they just kill all the witnesses. Just another boat that sank in calm weather.
CrackingPostGromit
Another well-orcastrated hunt.
PeePeeFrictionPleasure
Hey now, no need to stain their reputations over false claims. They're called Killer whales, not Sinker whales.
THRAWN18
They're nickname is killer whales. They're called Orcas
sealfury
In Swedish they’re called Lardstabbers.